misery

Viking or roller coaster? which is most suitable to describe my life now?

I guess it's Viking, at least i know there are times when roller coaster travel straight right.
My mood swings like the Vike, and i am feeling totally lost, lost in the battle, lost in direction, lost my self-esteem too. It had been a exciting 2 wks of hols, and in fact,i'm looking forward to more,but then it seems like it's time i come to a stop.

After looking at my results today, tears flooded the table in front of me. I don't know whether i'm dissapointed or full of regrets,but i must say i really tried my best already.But why did my results turn out so disgustingly.

Pple always say, you will reap what you had sow. is it always true. i doubt so. i mean, i really put in effort, even lost contacts with many friends because i'm totally busy with the hell of sch work and projects. always staying in the library, busy doing readup and all, but why still like tat. i also dunno why.it's just unexplanable to me at this moment.

i'm losing that confident i used to have, and most importantly, i'm losing the chance to excel.

it's not as if i didn't work hard at all, but it still turned out like tat.I'm not saying it's anyone fault, and even so,it's my own fault.maybe i should have tried harder when i tot i already tried my best.

Something happened at home, and something happened to myself, so i'm giving a miss to the sailing trip. I would not enjoy myself even if i go,and i'm feeling guilty if i go.so yup,i'm not gng this time. i must do better next sem and make up for my stupid mistake this time. I must also keep a clean bill of health so that i won't miss class and miss out important stuff. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.

I wanna go for Retail Therapy, anyone interested?