where am i nw?

i think every1 is as eager as me to knw whether i pass my driving test right,okie, i flunt it.it was horrible,i tot i was okie actually.but anyway,it doesn't really matter to me whether i pass at which attempt.Anyway for ur info,it's only my first attempt.

As many should know by nw,i'm flying off in another 5 days time.This time,it's a tour and holiday break for me.An expensive one,but anyway i'll be on my own.I mean really on my own,without a tour group,without my friends with me,until i touch down in aust.Till now, i still have no regrets of making the decision of going over.Everytime when i need him by his side,he's always there for me,knowing him well enough(although only he can tell me whether i knw him well),this time round,it should be by turn to be by his side when he needs me. Since we were together, he never requested me to do anything for him, he nv expects me to sacrify anything for him.So i feel that this time, i should really do something for him.

From this experience of his, i really see that to be independent is really very difficult,and no one can be an individual in this world,that's why i always think friendster had made itself significant.We need each other's support and encouragement to survive in this cruel reality.Without him by my side this 2 years, i really can't image what i'll be like now.Somehow, i always say i won't change because of him,but i believe many of you who read this will know that i'm a changed person now.The tom boyish in me is almost gone, and the most drastic change is I'm not as strong as i used to be.Telling others that i can be independent without him ard is a lie, without him,i realised how much he had helped me this 2 yrs.Make me realise how dependent i'm on him.

Looking forward to seeing him next thursday morning.I'm trying to imagine our first reaction,will it be a hug?or tears all over our cheeks?or nothing at all?i'm really not sure.i don't dare to ask him, i don't dare to disturb him, i don't even dare to talk to him this few days,coz everytime we talk, he cries to me.Hearing him crying out his heart,pinches my heart too..It is a suffering to him, as well as to me.Although i try my best to comfort him.i always fail.I guess that's why his turning to his dad now.I'm such a useless girlfriend,can't offer him the love and care that he need from me.i'm writing all this up here,i guess coz i got no one to turn to..

Luckily i still have a buddy with me who is always ready to hear me out when i need.Thanks for asking me out on wednesday,just to relax ourselves and to catch up with each other again.Next week u'll be doing your SISPEC recourse,so i wish you all the best.I'll be away for a while, don't miss me too much.And hopefully u can hop over to OCS k!

I'm a lost sheep nw,waiting for god's guidance.I need to see that light again.Absence makes the heart fonder, then maybe that fonder heart will subside after a peak.
Today he shared this with me,given to him by his little cousin.It says ''Forever Love'',will it really be forever love? I don't know.I'm so lost,i hate this feeling... god!help Me....