So much to reflect on.

Last 3 days to 2008. Ask if i had achieved the resolutions set for 2007?

I really dont know, or in fact i can't remember. 2007 came? and it's leaving soon. oh that thought of how time had zoom pass me is scary. that's all i remembered.

Reflecting on the past year, many things around me had changed. there were new borns in the family. there were people that leave us. There were uncles whom used to be distanced, had become closer, there was uncle who supposed to be uncle but are now becoming strangers.

A trip to Penang, seeing the closeness of family ties even when they were seperated in land, how come it's so hard to find in singapore when we are merely seperated by drains and roads. It just makes me reflect what makes my family member not to treasure such an important relationship that money can't buy. Why is money always the root of problems.

A busy year in 2007 didn't gave me much time to think. It was all about doing. FYP, 2 months of attachment, assignments, musical involvement. No time for marathon, no time for fun no time for friends and family.

the first grandma death ani everyone gathered at my house. we prayed together as a family. How many of grandma death ani will everyone in the family remember and initiate to pray? will the next ani be the same, or will they just slowly forget her. till today her face remains vividly in my mind. all the happenings on the day that she passed away remains in my head, maybe that day will never be forgotten.

Progress of FYP had its up and down too. Nothing much to say, just hope that it'll all end soon. One year is just too long, already losing the interest and motivation to work on it anymore.

Models assignment is driving me crazy. Reflection is driving me nuts. Portfolio is a complete waste of my time too.

Sometimes the mixed feeling comes over me when i think about 2008, then i hope 2007 does go. Yet, if 2007 stays, i'll be stuck with all the models and portfolio assignment which i'm really dreading to complete them.

I just wanna have plain classes like (Quiz) and (flower biscuit) lessons. Those memories of open no., having class on the field and in the pool, having class in the lab where you can choose to sit anywhere you like. Just lesson without exams is fine with me.

I'll always miss my OT student life. It's really a major life changing event of my life.

3 years of OT student life will be ending soon, seems like yesterday i just collected my As results.hahaha...

I just wanna go on holiday now...

Thanks for the FUN!

From A Slice of Life

A meaningful message to share with all.

Afterall, it's coming to the end of the yr again. All misunderstanding should be resolved, forgive and forgotten. There should not be any begrudges against anything. All shall be resolved.

It's all easier said than done, and i'm trying to do that best.

It's a reminder to love your neighbours, and your enemies like how god had showered his love upon us. Christ Born to redeem us from our sins. We must learn to treasure it.

Christmas is a time of sharing and Giving. So a little message for all of you.

Three Principles for Fulfilling Relationships

There are three principles that we should understand well before committing to any romantic relationship. If you're already in a relationship, studying these principles intimately and practicing them will help ensure a lasting, satisfying relationship.

Unrealistic expectations are usually what drive a couple apart, so the first principle to understand is that your partner does not owe you your happiness. This may sound strange because why else would we want to enter relationships if not to find happiness?

Sure, we should derive joy from our relationships but our partner should not bear the duty of giving us joy. Joy should be the spontaneous consequence of two people sharing feelings of love for each other, not the result of one party constantly striving to fulfill the other's needs. When we expect our partner to make us happy, we set up opportunities for failure, and each time our partner fails to meet our demands, we lose respect and affection for him or her. Besides, love doesn't mean consistently giving in to our demands. And love doesn't mean always making us happy. What gives our joy may not always be in our best interests. And love can sometimes mean hardship and pain.

The second principle for fulfilling relationships is to love your partner for who they are. Don't love a fantasy version of them you hope will emerge in the future. Many people enter a relationship thinking that in time, their partners will change, but this often doesn't happen. Your partner entered the relationship believing that this is what you fell in love with. He or she doesn't see any reason to change.

Loving your partner for who they are also means accepting their flaws, or what you deem to be flaws. Each person has attractive qualities as well as some habits or characteristics we may not find so beguiling. But we should love our partners in spite of the qualities we don't appreciate as much as the others. There is no perfect lover, like there is no perfect gadget. You're always going to have to trade off certain features for other ones you find more suited to you. And when you run into conflict over those undesirable features, your love for the whole product should be more than enough to make you overlook the flaws and still embrace your partner. So ask yourself "If my partner upsets me, will I be able to look past the words and actions and still love the person?"

The third and final principle is to love and respect yourself as much as you love and respect your partner. This is because if you feel inadequate compared to your partner, you might become obsessed with fulfilling his or her needs and neglect your own. Over time, your partner will learn to take you for granted and you will no doubt begin to feel like you got the short end of the stick.
Maintaining fulfilling relationships is no easy job, but understanding and practising these three principles should help you a great deal.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit 'Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.

Joy to The World

I know i shouldn't be blogging here and now, but i just want typed out all the joy and fun time i had over the weekends which i felt i had not had for a long long time.

Even though it's the busiest semester i ever had in my entire study life, but nonetheless, i managed to squeeze time out to have my well deserved break.

Over the weekend, i told myself to start working on my literature review so i won't have to do last minute work again. So all readings started on friday and lasted thru out the break.

Went to SiTeX @ Expo, got a Christmas gift from Kenrick. My new and powerful digicam. and then to John Little Mega Sale and both of us came home with a good bargain.

Saturday, even though i decided to stay home to do more readings, i nv thought i would end up in east coast park with my rollerblades on again. It's been ages since i last skate around in the park. When i said ages, it's really ages, since sec 2 i think. I had the best time of reminising on my blades. Oh how i used to blade around my estates with my friends when we were in pri 6, and how we tried to teach others to blade.

Sunday, is the day that god had made. Praise the Lord Day! ok, band friend Philip had a surgery in hospital, so one man down in the band. But we continued to pray for him. Then after lunch, it was singing practice, singing into christmas was a joy. Totally exciting i must say. Last time we say as a big group in church was for the Jesus Folk Musical, and now we are preparing carols for Christmas!!! " Come all ye faithful, la la lala la la..."

In the evening after more reading, had a fun time in the park playing Frisbee with kenrick. And then we headed for the gym for more workout before we had a warm and healthy steamboat dinner with his family.

whaT an accomplished weekend i had. and i yearn for more of such weekends. will they come soon?

On a Tuesday in School

Kampong Glam 171107

life sucks

I want to officially Annouce this:

LIFE SUCKS

Give me a life without worries. Without woes.

Just joy so i don't have to worry about unneccessary things.

Aren't i busy enough alr.

SCREWED UP!!

Life is just so screwed up with all the changes in timetable. And now for the bloody 6 credit points, i have to sacrifice a module tutorial for the sake of the interview. Why am I putting in so much effort and exchanging for so little in return?

Or should i not be asking for what i get in return and just GIVE. But reality is not just about giving without taking.

I hate REFLECTING on my own life.

Why mess up the bloody timetable?? And worse of all, none of the members in the group heard that. We didn't miss that out. We were rather SURE.. but why still we missed it..

Haiz. God's arrangement. FATED.

I defeat LOST.

Last Lap of the Chapter

Nat and my mommy, on her way to her Ballet Session. And Nat with her new Alligator Float.

Nat is cool now, she just jumps into the water and swim. She invented her 'shark-style' too.

I only know what's frog-style.

Joraine, went to her grandma house and gave Joraine her little red shoes.

That's the little cap that i bought for her. Look at her fat legs.

First weekend of school term, busy busy busy playing.

Still heart not settled for books and all. but i'll do soon.i must i mean.

Sunday at church, talking about no discrimination against other religions, other culture and races.

haha.. then i'm a lousy christian.Friends who knows me, i always crapping about other races and colours, so from god's word, learn to love your neighbours like how you love yourself. Go do likewise what i had done upon you, and do upon others.

oh dear, i think i'll get karma soon. but anyway, till that day come, i have told myself that i'll stop. and hopefully i do stop joking about them.

First day of 2nd week, chaotic.

woke up late, thinking it's a sunday. raining, traffic jamming, running late for class with an empty stomach, forgot my book and anything bad that you can think of. but my lecturer was just as late, so i got thru that. phew!!!

Went to amk central to get something, parked my car and torn a parking coupon. But it was the wrong timing!!! Traumatising!!! When i came back to the car, i say the 'Feng Fei Fei' car park attendance standing in front of my car, luckily i rushed to her in time to stop her from issuing me the fine.

From a glance on her handheld PDA, she was almost done with keying whatever is needed.

ANOTHER PHEW!!!!!

Maybe there will be more 'sway' things coming my way, for now, i need some tranquillizer for all that had happened.

some pictures from the weekend. and also the exciting concert that i had attended on last thursday.

joraine's development

she's now 4 to 5 months old.

a fat little kid, who laughs when adults laughs.

seldom cry, always a cheerful lil' girl.

but her mummy shaved her hair off. now she looks funny.

bought her a little cap. she just so lucky.haha

Natalie Doing Maths

Joraine BOTAK!

This is my neice in her botak hairstyle. Had to shave off her hair because she was losing hair.





Haha..





So the auntie suggested that the aunt(which is me) to buy her a cap and a pair of shoe.haha.

Holiday's OUT, School's In.

It's been a long long while, almost 3-4 months since i last put my words here.

Anyway things has been going up and down for me and my group. But we are on the moving train now. Just hope the train don't stop or turn back.

Oh damn,

holidays were basically spent on FYP. managed to steal sometime out of the stressful Singapore and visited my aunt and my new nephew in BKK.

Visiting BKK this time without the aim of Shopping like everyone had thought i would. Basically i really miss my auntie and my good friend Vipa over there. So i stole some time off to visit them this holiday.

While I was there, i visited the long river of bangkok (sightsee floating market, Wat (temple in thai) and the royal palace of the King). Great experience. Watched the totally awful and ugly Tiger show which totally killed my appetite. the 'Tiger's were old and fat, totally unsightful. and it wasted my 600bht. Because Tiger show was so unexciting and unsatisfying, i returned to the transexuals of Bangkok and caught the Drag Queen of BKK.

Other happenings during my missing action was my involvement in the muscial in salvation army, but i didn't have any photos of that. Lately have the craze of baking and killing my family's and my bf's family stomach, so most time was spent baking at home,if not with FYP.

The Poster for the Musical. It was a fun crew of musicians Christians on stage that night.

The new member of my big family Joraine (the whole family pronouced it as Jo-Lin) haha.

Places I traveled around in BKK

A temple it's suppose to be famous . But i have no idea what its name is.

Ta-DAaaa.. That's my aunt and her son, Cooper.

Doesn't that prove that he has expensive Taste. He rejected a soft toy that i gave to him and grab the ang bow which my other aunt gave to him.

Just too taken aback.

I'm one of them.

What more can i say?

Absolut Nothing.

Where are you when i need you?

Life SUCKs.

squashed up!

it's tiring.
too tired to describe how i'm feeling.
all I can say is

I need a BREAK, badly.

I want to do alot of things, I wanna commit myself in alot of things.

But i dont have the confident to commit myself. I dont think i can handle all of them.

Exams coming in a barely 2 weeks time, but havent really started revision. Alot of things on hand,

so much so I can't handle them. Hard to process them now. Am I too late to start? Oh..

Believe in the Power of Prayers?

My grandfather had a blessing in disguise.

He tripped over the garden hose while watering the plants in one evening.

Had abrasion on his forehead and suffered from a broken nose.

But he's all well now, although still slow and careful in his movement, havent touch the garden hose ever since.

And more than that, everyone in the family is showing concern to him, everyone is paying him visit more often. And I'm glad that the family is showing him the care and concern, at least I know they still care.

That was one of my prayer to god. Now, I pray god to answer the rest of my prayers. Am I too greedy on that, but i'll just wait.

Keep working till I drop.

Ask God

Thanks Susan for forwarding this pIcture to me.

Oh God, tell me why. Does troubles shadow me only?

"Ask and it will be given, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened for you"- Matthew 7:7.

Pray hard for me.

How do you feel

How do you feel looking at his picture?

It was as if, it's cold, and lonely. There are 2 seats there. But no one on it. How lonely. Even the girl walking past it, don't bother to look at it. How lonely, oh, lonely.

Sometimes you just feel like, people rush pass you, not caring about you. You wanted some attention, but not getting any. Like those chairs, you hope that people will come sit on it, give you some warm.

Maybe that's how i feel now. I feel like the chairs. In the open winter grounds, lost, cold and lonely.

Life hasn't been better.

I just wonder, why is life so complicated. People in my life are funny people. I can't seem to understand how they think. Basically they dont think like me. When i said something, I do not have a double meaning to my words. But why do they often interpret it otherwise? I didn't even thought of that.

Yesterday, spent the whole day with my FYP(Final Year Project) Team, trying to come up with our research proposal. I like my topic, but it's rather a tough one.
And i got to celebrate Chelsea with her in GV Plaza, catching Ocean 13 at a low rate of only 5 Bucks. Chelsea said, my blood was worth it.
My blood cost more than $5 ok. haha.

Went to the dentist in the morning, did something to my tooth, and then felt unwell in noon, so i slept thru till the evening. Then i tried to do some work.

Maybe it's because i felt that i had wasted too much time sleeping that's why i'm feeling so lost and frantic.

It's right to say that I need more than 24 hours, but it's also right that Abi said, we only painted 12 hours on our clock and we already multiply it by 2. So i shall not be greedy and make full use of my 24 Hours.

I must accomplish what i set to do, and I must graduate to become a good therapist.

Put some sunlight out to melt those Ice pls.

H.E.C.T.I.C.

it's been a busy week. busy with what? I'm not sure either.

School, School, School. and more school.

School work has now officially occupied my sunday too. oh that sad.

Misses church service for the pass 3 weeks. I told them i was hiding in the cave. haha.

I had no time, seriously. Still trying to catch up with all the literature readings, more refining of the presentation slides and now, still brainstorming about the role play.

Afternoon had more discussion about my paediatrics module. We need to plan a treatment session for the kid, who is diagnosed as ADHD. it was exciting, just as we talk about it, we got confused then got clearer and then got confused again. haha.. but overall, everything went on well in today's discussion..

I can't wait for holiday on thursday. and yesterday was a waste.

Intention to visit the history museum with my family(including my grandfather), i thought bringing him back to living in the 70's would bring back lots of memory. But in the end we didn't make it to turn back time. But i bought my grandfather to explore a new dim sum restaurant in Marina Sq, food was just fair, and expensive. Then i bought him to Central @ clark quay to shop. haha...

Soaking him in the GSS atmosphere was kinda fun. Enjoying Ya kun toast with a cup of coffee.. Chit chating was fun too. I hope to have more of such outings with him. hope he enjoyed himself.

Talking about him, i hope my cousins and aunties would come to visit him more often. Since chinese new year, i had not most of my cousins coming to visit grandfather. And I wonder why. Are they really so busy that they can't even spare a sunday once a month to visit him.

He needs not only love from my family, but his other children too you know. Don't regret only when one is not around, cherish him while he's still by your side. I already learnt my lesson. I miss my grandma. I really wanna tell her alot. alot that is always stucked at the throat just because we are not the kinda family that will express our loves outwardly to one another.

I repented. That's why i made a promise to myself to spend more time with grandfather now.
What about the rest in the family.

Grandfather's health is deteriorating. I can finally see him growing old. I can feel it.
From him, I see how Occupational Therapy philosophy holds so true.
Only when you are doing an occupation, you are a being.
Due to his inactivity, he's growing old, more health issue surfacing.

I admire my grandfather, and i pray that my dad can grow old like my grandfather. Old but still strong. Independent in all ADLs, minimum assistance in community mobility. That's why i admire him.

Updates

It's coming to the end of the 8th week of school. June is here! that reminded me that 1/2 a year had slipped pass me.

Times flies, Kenrick will be coming back in mid-end July. That's fast. And he'll be a Degree holder by that time. And me, still a diploma student.

In the 8 weeks of school, life had been hectic, i should even be using the word "mad".
Life was totally chaotic. And Luck is definitely down on me since school started.
Prayers are not really working as well. Or maybe i should say, it only works 50% of the time.

Ever since FYP began, it was a chaotic life that I had. Staying back in school till 8 or 9 has become a norm for everyone.
Then everyone is rushing around for different meetings, and sometimes you think can i have 2 meetings at one time? sometimes i have to even lie that I'm on my way while I'm still in the midst of another meeting in one corner of the school.

My manager told my friend, if you can pass the course, you are up to face any crisis or challenges in life. Because our course is all encompassing. It drains you physically, mentally and even psychosocial. Let me explain.

First of all, you thought once you get out of school(at least after 18), no more NAPFA right. Oh gosh, we were told to take napfa this year so that we can graduate. Traumatised!!!
Then lecture is not the same like JC, you thought JC prepared you for tertiary right? Oh my tertiary was definitely different, my cohort only 34 of us. We don't see in auditoriums or lecture theater. We go into what we call Lecture Room, basically it's like a tutorial Classroom. Haha.. that's how well all lecturers know all the students and how the students knows all the lecturers too. So Lecturer is no longer like JC for me, where i can sit right at the end of the auditorium with the Swiss monks, and the BBall boys.. you can choose to pay attention, snack, or just turn off. Yes, we, at least me was prone of doing all these in JC.
But now, I think i'm even more hardworking, visiting the library more often than i visit the toilet(ok some exaggeration). I flip reference text more often than I flip the magazine. In class, you have to be wide awake, no slacking, no switching off, cos if you do, you'll be lost for the whole semester. Practical class is no more about pouring chemicals, calculating the no. of moles. Or connecting up the wires into parallel or series.
You get onto the cycle ergonometer, you do dips to measure your Volume of O2 consumption. You test your own body limits. (one tutorial still requires us to revisit our forces and torques though, and i thought i re-lived my JC days) and you do stretches, you do muscle facilitation, you do edema massage. Oh my god.tutor always speaks like a bullet train and with circular breathing, so your brain can't control your hands to take down all notes that she said so.. you see everyone walks out of the class like a zombie.
Lastly, the exciting thing is i was shortlisted for an overseas attachment. Although when i said out the country you all will think 'chey'. But to me, it's a life experience. Different in culture, different type of resources available. Different systems, different belief. I like the challenge. But still, i was just shortlisted, not confirm yet. Oh anyway it's a autism resource center in penang! dream of working with Kids again makes me smile. But I wish i can go for the nearer one instead of waiting till nxt Jan, cos i prefer the company of pple going this july!!!! Whatever it is, I'm still putting my faith in god, i'm praying hard that he'll listen to me and answer my prayers.

Why did i talk about psychosocial.. I guess the course and change the perception of self. Who I am, what I can do for the society.. I had changed me. Most importantly, it had taken up so much time of my present life that I'm missing church for 3 wks(totally guilty about that), changing dates with my friends so often that we dont have the chance to meet up even though i desperately wants to. And I who promised my previous clinical supervisor that i'll go back to the center when i'm free. but i haven't done so yet.

So many things to do, with so little time.
I can give myself a deficit now, I have problem with Time-management!

haha.. Ok back to my FYP stuff now. That's my life.

Random

I just have to say this..

I
want a Break!

ok, heading back to more research and more work to be completed.

Peggy and Jasmine, We still have a movie date ok.

And Phpps peeps, we still have our supper date.

Life like Roller Coaster

It was a fast and furious changing life this week.

The only constant is change. How true.

Suddenly my classmate wanted to quite the course, and then nxt day i'm glad he's back with us again.

When I thought things look on the right track and going smooth, I didn't had motivation to work on it anymore.

It was scary how I think about just stopping work and take time to reflect about life again.

Am I in the right profession?

But at the end of the week, I got the drive to work again. Prayers were answered. I got my strength again.

Now things are hopefully and seemingly back on track.

Just keep it like that. This what I pray for, now and forever.

Unspoken Truth

When one day you felt neglected by the one you always want attention from, then take a step back. Have you already neglected the other loved ones around YOU?

Exactly, they feel that you had neglected them, forgotten about them. And consequently, we start to drift apart.

Everything in this world happens for a reason, and create a reason for the other things to happen. Just like a chemical reaction, one leads to the other. And Consequently, all this happenings turn back on you again.

I asked if it's ok to feel unprivilaged after being together for a long long time? Is it ok to feel that you don't deserve all the love and care from the person you thought of spending the rest of your life together?
Is it ok to just accept what things had become to be and leave it as it is? Or work harder for what you want to happen?

As I proceed into my last year of Dip study, you tend to do more reflection on action because you wanna start reflecting in action after you graduate. haha.. It might sound difficult, but a Good therapist should be able to do that, I think.

As god's words is speaking to me each day, I feel 'hope' and 'prayers' working.

BACK in School

Yes, as my friends finish up their exams, go for holidays, go for intership, go for exchange.. i'm back in school..

Last Lap of School..

Ask if i'm sian.. erm.. alittle..
Dread school... for the first time, yah!

But i'm changing.. i'm loving play and school module.haha.
and i'm going to crash a childcare center and play with the children.. haha.. i'm loving it.

ok. for friends who still didn't know that i'm back.. i was back like 2 weeks ago. so you all can start having your gatherings and ask me along.haha..


Finally quote of the day:

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”
-Stanley Lindquist

Fraser Island

Easter Weekend

Still in Brisbane,

On Good Friday, I got the intention to attend the Salv Army church service over here.But was abit lazy to get out of house. So stay home the whole day as the rest visited the MovieWorld. According to them, no more diff, except 2 additional new rides called 'Superman' and 'Batman'.

So what did i do the whole day. Tried out some new dish, buttered mushrooms with Basa Freshwater Filet. Also tried T-bone Steak for dinner. It was nice, easy to prepare and easy to cook.haha.. Had intention to go running by the river again, but it showered in the afternoon. So I spent the rest of the time checking his tutorial and helping him with his assignment.

On Easter Saturday, Went out to Harbourtown early in the morning. Shopped at the factory outlets of Adiddas, Nike, Esprit, Converse, and many other more. Walked around had Kebab for lunch and continued walking around shopping for more clothes. CAn't find a nice bikini for zhen nor a nice heels for crystal. So I just continued walking around.

After that, travelled down to Surfers Paradise, went to the beach, had photos and saw at the beach. Then we had a hot choco from Starbucks cos it was chill windy today. finally shopped around more and proceed for dinner at a Jap Restaurant. Portion was good and it said on the menu, Perfect Satisfaction. Indeed so.. haha

Now, time for pictures....