NEGATIVITY

You know how sometimes you just wanna check out your friend's blog to see how they are doing, because you felt so ashame that you have not been catching up with them after such a long time, with all the excuses that you are busy to shoo your friend away. I think i'm one of them.

After flipping thru the blogs of my friends, all i can say is everyone seems to be having different times of the year. Some are happy, some are sad. Some are just waiting for their happy moments to come, while some are foreseeing their sad moment arriving.

All i can say is i'm guilty of neglecting my friends for the past 2 years. All the time, i had been using busy with school as an excuse to turn down meetings with my friends. But the fact was I spent most of the time at home, not all the time mugging. I also can't remember when was the last time I did something meaningful.

Today i read about the problems that my friends are facing, then it made me realise that my problem which i thought was the end of the word is so minute compared to the problems that my friends are facing. And why am I making a big fuss out of small things. Am I just not aware how fortunate I already am compared to many others.

From this attachment I had really learnt alot, and had totally changed my perspective about life. How fragile life can be, how a fever and a insensitive person can change the whole life of a little innocent one. How things can change overnight, or even how much hard work can really change fate.

Although Kenrick had returned to australia to complete his last semester of studies, i still miss him, and of cos i still hate to look at his backview leaving me further and further away. But what is that compared someone not being able to withstand a long distance relationship. I should be considered lucky right.

Although I know grandpa's health is deteriorating, but he's still smily, going out everyday on his two own feet, and what is that compared to my friend who's grandfather not able to walk on his own anymore. I should be glad that god had been blessing us right, even though i lost my grandma just a few months ago.

Some nights i still miss grandma. For the past 2 days i was on MC due to a virus attack. Coughing, sneezing through out the night. Then grandma was the person i thought of when i woke up in the middle of the night. She used to be the one coughing thru the night when i was sharing the same room with her. Now i kinda miss her cough. When i'm ill, she'll definitely asked me if i'm feeling better alr. She was the one who will wake up in the middle of the night, make sure my blanket is on and turn off the aircon if it's too cold. But I'm so ashamed of myself, I never said thanks to her before.

Being sick let me reflect alot on myself, being on this attachment let me reflect alot about life. Being alone in this world, make me realise how important friends are. Being afraid of loniless makes me wanna find my friends again.

So dear friends, can I be your friend again?