Sch Sch Sch

Fifth Week of School

if you wan find any word to describe it, all I can say is 'Hectic'..

School life hasn't been easy for anyone, especially for us. We have like 3 sub-modules squeeze into 1 core module. And the sub modules itself is already very demanding..

Being taught for only 4wks and going for a Viva voce is not easy man. it's only 4 wks, and you have to apply everything tat you learn into tat 10-15mins of viva voce.. with that trembling voice and that echo-y room, the thoughts of it just make me shiver again..And it's going to be 15% of 1 core module. 10-15mins of work will determine your 15%percent. oh man, i'm not trying to be calculative here, but it's just too much to bear man.

can you imagine, having a viva voce in wk4, I was just warming up man...

Hurdles after hurdles... i'm still hanging there, with the support and guidance from god, I guess I can pull it thru again this semester, but what I want is to get better. but how to get better when I don't have time to do my own things but just trying to catch up with whatever I had missed out.. life is not easy as a 2nd yr student man..

but I must say, it was really interesting..

Self-maintanance module for cool.. way cool.. thinking of ways to adapt our dangerous environment to a safe one, with the cheapest material and the simplest gadget.. so cool.. And Magnus always telling us where her hidout and where she source for cheap gds.. I love this module man. anyway if I really work in community setting in future, I think this is one of the big area that I would wan venture into. using junk to create assistive device for the poor and needy. Wow..it's my dream ok.

then next is creativity.. haha for those who had clicked on my class blog OT0502 in my links, you would know tat we are having fun in class.. playing with clay.. I never knew tat my hands can be so good.. And also I went for phototaking around chinatown with my 2 classmates( coz we were inspired by Dewitt Jones, a photographer for national geography) we saw his video and his perception of things in this world.way cool man..And then today was puppetry.. haha n we had a plot to act out.so using my drawing talent, we decided to tell the story of the REDHILL.. And lastly, my project for creativity, I had many ideas, but decided on making paper marchie to do a piggy-bank model.Practical and therapeutic.i thinking of doing a slam dunk too.but see how la.

then come BIO-Sensorimotor. it's interesting coz we can to palpate and practice palpating on our classmates. Prerequisition: Wear Swimming costumme for every pract class..

haha.. no kidding. it'll be a 3 hr pract when my own class will be parading in swimming costumme. And touching eachother so openly and legally.. no one can charge me of molest during tat 3 hr man.

then it's mobility when I learn how to use the wheelchair, and then how to position my pt, how to help them get up of bed and doing transfer from wheelchair to bed and vice versa, and many other things tat get them to move around basically.. it's fun to me coz it's hands on.. And I like hands on stuff..

unlike...

NE..oh god, it's a totally waste of time. And yar your eyes are not playing trick on you, it's National Education(NE). it's 0 credit but 100% attendance is compulsory. Ok, the stupidest thing tat the lecturer threaten us with is tat we need tat NE cert to get to Local Uni, but I was like, ok, tell me tat again if there an OT degree in Singapore.. haiz.. she need to keep herself updated man.

then was Behavioral Modification. I hate it.cz lecturer is boring, with cannot make it sense of humor.then the examples tat she gave(usually with her children) makes me feel sorry for her children. can you imagine your mom know behavior mod so well tat she's subtling conditioning you everyday, and she has no worry that you'll find out one day,coz she believes tat you are under her control all the time.. oh tat's spooky man. I don't deny tat conditioning and behavior modification is in our daily life and happening to us all the time. but at least before I have this module, I didn't feel tat i'm being conditioned and being controlled.so tat's ok. haha... living with ignorant is good..

then Behavioral Science modules are ok. quite interesting something, not so some other time. but overall i'm enjoying it. especially basic counselling, so friend, you can always talk to me if you need to,i'll try to help you.. today we video recorded our counselling session with our friend( ok, only my group did it) and we had a great time analysis the video and assessing our own performance.. so at the end of all these sessions, we are suppose to write a reflective report and peer eval on how we fare in our skills of basic counselling. haha. cool man I can't wait.

Magnus said tat Vivo voce results will be posted out somewhere this wk. no one failed,but some did better than others.so i'm worried tat I didn't do so well.although didn't put in 110% effort, but I did my max tat I can do.

it's getting busy each wk.this wkend suppose to join class in soccer tournament.What a joke.but hope can win something small.. better than nothing right. haha..

ok physiology is in a mess now.better catch up with it soon,otherwise i'll die at the end of sem.

Doing on vision, hearing and vestibular system. But they all related and all so complicated.tat sometimes I really dont catch what param is saying. And param, being a In-dian. I had difficulties catching his pronounciation.words like Cerebrum and cerebellum.. haiz. And alot more... but he's sense of humor makes me try to keep awake as much as possible,so param is a good guy.

ok lastly, i'm missing SAJC and esp the band members, and MHMB too.. I bump into lily for the 2nd time today. reminds me of the days when i'll bump into her during break at the SAJC cafeteria(aka canteen)... got to know her thru huiqin, my slack together friend in SAJC (1st 3 mths).. oh dear, miss all tat crap.. And of coz peggy, jas tat group of band members. just met them at the last band concert and I wan go back to band, I wan join alumni, but my timing and committment really has not enough to go around. And august is my exam period,but the SAINTS family playing in Esplanade again, I wan play.. but no time, so maybe i'll be an audience this time.hope I got chance nxt time. but I think SAINT alumni trombone is strong enough too,don't need me..haha.but I still wan add in the noise..

So many things in mind to do,but really no time. like sitting here to blog, I already like wasted 10 mins.. I shall end. bye peeps.take care.

The philosophy of OT

Human should always engage in purposeful occupation, and purposeful occupation keeps one healthy and functioning phsically, mentally and socially.

曹格 Superwomen.. first heard this song on campus superstar.. i think it's really a nice song. the mv also tells a nice story.. i think he's not bad, and he's a malaysian. no particular offends tat he's a malaysian, just proud tat he's an asian born singer. Saw him on 100% Entertainment and he is dating mayi( the jap cute little girl). and he's so sweet to her,always singing for her. wondering if all these songs are written for her too.. haha

Today's mothers' day. skipped church, feeling bad. but i slept the whole night yesterday after coming home from dinner.. feel so tired i dunno why. this week haven't really exercise except swimming for once. but i think it's not enough. maybe go swim again later.. haha.. ok i need to go do my tons of work before sch starts tml.. shit i sleep too much, got no time now.. fractically fractic and feels desperate.

Beautiful Saturday

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY mummy.

it's going to be mother's day tml. But i decided that we should bring forward the celebration coz monday's a sch day, and i'll be busy preparing for sch tml.so no time for dinner with my mummy..

Tonight we are going to bring my mommy and my bf's mommy to this chinese restaurant at chinese high(beside the swimming pool) coz apparently my mommy has a VIP card from there even though we had nv tried the restaurant before..

Today i started my day at 8.20am. Woke up from a dream(can't remember what was it) and had to rush to sch for Mrs Wong's discussion with Chunrui and Chermain.Actually the discussion could be quite short, but we made it long coz we were chatting along.. Coz library closes at 1, we left the library at 1. The the last msg tat we heard over the PA system was, " To all library users, we'll be locking up in 10 mins time. Pls check that you do not leave any belongs behind.Thank You."

I was thinking, as if you gng to lock me inside, i mean some librarian or some1 will definitely check around the library first before they really lock up right. haiz anyway.. then later i went to GIANT at Turf City to get fluroscent tube for the toilet, coz it blew up last night, i had to bath in the dark, so i decided to buy one to change it.

I also bought 2 packet of cakemix coz i decided to bake mothers' day cake for my mommy and my bf's mommy on his behalf.haha(he owe me one more)

So nw that i'm back home,i had placed the cake into the oven already,so i'm waiting for time to pass,so i decided to blog.. haha..i got chocolate chip butter cake for my bf's mommy and raisin butter cake for my mommy coz she loves raisin.

I wanna thank you my mommy for showing me her care and concern always, and thank you my bf's mommy for taking care of him so well that he's such a refine adult now.

I wanna thank all mommy's for giving us life,coz without you, there'll not be us now.

i love my mommy.

do we look alike.

I'm Loving it...

"FAN"

小S is back on 100% Entertainment.. awaited for a long long time. haha. i'm suppose to be doing my Form 3 for Activity Analysis. but so happen to pop by(actually is purposely) youtube.com and so i found this clip and started watch and i just can't stop!! i must have good time management.

Last night Concert was great,but audience was so rowdy tat they seem to be going for some singing concert you know...
I received a call asking me to run for presidency, but heard from another person tat they are just looking for pple to run because they don't want the president to run uncontested!! oh man, so you are asking me to be a smoke screen issit.. should i agree or not to? i really don't know, only another 2 hrs more for me to decide.. what should i do?? i need some advice? should i run or not?

A day at Chinatown

Yesterday was labour day, so we went around chinatown and had some fun time taking photos around singapore. Looking for some nice scene in singapore.. but after not long, crystal's batt died out on her, so left me and chelsea.. but just slightly before lunch, chelsea camera also died on her.So.. i'm the sore survivor on the day, but then my memory card was full by the time we reach esplanade..

I drove to chinatown and had to use $3.50 of coupons.. then went to marina sq later and paid $2.. so the total parking fee for that day was $5.50.. so damn ex la.. why is there no more free parking on public hols for public carpark.. really don't understand.. haiz.. and the aunties are busy walking around the public carparks looking for cheaters. but i mean it's public hols can they have a break too. haiz..

anyway it was fun, and we explored the boutique hotel in chinatown called the Scarlet. it was really a seductive and romantic place for young lovers so i recommend all honeymooner who are coming to singapore to stay in there, you'll have no regrets man...

ok so here is a preview of the pictures we took yesterday. haven't got time to do up the rest.but will do it when i'm free.

too busy with sch now. can't wait for the next public hols and we can go phototaking around singapore again.. erm, next place should be Holland Village.. anyone interested can join us. take care pal..

i'm really excitied to go back to SAV to wait SAJC band Concert.. looking forward to friday..

hweeee

finally figured out how to use adobe photoshop.. and this is what i got from learning photoshop. time to hit back to the books.. it's only 2nd wk of sch.. already so many many things to do. i need a break.. thinking of redang trip in june(my 2 wks hols) any one interested to join me??

Pressing on Toward the GOAL

MY GOAL

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that of which Christ Jesus told hold of me.

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward to Christ Jesus.

JIAYOU!!

Stress

STRESS.....

someone told me it was never easy??

Thank you for the roses..

STRESS.....

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

GET me OUT of STRESS!!

Airmail from my dearest in australia.

what's inside the parcel, and also...

a postcard from my dearest.

Happy Birthday Huihui.

明明很爱你

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住地看几眼
感觉强烈

一句微笑的方便
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
攻真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意

讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问起
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不奏看几眼
感觉强烈

已经微笑地放电
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
够真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意

讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问心
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

What's Wrong

What's Wrong???

My friends always tell me, i really admire you and your guy, so loving and supportive of each other. You all look like you are ready to be for each other for the rest of your lives..

oh issit... i always wish it's the case, i don't know why. lazy to look for love,so just wanna stick with him forever? or what is it?

The love still seem strong(at least my love for him is) but i don't know what wrong recently.. am i asking too much from him, or do i have too high expectation of him. Or did he just trying to give up his life to some setback and difficulties that he face everyday? i don't know what wrong lately, but it doesn't seem like we are understanding each other anymore, even when i seem to know how he feels, he thinks i don't.. same for him i guess..

Falling in love always seem so easy, why staying in love seem so tiring for me.. after coming to 3 yrs, where do i stand? where are we going? still in the same direction? So much about love? some ask me do you envy those who are single and happy.. i'll post the qn back to them, then do you envy those who are attached but still as happy as can be? But now, i don't know who i should envy? both parties seems like a disgusting position to be in...

what is love? what is being there for each other? what's wrong? i don't know.. why did he suddenly turn his back unto me, and the last sentence he said to me was ''then dun talk to me''... oh shit did i say something wrong before that... maybe i did.. all i said was '' when i talk to you, i feel like strangling myself ''... haiz.. should i not have said that at all.. but that was how i really felt then.. is there something wrong.. i really dunno.. but i'm also too tired to think anymore.. i just feel like sleeping and dream that it can go back 3 years ago and i want to start all over again.. will i still make the same decision, will i still do the same thing? will we still choose to be seperated... haiz. why ask so much.. i just don't want to think about it anymore.

i'm so useless...

hohoho... today, i received my first birthday card. from uncle eric.. thanks.and this year the card is nice. every year he sends a different card and usually they are very special..

before sch start

haha... went for morning service today, then had lunch with hannah, chelsea and another friend from church. After that went to meet my bruddy who came back from india training.. and he still got the cheek to be late for more than 1/2 hr. then we saw my long lost junior kok and his girlfriend shopping around town.. Went to borders cos my rich bruddy wanna buy ipod nano... and then to be sorry for being late, treated me to a cup of hot chocolate and we talked and chit chat... and i got tired so wanna come home and rest and also wanna accompany my dear who's home alone the whole day and feeling all so lonely in brisbane... but i can't help much so come home and 'accompany' him online..

going to take a nap now..Bye.

All ready to return to sch. I bought the diary and pencil case from borders. The pencil case cost me $10bucks and i like it.. quite ok la..been looking for a new pencil case for a long time, the old one is a big too big and dirty liao.

ciao...

My God's Sent Angel

This is my cutee-pie sent from god to brighten up my day!

boRed

Justing thinking if i can be there...Life should be wonderful and beautiful...

JimmY

ok.. nothing really much, blogging is regular only during my hols, but sch is gng to start next monday and the new sem timetable is ouT... i must say, it's just so horrible...
it'll be hell much busier than the last sem. but i think i'm pretty excited abt sch,but the worrying thing is that i think i'll be very lost in class..

Flipping thru Gray's Anatomy for Student txt today, and realise i had returned alot of anatomy back to Ravi.. how?
Remembering the last day of my exam, we met our manager Hua Beng who reminded us and scared us with a prelude of how Yr 2 life will be like and even reminded us to retain 5% of our role as a student role.. i guess i had almost 100% resign myself to a slacker role during the hols. So this last wk of hols, i'm trying to make up that 5% of my student role, hope i can make it before sch start, otherwise i forget that i'll have double amt of work more to do!!! argh.....

Other than flipping that txt, i went out for dinner with my mom and my sis, there was this popular clearance sale i think and so i saw this book tat i think i should try picking up...
At the start of the hols, i was reading Dave Pelzer's A man named Dave. then i'm almost completing it when i stop to play sims2, and sims2 conquered my life... haha..

Then next was VCDs and it killed my living cells reminding in my body, so i started to go running around my estate every evening.. then now.... i'm trying to regain my student role so i'm flipping txtbk.

anyway i saw this book which i said i'll pick it up.coz i realise my chinese is getting suckier and suckier and so before it all gone to nothing, i'll start to refresh it again. It's a comic book by Jimmy (you know the comic artist who did the turn left,turn right movie) and there were few chinese words here and there.. so i decided i'll read it at my free time.. keke..

And this is the book....

Anyway yesterday my daddy was so generous to give my bro a farewell dinner before he goes to taiwan for his army training, and he brought us to BoonLay Restuarant and had each a bowl of fins...( i showed this picture to kenrick and he said, what the ... is that orange soup?)

zhen says he's cute. Really?


Hang out at Esplanade, watched an outdoor performance @ On the Waterfront


This is Zhen and Me


just finished my mee soto at Lido


Met Peggy at KAP coz she's preparing for exam( oh, poorthing! )

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The Straits Times, Saturday, 8 April 2006.
Take a look at it when you are free, both educational and refreshing.

As i was flipping thru the papers this morning, i read the SATURDAY edition with care, 'cos they were talking about pallitative care, i.e. hospice care.
As i had learnt Lifespan n lifestyle development as 1 of my modules in the last sem, i got interested as the reporters reported about hospice in Singapore.
I thought this is rather educational for those who had not heard about hospice care, or didn't have the right info about hospice services.In the special report, they interviews staff in hospice care, patients, family members and even volunteers who helped out in hospice. It gave an better insight of what hospice helps this patients.. and it highlighted many points that we had missed out.
Firstly, hospice is not only for patients who are terminally ill, and definitely patients in hospice do not just wait till that day come in the hospice. Many care and support were given to these patients and family members.
In fact, 1 in 4 hospice patients walks out alive and gets to die at home.(The straits time, 2006).
In hospice, they provide pallitative care, which are not just simply medical needs, but also tend to the psychosocial, spiritual and emotional needs of the patients. They ensure that patients die in comfort and not unnecessary pain.
Next, hospice is not really a sad place to end up with, coz if you are a bacholar with no family members to take care of you when you are ill, that's a gd place that you can go, coz the staff there are caring and tries to fulfil your last wishes.( i sound like i'm promoting hospice)
"When death is inevitable and we know we can't add days to their life, we try to add life to their days." -Dr Noreen Chan, medical director of Dover Park Hospice, (The Straits Time, 2006)
It's so exciting to find out that there are many programs and events organised for these patients and some who gets better get a chance to go on outing at the zoo, or even to sentosa. Who says the only thing that the terminally ill does is to wait for the heaven gate to open.
Lastly, in one of the interview with a bedridden man who learnt how to walk in the hospice and now are back home already. Wow, it's an achievement for both the staff and the patient, and i'm proud of them.
I guess it's time for us to change our view about hospice care, and in fact we should be supportive of such services in singapore. What's more important to die in comfort and with no regrets.
What is death when you have no regrets and pain. I guess hospice is also a great place for us to learn about death and how we can overcome our fear of death and the different perspective of death. Late adulthood.... that's how it ends.
" Death in itself is not a tragedy. With every passing moment, each of us is closer to death. But if a patient dies unhappy and in pain, if families are left unsupported during this difficult period, that would be a tragedy. " - Dr Noreen Chan, medical director of Dover Park Hospice, (The Straits Time, 2006)

5th april 06

Can Life be Simple Again?
Can Life be Beautiful again?
Who can i trust now?

Dear, today is a special day, but we can't be together. Although i know you are suffering, but i know you didn't forget this day.Thank you for giving such an unbelievable chapter in my life.

曲名：雨人 歌手：周华健

好像就从那一个夜晚开始

下起雨一直没有放过晴

我勾着那把伞

漂浮在人群里

慢慢的以为身边还有你

小气的用着那些你的记忆

一点点就够我看到彩虹

全世界的颜色

全留在你那里

我只有不断一直淋着雨

我相信我爱你

蒙上眼手交给你

慢慢的安心在黑暗中

共有一双眼睛

我要不断的爱你

不断拼凑了自已

生命中所以好不好的过去

仿佛都在等我遇见你

-+= 祝天下有情人找到真爱！=+-

i can't find a reason to cry

life is just so torturous.. it's a toying of one's feeling.
it's about giving one hope,but putting it down easily too.
life can be so simple, but we can see it as a very complex thing too.
A pair of lover, going thru thick and thin together,but at the end they are seperated by a simple thing call love.
it's not easy to be in love, but it's even harder to give love. When you are so far apart, you promised that nothing will pull us about, but we just drifted away from each other everyday.Why is it so? what's that physics or chemistry behind this?
Another hope is gone, and now left with the last choice, not that i'm not happy that there is at least one last choice, but it's not a really gd choice either. What will pple say, what will my parents say?
Do i really have to care about what they say? or can i just care about how i feel?
I used to cry because i have so many reasons to cry, but today, i just can't find a reason to cry when i feel like crying out.
Suffering is part of everybodies life, but why is mine seem nv to come to an end.
i just wanna shout my misery out, just wanna cry my lungs out, and cry till my tear glands dry, but i got no reason to cry.
i want a simple life.

我要快乐

歌手: 张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍

无所谓当作成长

刚刚走开的人

烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞

却比任何人都多

就算把世界给我

我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳

有些人不抱了才温暖

离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声

心不是热的全都是假的

只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍

谢谢了伤我的人

想做乐观的人

每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞

却比任何人都多

就算把世界给我

我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳

有些人不抱了才温暖

离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声

心不是热的全都是假的

我的决定是对的

To see the chinese characters, go to [view] -> [encoding] -> [unicode (UTF-8)].

Recently i heard this while i was driving, and i really like ah-mei song, i think this songs kinda speak my heart out.listen to it if you have the chance to. i love ah-mei's voice.

come home fast

although time seems to be flying, but only 1 month had gone. I believe i had sent out 5 letters to him over these 4 weeks.
Recently there is a show about this girl having to choose between 2 guys, which she kept contact in different manners. One by snail mail and the other by email. If you are the girl, who will you choose?
Although i didn't catch any episode of the show, but if i'm the girl, i'll choose the guy with snail mail. reason being i feel the love and the distance between 2 person drawing close when i see his handwriting. By looking at his handwriting, i can see the feeling that he has went writing that letter, when i see his handwriting, i feel that he's just beside me. When i see his handwriting, i can picture him right in my head.
Many at times we tend to take things for granted, and we never come to realise how much we need each other until we are seperated. This hols had made me think and reflected. Why did i choose OT? why did i try for the scholarship? why did i miss him so much even though communications are so easily available now? Until today, some answers to my own reflection are still unknown, and i never asked myself these qns until some one stop me and pulled me aside to ask me to reflect. Thank you for your concern and it had made me think and think again.
Until now, i still don't regret coming into this course, although you keep telling me that you got no hols like uni have. But i guess the uni doesn't enjoy as much as i can enjoy during class and with my coursemates.
Recently i'm looking forward to moving to my aunt's place,even if it's just temporary. It's really convinient for me if i can move to woodlands coz it'll allow me to reduce my travelling time, which i can't complain coz i have my dear fren staying in boon lay( even further than me). But travelling had really made me sick and tired of going home sometimes. and when i reach home, i'm so tired that i don't feel like facing the books anymore. And worst of all, my room is no longer a condusive environment for me to study anymore. Why do i say that?
In the past, my granny used to travel ard and not stay permenantly at my place. So i'm still quite comfortable with her sharing a room with me. But over the past yr, she had decided to stay permenantly at my place, in other words, share room with me everyday, including public hols (which is 24/7). This really makes me feel very awkward, especially when her bed is next to my study table. When she sleeps at the bed while i'm studying at my table, i always feel that she's looking at me. Maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i believe no one likes that feeling. And because it's dark when i don't turn both lights on when i study, but one of the lights shine directly above my granny's bed, and makes her unable to sleep when i study deep into the night. Then i compensated by turning that light off and switch on my table lamp, but because my table is next to the bed, it doesn't make much of a difference. My parents ask me not to be bothered by that, and my bf mother gave me a divider to seperate the light from shining over.i tot that is much better le. but she still continue to complain to my aunt about me making noise at late night and i really feel that i'm so restricted in my own house, own room.. Oh man, do i not have privacy or not even my own space to work, sleep and be happy and contented with.
So i needed a solution, i suggested that we move to the flat after the contract with my current tenant had end, but my family strongly disagree with that. Then i said, can i change room with my bro.He agreed so readily, but still he took back his words, what a man.thinking of this incident makes my blood boils. Why is my family not understanding my situation. do anyone of them wanna try it out for themselves. Y are my aunt and my granny so unreasonable. y don't they try to put themselves into my shoe and see how it feels.
So now, i'm looking for alternatives. at first my aunt(mom's side) said i can move to her place since she has spare room and my cousin is studying overseas currently. Then they took tat offer back by giving tons of excuses that even my mom can't accept them. So now i headed to my next plan, renting a room from my bf's fren(also my fren). 2 sisters staying in a flat at woodlands. walking distance from mrt, suits me almost perfectly. But i had to await for their reply before i head to my last resort, tat would be to move out to my bf's place and stay in his room until he comes home. i didn't plan for that actually but his parents offered, if that's my last resort i'll really consider tat, unless you got better suggestions for me.
This few days, i wasn't feeling well. at the bottom corner of my heart, there is this constant pain and i keep thinking of my bf. So many things had happened while he was gone, and everytime i just wish for him to be beside me, but without fail he will send someone to talk to me. Thanks dear, if there is no you in my life, i can't imagine if i'm happier or worst now.
Memories flow back when i started to flip the old photo albums. looking at all the events that we had together and the happy times we had together. i never remember as happy until now, i'm so foolish. i'm so crazy over you. And this 2 days, i miss you even more. We don't talk as much as we used to in the past, and everynight the topic nv fails to be comforting you coz you are feeling really stress. But sometimes, i just hope to talk about some happy and lightheartened things with you. Everyday, our conversation is the same, i'm not sick of it,but it makes me feel really tired and i just feel that i got no more strength for you, coz i had put in all the strength to support you, so much so that i got no more strength to let myself be strong anymore.
I don't know what i'm talking now, but i am love sick i guess. talking to you only makes me feel so near yet so far. Esp when we chat on msn and skype, it's even worse. seeing you on the webcam gives me the urge to get a ticket and fly immediately to be there with you. i wan to give you a hug but my hands are not long enough to reach. i don't know how long more we can go, but i really hope we can go on forever. i wish for sch to start so tat i can study with you again. i wish sch to start because only when sch start i can focus my mind again on my books and not miss you so much.
Everyday i past without you by my side, everyday seems to be like a never ending tunnel, when will i come to the end of the tunnel again. Dear, come home fast... i really miss you alot.

Let me support you all the way k. i miss your smile. jia you dear.

i dunno

This is posted specially for you.

Maybe i had said things that i should not have said, maybe i had hurt you more than anyone else had ever done unto you. Maybe i should just shut up and just absorb everything you said like a sponge.Maybe i should not be here at all.

Sometimes i just don't know, what had gone over me? is my life just gng downslope from now onwards? where is my power of motivation? is it not working on you anymore? am i so not understanding and unable to feel as you suffer? where is that piece of love for you?

Everynight, i hope that we can talk about something different, but i just realise that as the days go by, the topic is just restricted to why you are suffering and why not others but you? i told you that i understand that you are very stressed up with your school work and i know it's not easy to be independent especially when you got everything taken care of when you are here. And you said i'll never understand coz i nv experience it before. ( this really hurts) am i so useless that even now, the things i said, you can't even be bothered coz you are too involved in being hurt and hurting yourself even more?

I really don't know what i should do? i really don't know if i am still able to carry on? i'm trying very hard not to give you anymore trouble. but everytime when i have a problem, you are the first one i think of.No matter good or bad, you are always the first one that i want to share that piece of news with. You said you are always there to encourage me when i have a problem (are you telling me that i nv do that for you)

i'm willing to say sorry if that's what you want to hear from me, lastly, no matter how much i said to hurt you, i just want you to be that determined and strong guy that i fall in love with, now i'm searching for him. pls ask him back.

Lastly, i still love you.gd night.The smile is missing in every picture.can you see it?

This is my prayer for all of us tonight:

Answer me when i call to you, O my righteous God.

Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.

Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you i pray. Psalm 5:1-2

Dear lord, pls help those who are suffering, regardless of the quality of life or from the illness, help those who are unable to cry to you.Help those who had cried to you and those who had spoken to you.Hope those who are eagerly waiting for a response each day, and lastly help everyone who walks in your light. Amen.

Let's talk about LOVE

In God's word, he said,


Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourself.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; i will repay," says the Lord.
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-Roman 12 : 9-21.

Do all the brothers and sisters understand this passage. Let's shower our love this month. thank god.

Happy Together!

Imagine me and you,

I doI think about you day and night, it's only right

To think about the girl you love and hold her tight

So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime

And you say you belong to me and ease my mind

Imagine how the world could be, so very fine

So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you

For all my life

When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue

For all my life

If I should call you up, invest a dime (Call you up)

And you say you belong to me and ease my mind (Ease my mind)

Imagine how the world could be, so very fine (Very fine)

So happy together (together)

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you

For all my life

When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue

For all my life [x2]

About my life (Yeah!)

Call you up

Ease my mind, Ease my mind, Ease my mind!

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you

For all my life

When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue

For all my life [x2]Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

Thank you friends, you all are just too wonderful.

misery

Viking or roller coaster? which is most suitable to describe my life now?

I guess it's Viking, at least i know there are times when roller coaster travel straight right.
My mood swings like the Vike, and i am feeling totally lost, lost in the battle, lost in direction, lost my self-esteem too. It had been a exciting 2 wks of hols, and in fact,i'm looking forward to more,but then it seems like it's time i come to a stop.

After looking at my results today, tears flooded the table in front of me. I don't know whether i'm dissapointed or full of regrets,but i must say i really tried my best already.But why did my results turn out so disgustingly.

Pple always say, you will reap what you had sow. is it always true. i doubt so. i mean, i really put in effort, even lost contacts with many friends because i'm totally busy with the hell of sch work and projects. always staying in the library, busy doing readup and all, but why still like tat. i also dunno why.it's just unexplanable to me at this moment.

i'm losing that confident i used to have, and most importantly, i'm losing the chance to excel.

it's not as if i didn't work hard at all, but it still turned out like tat.I'm not saying it's anyone fault, and even so,it's my own fault.maybe i should have tried harder when i tot i already tried my best.

Something happened at home, and something happened to myself, so i'm giving a miss to the sailing trip. I would not enjoy myself even if i go,and i'm feeling guilty if i go.so yup,i'm not gng this time. i must do better next sem and make up for my stupid mistake this time. I must also keep a clean bill of health so that i won't miss class and miss out important stuff. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.

I wanna go for Retail Therapy, anyone interested?

life is just so simple

Just that Simple Life...

finally, exam's over. holiday is here.

BUt it's just another lonely holiday without him by my side. it's god's will.We are seperated by land and water. only when i'm busy, he will be free, and vice versa.tell me what can i do.Not to go against god's will, but i just want back that kind of life, where i can enjoy myself with him. I just wanna spend time with him, after his busy schedule. Somehow, we always see the busy side of one another that we are starting to forget those enjoyable moment that we had together. haiz.

nothing much this hols, but i'm all ready for the coming sailing trip with my friends. i'm sure it's gonna be exciting, hope the sea will be just calm and smooth so that we don't get sea sick and start to pollute the sea. It's a trip out to South China sea. Gng to conquer a little isles at the heart of south china sea. Guess i'll just more picture to explain the beautiful paradise.

As for him, i hope he'll do well this sem, just like next sem. However, i hope he has less problems and a smoother journey this sem, and hopefully he come home soon.

tat's all folks. take care~

life is just so simple

i love you too... hope you are doing well over there.

happy holidays!

the 2006

finally a year had gone passed.
i had listed my new year resolution:
1) concentrate fully on my studies.
2) i hope to spend more time with my family
3) i wish everyone's health to be pink
4) i wish to discover my hidden self
5) i hope to maintain this long term relationship

anyway year 2005 had passed so excitingly, and i guess it's been the year that i had travelled the most.Let's recap.
the happiest moment i had in 2005: i guess it would be when i celebrated my birthday with him and of course the time we spent alone in brisbane.(an unforgettable memory that's still fresh in my mind)
the most reliving moment in 2005: that's definitely after i receive my A's result.then it's when i got into my dream course (Occupational Therapy)
the most self fulfiling moment in 2005: i successfully pursuaded my parents for their approval to let me travel on my own.
the saddest moment in 2005: the moment at the airport on the 12th of July. the very moment that he entered that departure gate.
the stupidest thing i did in 2005: there's too many to list. but i guess it would be to let him go that night.
the biggest achievement i had in 2005: i passed my sem1 fairly well and i would definitely wanna do better this sem.
the biggest dilemma in 2005: to further my studies in aust or locally. but i chose this place, coz this is where i grew up from. this is where my supports are. this is where i think i can study happily.
the last movie i watched in 2005: Harry Potter
the last of the last in 2005: the last MHMB band concert. I just miss that bunch of pple. i just miss the conductor. i just miss the smell of that room.i just miss everything that we did together.

tell me this coming year is going to be more ups and downs. prepare me for the worst to come. pray for everyone and me that we can have a happy ending.

It's all god's plan. I hope mine is a smooth journey with the minimal hurdles.
I had a hard time in 2005. i had a hard time trying my best to let it go. i had tried my best to stand by myself. i think i had did it!
Year 2006, way to go!

all i want for christmas is you..

i can feel it coming.that bad omen..

blogging on christmas night makes me feel all alone again.

although i spent a day with him, i don't feel his presence.

although i got to see him the whole day, i felt that i only see him for a few hours.

where had he gone..

shakespears once said, life is nothing but a dream, a play on the stage.

We are all actors of our life, we can be the director of our life too, issit it?

This is a christmas which i hope never comes, or should i say that i hope it'll be over in the next minute. It was a christmas that i nv looked forward too...

some one asked if the feeling had fade, i really dunno how to answer that question. i had been asking myself tat same qn, but i still can't find the answer...

Things just seem to be changing,for the better or for the worse...

i can't find myself..

i'm leaving a question mark here.. can someone fill it in for me.

i'm tired of my style of living, it's getting draggy and torturous.

Merry X'mas to all my friends, and i wish you all happy and merry always.

2 wks of sch.

HectiC is all i can Say...
This is my Simple Plan..

LLD PBL presentation - to be completed by 16Nov.(tentative)
Research Method Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)
Lower Limb Anatomy Practical Test - Wk 7 (must start memorising this weekend)
Physiology ICA test - Wk 8 ( just pay attention to param)
Communication Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)

Alot of required reading to do, must find out more about orthopaedic and OT stuff to prepare for Clinicals.

Must draw up Clinical Learning Objective. Must start now. I don't know where to start. How?

Totally Lost now..

I just miss those moments.

i'm really going home this time

Time just flies... do they have wings?

Another week had passed,this sat,i'm really gng to leave on the jet plane, away frm this land of his and mine,back to the lonely island and back to my life of studying.

It's not that i hate going back to school,in fact i'm looking forward to monday when school starts,when i have to wait for another 15mins before hannah appears in front of me late again.

but i hate to leave this place(or our paradise),hate to leave him alone,hate to leave him so faraway that i can't hug him to cry again.

I just hope that my another week of stay had helped him in many ways,accompanying him to lectures and tutorial was interesting,at the same time,it exercises my brain too,so i'm not so slow and retarded when sch begins again.Accompanying him ard to search for material for his project was fun and not tiring at all.Seeing him progress in his project,and coming to a completion of his project gave myself a weird sense of achievement,which i can't describe that feeling either..it's just that weird feeling.

Although i can't stay any longer to see him thru his exams,i will still be supporting him from faraway and awaiting for him to return home to be by myside too.

My stay here had made me realised that he's a changed person now,not as optimistic as before,but overall he's become a better man.Just learnt to see this is a darker angle,maybe it's just me,coz i am not forced into such environment like he is now,so i'm not able to stand in his viewpoint at times.

This week we explored more places and even had chance to hop onto the train system of Brisbane.Thinking that it's not so backwards here,i just i was alittle wrong. All PA systems are manually operated,not pre-recorded okie,just like u are boarding a plane.Then u think the door should open on its own,but nope,u got to pull the lever of the door to get in if no one alight frm that cabin.how cool can that be... i din even noe till my fren told me abt that.

at the train station of chinatown.

I'm Going home tomorrow.bye.

The feeling is back.

Just as everything ''seems'' fine,and fitting in nicely again,it's almost time for us to part again.
We thought we will be able to take it lightly,but we just can't bear to part again.It's so painful..

Seeing him cry infront of me everynight pinches my heart,the pain pierces through me and blood oozed out from everywhere.That is the only thing to describe me now.

He said,'Can you don't go back?'

Although i replied practically that i Can't,but how i wish i can...

How i wish i can vanish into the thin air and surround you all the thing,watch of you and bless you.

It might have been a mistake in the first place for me to be here.Obviously,my presence had not make you become better,and worse of all,you seem to be more and more tensed up.

Since the day i'm here,i never see you smile,i only wipe your tears for you.Every trip out seems enjoyable and fun,but deep in my heart,i know jolly well that you are not enjoying yourself at all.I can't capture your smile in any photograph,not a moment in the time we spent together.Had i brought you more misery than joy?

Maybe only after i leave this place,then you can be happy and be yourself again.Maybe i had tried too hard to change who you are,but i really hate this you...

i don't know what i can do.i just hope you can talk to me and share with me your problems.I'll be leaving soon,i hope we can seize this opportunity tat we are together.

"You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love."

story bridge in Brisbane

Look at how magnificient this bridge is..it just blows me off...

Another look of the Story bridge.Somehow it just reminds me of a small london bridge.haha

Streets Beach,South Bank

This is where i wanna go later.i hope i can make it there.. hahah

Signing off.. good night

My trip to Indooroopilly

Currency Conversion:

AUS$1.00 = S$1.39

today i travelled to indooroopilly shopping centre on my own.This is the first time since i came over,taking a bus(public transport) on my own without him by myside and gng to somewhere i nv been and seen before.

But the whole journey to and back was so exciting.

the journey started out frm Uni of Queensland,and end at the doorstep of Indooroopilly shopping centre.

The night before i checked online the bus route to take.So today,i acc him to the uni,and while he was busy in the lab,i made my trip to indooroopilly SC and explored tat place all by myself.

ok, so at ard 1.30pm,i hopped onto bus 428 at Uni of Queensland bus stop A,and i doubled confirm with the bus driver tat that is the bus which i'm suppose to get on,(just incase the info in the net is not accurate).ok, so i sat by myself,listening to my mp3 on the way there,and keeping a lookout of the road names, to assure myself again that i'm on the right track.okie,cool.saw many different patterns of houses on my way to indooroopilly.

'coz the stop tat i'm suppose to get off at is a interchange,so it was easy for me, i just got to follow everyone and alight at that stop.

okie when i first step into the SC,i remember the shop tat i first saw(banks,and food court)so that i'll be able to get back to the same spot to get the bus back to Uni of Queensland.

So systematically i explored indooroopillySC,there were abt 4 levels and many boutique there.So i bought sweets,erm,a blouse which is below AUS$20,i mean tat whole shop sells everything below AUS$20.Then i shopped ard,and soon it was abt 5pm le,shops are abt to close,(tat's the bad thing abt touring aussie,shop close early).Anyway so i trace back my track and went back to the bus interchange,got onto 428 which goes back to Uni of Queensland to meet him.

The trip back was only abt 20mins,knowing tat he'll still be busy at the lab,i explored the uni on my own,and luckily for my streetwise,i found my way to the lab,looking thru the window,i saw him working conscienously on his project,so i dint wanna disturb him or make him stop his work halfway just to acc me.So i went to the nearby lake for a walk by myself.Looking at the cranes and birds at the lake,the carefree-ness of these little creature,i could feel what the lonely soul of him is gng thru.but i can only be here temporarily to unload his unhappiness.Soon we will be parted again,but i hope this time it'll be better for the both of us.I can't imagine how it'll be like,and i dont dare to imagine too.i'll let nature take its course and see how things are gng to be after tat.For now i just wanna help him as much as i can,to help him feel better,and hopefully he knows tat i'll always be there for him, no matter now or later, in aus or back in Singapore.

oh yar, because i knw he's facing alot of problems lately,and i also dunno when i became so superstitious,i bought him a tailsmen(frm the ancient egypt) for obstacles of life,and hopefully tat will guide him, and protect him thru.I just hope for the better and i wish him good luck.

Anyway it is late night in CITY today,so we went to city for dinner and just to relax himself.now back in his room,working very hard on his project again,and because i knw nuts abt electricity,i can only sit beside him and look at what he's doing.i dunno if tat is considered helping anot.haha.

I had Donut King today

Today i had Donut King for Lunch, it's kinda like dunkin' donut in malaysia, but this one come in many shapes and sizes,we also went to supermart to get stuff to cook for tuesday dinner.Although we only went out for a short while,but i guess it's relaxing ba.Anyway then we found this place where we can take see the brisbane river.so we took a few photos there on our way hm.haha.

signing out.buaiz

I'm in Brisbane now.

I had flown in a plane for 6.5hrs frm singapore all the way to brisbane to meet him.Although the journey here was tough,but when i finally met him later in the morning everything seem worthwhile.
On the plane, i was sitting between 2 ang mohs, one can't slp and the other slping like a pig(snoring somemore). So like u have expected, i can't slp too.Luckily, this small little screen infront of me accompanied me thru my journey.I ate the most disgusting supper(Baked salmon with mashed potatoes) and proceed to watch the latest in house movie,the longest Yard.I would say the movie was good.Then after that show, i watch Mr and Mrs Jones by Bratt pitt and Angelina Jones.Erm, i guess these are the most expensive movie i'll be catching this yr ba.Anyway after tat i wanted to watch CSI which Qantas preview too, but i guess i'll surely fall aslp after tat, so i watched something comedy called the The Britan.I was suppose to laugh but the joke was too cold and too lame that i can't laugh man. Anyway then i still couldn't slp coz the plane is too dry, and i feel that my nose is gng to drop off soon, so i requested for many cups of ice water.And also because the guy beside me keep gng up and down the seat, i knw i have many opportunity to go to the toilet.haha..
Soon, after playing a few games on nintendo, i was abt to fall aslp, then they say it's breakfast time.Haha.. The Breakfast was super lousy.They only provided a crossiant with Raisins (cold and chewy), and a cup of tea lo. then shortly we embarked at Brisbane International Airport and my senior was there to recep me, so i wasn't a lost sheep.Luckily, she's free in that morning,or i'll have to flag a cab back to his place.
Anyway, we didn't really plan where to go,so most of the time we went shopping,in city and at a suburb shopping center Toowong.And today we went to Sch sport to play badminton with 2 other frens.Had alot of fun,but after tat he felt he nv study much today,so now we are in his room studying now.while i'm here blogging and acc him.
Leaving you with some of the photos tat we took yesterday at brisbane river and At Queen St Mall.

where am i nw?

i think every1 is as eager as me to knw whether i pass my driving test right,okie, i flunt it.it was horrible,i tot i was okie actually.but anyway,it doesn't really matter to me whether i pass at which attempt.Anyway for ur info,it's only my first attempt.

As many should know by nw,i'm flying off in another 5 days time.This time,it's a tour and holiday break for me.An expensive one,but anyway i'll be on my own.I mean really on my own,without a tour group,without my friends with me,until i touch down in aust.Till now, i still have no regrets of making the decision of going over.Everytime when i need him by his side,he's always there for me,knowing him well enough(although only he can tell me whether i knw him well),this time round,it should be by turn to be by his side when he needs me. Since we were together, he never requested me to do anything for him, he nv expects me to sacrify anything for him.So i feel that this time, i should really do something for him.

From this experience of his, i really see that to be independent is really very difficult,and no one can be an individual in this world,that's why i always think friendster had made itself significant.We need each other's support and encouragement to survive in this cruel reality.Without him by my side this 2 years, i really can't image what i'll be like now.Somehow, i always say i won't change because of him,but i believe many of you who read this will know that i'm a changed person now.The tom boyish in me is almost gone, and the most drastic change is I'm not as strong as i used to be.Telling others that i can be independent without him ard is a lie, without him,i realised how much he had helped me this 2 yrs.Make me realise how dependent i'm on him.

Looking forward to seeing him next thursday morning.I'm trying to imagine our first reaction,will it be a hug?or tears all over our cheeks?or nothing at all?i'm really not sure.i don't dare to ask him, i don't dare to disturb him, i don't even dare to talk to him this few days,coz everytime we talk, he cries to me.Hearing him crying out his heart,pinches my heart too..It is a suffering to him, as well as to me.Although i try my best to comfort him.i always fail.I guess that's why his turning to his dad now.I'm such a useless girlfriend,can't offer him the love and care that he need from me.i'm writing all this up here,i guess coz i got no one to turn to..

Luckily i still have a buddy with me who is always ready to hear me out when i need.Thanks for asking me out on wednesday,just to relax ourselves and to catch up with each other again.Next week u'll be doing your SISPEC recourse,so i wish you all the best.I'll be away for a while, don't miss me too much.And hopefully u can hop over to OCS k!

I'm a lost sheep nw,waiting for god's guidance.I need to see that light again.Absence makes the heart fonder, then maybe that fonder heart will subside after a peak.
Today he shared this with me,given to him by his little cousin.It says ''Forever Love'',will it really be forever love? I don't know.I'm so lost,i hate this feeling... god!help Me....

Results oh results.

wEeh.. i tot i can't fall slp last night. but i was really damn tired frm the walking ard town, so i fall aslp almost immediately.As usual, my dear always feel lousy after his paper, so i had to comfort him.i talked him out, hoping there he will feel better after that.but even till this morning he still tells me he got that lousy feeling abt himself. anyway i can see that uni life i really stressful, when u are all alone overseas, and your teammates are not co-operative, and yet you are still having alot of problem with the project. haiz, i think that's the worst senario anyone can come to right?
Wadever it is i hope he'll be ok soon..and hope he can hang in there, coz in just 1 more week, i'll be there to acc him le.Although it is temporary, but i still hope it will help him.
This morning, i can finally review my results frm the e-service. Okie, and this is how it goes.
Frm the very end of the exams, i keep telling myself as long as there is no Sub, it doesn't matter what shitty grades i get. As long as there is no subs. I pray to god everyday hoping that i'll be happy on the day i receive my grades.
Okie, then just before i woke up, i don't know what kind of brainwave was that, but i had a dream.Haha. and i dream tat i'm the only one in the class to receive a Distinction!! wow. so proud. then i woke up, haha it was only in my dream. Maybe the msg frm god was, hey dream on girl.. u think u so good.
Okie, so i turn on the comp eagerly to knw my results.then i had this



yup, so tat's exactly the same thing that i see. Okie problem is i should be happy right.coz my prayer is answered, and i should thank god.but somehow, i'm abit greedy here.
i'm starting to question myself, did i really work hard enough? erm, do i deserve better great than this? erm, should i have done this and done tat.. haiz.
okok i guess human being human, always expect more that what is given.I mean the more more the merrier right.But is that right? i also don't knw.
But i kinda had come to a conclusion, i should be happy, and satisfied with what i've got, coz this is the result of my hard work.
I must always bear this in mind, i'm not smart, i'm purely hardworking.
So don't blame ourselves for not having a high voltage brain power, but we have a powerful determination, and i guess that is more important. The determination to do well, will definitely rule out those who are smart by nature, but lazy and lack of determination.
Having said enough, i shall stop here.
I'm flying off to Brisbane to be with my dear in 1 wks time.So dear, hang on k.

Today is your birthday, i guess it's lonely and boring ba.

this is specially arranged for you.Hope you'll like it. Sorry i can't be there with you today to spend your birthday with you, neither am i home to 'acc' you while you are working hard alone over there.But all the hard work will be paid off, that's what we always believe right.Too suffer nw, means we can enjoy later.I'll be joining you soon, in just abt a weeks time, hope you can endure abit more.I'm as excited as you are abt my trip over to brisbane. But for now, i still have something else to worry abt... so yups, all the best for your tml paper okie. Last one to go. Good Luck. I miss you everyday.

busy busy september??

hi all,

Yeah finally exams over,but result will only be released on the 15th Sept,and of coz, hope everything goes smooth,as long as I don't have to take sub-paper,i'll be happy le.

Let's see what i'm doing since holiday started..

On the 29th Aug, Went to sentosa for Attacks of The Otties,a get together with the yr 1 and yr 2.Had lotsa fun, actually it's like amazing race,but then erm, some cock up here and there,but overall great job to the yr 2 coz they are the one who made this outing possible..And the biggest joke of the day was, no one expected me to be the last to arrive,yet i'm the last!! haha..

On the 30th to 1Sept, I spent my day at Pasir Ris chalet with my class.. Thanks to elaine who booked that big bungalow,which i tot was quite scary on the first nite,coz i had to spent my night in that big room with eunice only.But great mahjong session too.Haven't touch the tiles since erm, dont know when.. but that 2 days i think i touch enough tiles le. Oh, preparing for the bbq, and the shopping trip with abi and wanying, plotting wanying all the way to make her decided on something was kinda tiring too..keke.. But overall the bbq was great,and thanks joseph for that special performance(magic aka con show),i think the class had lotsa fun...


Oh, and not forgetting that salivating cheesecake by josephine and elaine.Keke..

After that chalet, you are pratically too exhausted to do anything, everybodies drag their dead body home and slept thru the day i guess..

On 2nd Sept, I proceed for my first driving revision lesson.It was erm, how should i put it? horrible? okie lor? or what.. anyway i guess the 3 conductors are really confusing me up now,and i guess the rest of my revision lesson,i'll just be driving my own style ba.If i gng to fail the test also nvm,doesn't really matter for me,but of coz everyone hope to pass the first time right.So i'll just try my best keke. Nothing interesting in driving lesson,coz the instructor sucks, eat my money, waste my time, half way thru ask me to pull over for him to go toilet, still blame say i too jerky.What's his bloody problem.Nvm, if i pass first time, i'll complain him until siao.haha..

On weekend, supposed to be spent at home, but somehow i think i went out with my parents to town, walk ard, eat lunch in maxwell market,long time nv go there liao. But we had all the delicacy there. so i think i'm growing fat...

Then another week started again, I volunteered to help abi out at the MCYC student care centre. Haha , believe it out or, a pri 4 kid can tell me, 'you are very Lame!'So stunned by his words, i said,''Lame means cannot walk''.. hahha.. can't believe it.Frm that visit, it reminds me of my JC days, when my class volunteered to take care of a bunch of kids for a day, and even invited them to SA and had games with them.Fun, yet tiring, coz some kids just don't co-operate and gives you attitude problem.Same thing at the centre,they are just pri sch kids, and yet they use vulgur language free flowingly (if there is such term).. u know what i mean..But i had lotsa fun teaching this kid chinese spelling.Then i ask him when is his spelling test, he said he don't know,so i say isn't it silly to study so early, coz a few days later,you'll forget all the words again le,I mean it's true right, i always study spelling just before i go for it, so that it's all fresh in my head. haha..Then he told me not to curse him.keke.. i tot i'm just being frank.Anyway, wadever...

tuesday i went for driving lesson again, so that i can go help the kids to fly kite at West Coast Park today. tuesday lesson equally sian, so i don't wanna talk abt it le.. Oh yar, i went swimming under that bloody hot sun on monday afternoon, and leave me with that ugly tanline.yucks!! but hack lar,who cares. So after lesson, i wanted to wait for my mom to finish work, but it's too much a chore, so i roam ard west mall and IMM. in the end i got myself some clothes and some presents too.Ok then i was thinking what should i get for my bf,who will be spending his birthday alone,and somemore the next day got exam.Hope miserable right,haiz but no choice lar.So i walked and walked but din't see anything in mind.So i went home not getting anything for him.

So wednesday, nothing to do, decided to start running, and since then i have been running everyday.Running ard the estate can be quite fun too, go ard seeing new houses that had been rebuilt,and run ard the park with kids kicking soccer on the field.remind me of my childhood days.

Today i had a great time at West Coast Park with Abi, and all the kids.I mean, although the kites just can't fly no matter how hard we tried,or no.. i should say the children tried. and then in the end they all like quite sian diao, then play ball game, lastly go playground.But i guess the best part for them is the food.. Mchicken burger.haha.

Had alot of thoughts this week,maybe because he is feeling very depressed and miserable over there too.I don't know what else i can do for him already,other than just sitting down here and listen to him.I tot i'm understanding enough of his situation,i tot i gave him enough opinions to consider, but things doesn't seem to be getting better.But i only seem to lose him more and more each day.I guess they are right, study overseas makes u see alot of things, and change u into another person too..But they nv say whether it's better or for the worst. haha.. but gng overseas in the end make a person lose his confidence and interest in other things in life, is that a good thing or a bad thing.i also don't know what to say le.

Anyway i had to be much stronger than him now,so that only i have to worry for him and not having him to worry for me.As he thinks that i'm enjoying my hols here, actually i'm trying very hard to understand his stats too, so that somehow i can help him alittle.but that bloody stats is really difficult.so different frm what i have in my math notes.but i'm sourcing out.So anyone who have knowledge of stats for engineering can share with me.I hope he gets better each day, but everyday our conversation get repeated again and again, our topics nv leave that misery,tell me how am i suppose to help him, i'm getting miserable too.haha(fake laugh)

Anyway in another 2 more weeks i'll be out of town, i guess you all can deduce where i'll be.Yar, i'm flying over to meet him, to shower my love on him, and of coz hopefully to make him more at ease over there..After so long, he still can't settle down, then there is really something wrong.so my this visit is to go find out more why he's not ok.and try to cure him.I pray that he can do well for his papers and of coz after tat all his project will be smooth sailing le. No more hiccups, no more hurdles equals no more worries.

take care pple.i'll be back on the 8th Oct.Till then, see you.

Two more weeks to a well deserved break

time really past fast, it's coming to an end of a semestral, looking aback at the first time i met my classmates..haha.what a joke.anyway, i'll be having my exams in the coming 2 weeks, and after that i'll be having my semestral break for 1.5months.Wohaha...

Kenrick had left singapore for a month le,although we try to talk to each other everyday,but i still miss him alot.The feeling of being apart is torturous,when i thought i can go through it, when i thought i'll be strong, but it's really difficult. Time does pass fast looking back at it now,but when i was in that shit, time was slower than snail's crawling i would say.

Anyway now i'm putting all my mind into my exams, of coz i hope to do well, and i'm telling myself that i would.haha. i will try not to be distracted, but some of you will knw it's impossible coz i'll still think of him.haha..

Whatever it is, nothing special or big is happening in my life,just plainly preparing for exams... okok.. Take care friends