Random

I just have to say this..

I
want a Break!

ok, heading back to more research and more work to be completed.

Peggy and Jasmine, We still have a movie date ok.

And Phpps peeps, we still have our supper date.

Life like Roller Coaster

It was a fast and furious changing life this week.

The only constant is change. How true.

Suddenly my classmate wanted to quite the course, and then nxt day i'm glad he's back with us again.

When I thought things look on the right track and going smooth, I didn't had motivation to work on it anymore.

It was scary how I think about just stopping work and take time to reflect about life again.

Am I in the right profession?

But at the end of the week, I got the drive to work again. Prayers were answered. I got my strength again.

Now things are hopefully and seemingly back on track.

Just keep it like that. This what I pray for, now and forever.

Unspoken Truth

When one day you felt neglected by the one you always want attention from, then take a step back. Have you already neglected the other loved ones around YOU?

Exactly, they feel that you had neglected them, forgotten about them. And consequently, we start to drift apart.

Everything in this world happens for a reason, and create a reason for the other things to happen. Just like a chemical reaction, one leads to the other. And Consequently, all this happenings turn back on you again.

I asked if it's ok to feel unprivilaged after being together for a long long time? Is it ok to feel that you don't deserve all the love and care from the person you thought of spending the rest of your life together?
Is it ok to just accept what things had become to be and leave it as it is? Or work harder for what you want to happen?

As I proceed into my last year of Dip study, you tend to do more reflection on action because you wanna start reflecting in action after you graduate. haha.. It might sound difficult, but a Good therapist should be able to do that, I think.

As god's words is speaking to me each day, I feel 'hope' and 'prayers' working.

BACK in School

Yes, as my friends finish up their exams, go for holidays, go for intership, go for exchange.. i'm back in school..

Last Lap of School..

Ask if i'm sian.. erm.. alittle..
Dread school... for the first time, yah!

But i'm changing.. i'm loving play and school module.haha.
and i'm going to crash a childcare center and play with the children.. haha.. i'm loving it.

ok. for friends who still didn't know that i'm back.. i was back like 2 weeks ago. so you all can start having your gatherings and ask me along.haha..


Finally quote of the day:

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”
-Stanley Lindquist

Fraser Island

Easter Weekend

Still in Brisbane,

On Good Friday, I got the intention to attend the Salv Army church service over here.But was abit lazy to get out of house. So stay home the whole day as the rest visited the MovieWorld. According to them, no more diff, except 2 additional new rides called 'Superman' and 'Batman'.

So what did i do the whole day. Tried out some new dish, buttered mushrooms with Basa Freshwater Filet. Also tried T-bone Steak for dinner. It was nice, easy to prepare and easy to cook.haha.. Had intention to go running by the river again, but it showered in the afternoon. So I spent the rest of the time checking his tutorial and helping him with his assignment.

On Easter Saturday, Went out to Harbourtown early in the morning. Shopped at the factory outlets of Adiddas, Nike, Esprit, Converse, and many other more. Walked around had Kebab for lunch and continued walking around shopping for more clothes. CAn't find a nice bikini for zhen nor a nice heels for crystal. So I just continued walking around.

After that, travelled down to Surfers Paradise, went to the beach, had photos and saw at the beach. Then we had a hot choco from Starbucks cos it was chill windy today. finally shopped around more and proceed for dinner at a Jap Restaurant. Portion was good and it said on the menu, Perfect Satisfaction. Indeed so.. haha

Now, time for pictures....

Touring Brisbane

Arrive at 7 in the morning, however because Kenrick lost his way to the airport, i had to wait for him until around 8 plus before he picks me up from the airport.

Weather is just fine here. Nice breezy weather.

By the time i arrive at his place, i was just too exhuasted cos i didn't sleep on the plane. Busy entertaining myself with Flushed away and happy feet. Played nintendo on the plane too.

Just rest for that day cos i was too tired and he was busy with his work.So we didn't go out.But anyway i was having fun snapping silly photos in the house.

On Friday, I went to Southbank, one of the suburb of Brisbane, where Griffith Uni is located, and there was a queensland art performance center there.(Just opp the city). I went to the beach to get some sun, and witness 2 boys fighting. Haha.. It was a Chinese and an australian fighting. Of cos i was hoping the chinese will win.Haha..




Bought Fish and Chips back for kenrick who was busy mugging at home for his mid-sem exam to reward him.. and the chips were too much that he saved them for supper.

Today visited the weekend by the river market in west end, where pple can cheap veg, seafood and some plants and flowers. so i snapped photos along the way again and helped him with some grocery.


Went jogging by the Brisbane river today, it was far and tiring but i enjoyed the jog.

Bored while waiting for kenrick

Fish & Chips from Decks

West End Market

NEGATIVITY

You know how sometimes you just wanna check out your friend's blog to see how they are doing, because you felt so ashame that you have not been catching up with them after such a long time, with all the excuses that you are busy to shoo your friend away. I think i'm one of them.

After flipping thru the blogs of my friends, all i can say is everyone seems to be having different times of the year. Some are happy, some are sad. Some are just waiting for their happy moments to come, while some are foreseeing their sad moment arriving.

All i can say is i'm guilty of neglecting my friends for the past 2 years. All the time, i had been using busy with school as an excuse to turn down meetings with my friends. But the fact was I spent most of the time at home, not all the time mugging. I also can't remember when was the last time I did something meaningful.

Today i read about the problems that my friends are facing, then it made me realise that my problem which i thought was the end of the word is so minute compared to the problems that my friends are facing. And why am I making a big fuss out of small things. Am I just not aware how fortunate I already am compared to many others.

From this attachment I had really learnt alot, and had totally changed my perspective about life. How fragile life can be, how a fever and a insensitive person can change the whole life of a little innocent one. How things can change overnight, or even how much hard work can really change fate.

Although Kenrick had returned to australia to complete his last semester of studies, i still miss him, and of cos i still hate to look at his backview leaving me further and further away. But what is that compared someone not being able to withstand a long distance relationship. I should be considered lucky right.

Although I know grandpa's health is deteriorating, but he's still smily, going out everyday on his two own feet, and what is that compared to my friend who's grandfather not able to walk on his own anymore. I should be glad that god had been blessing us right, even though i lost my grandma just a few months ago.

Some nights i still miss grandma. For the past 2 days i was on MC due to a virus attack. Coughing, sneezing through out the night. Then grandma was the person i thought of when i woke up in the middle of the night. She used to be the one coughing thru the night when i was sharing the same room with her. Now i kinda miss her cough. When i'm ill, she'll definitely asked me if i'm feeling better alr. She was the one who will wake up in the middle of the night, make sure my blanket is on and turn off the aircon if it's too cold. But I'm so ashamed of myself, I never said thanks to her before.

Being sick let me reflect alot on myself, being on this attachment let me reflect alot about life. Being alone in this world, make me realise how important friends are. Being afraid of loniless makes me wanna find my friends again.

So dear friends, can I be your friend again?

HAPPY and CONTENTED

After the last birthday celebration.

I started my attachment on monday.

Early intervention programme for infants and children.

Don't worry. I haven't jump course to Early childhood, still an OT student.

Basically, now i see children everyday. 7 days in a week.

Monday to Friday, children from the center, cheerily and bubbly, some teary and clumsy.

Saturday, active children in gym, have his own character and never able to manipulate him into my way.

Sunday, that smartie monster, natnat, who just can't stop talking or even sit down quietly unless she's eating. And even so she still need to talk when she's eating.

That's my life for the next 6 weeks. Even though it's only the beginning, i'm hoping that this can last forever.

I can understand how the mother feels so heart pain when they hear their precious child cries...

Sometimes, i admire mother who let their child continue with therapy even though the child is alr crying her lungs out.

But at the end of the day, it all pays off..

Cos you just earn a simple, innocent smile from the child.

That makes all the pain go away.

Today, that child who cried in session, said 'byebye' to me, and gave me a nice big smile (i can even see her teeth).

Life is just so Simple!! life is just so Beautiful like James Blunt had sang it.

I'm loving it.

it's been a long time

Finally, i'm posting again..

Haven't got a time to breath since school started again just about 4 weeks ago.

I just can't believe how time just zoom past us these days.

Next week i'll be back on attachment again, and this time i'll be facing the kids.

Not that I dont like them. But what if they dont like me? haha

Anyway I'm all ready for the challange ahead to be in the Paedatrics setting alone.

Today is the start of my study week..

So many things going thru my mind, so difficult to settle down to study.

As i celebrate my friend's 21st birthday, as I finished my semester last week, as the lecturers summed up the lecture..

I just start to define my path/future again.

Why am I in the case i'm?

Looking as the seniors graduating in April/May, and thinking that i'll be my turn next. I wonder where will i be heading to?

Who will I become after the 3 years of life-changing learning experience?

Lotsa questions, but hard to answer.

As i looked back upon what I had accomplished so far, the places that I had been to, the pple I had met, the lifes I had changed (Regardless better or worst, i dont know myself either), am i a changed person now.

As i gathered with my pri school mates, looking back at the silly times when we do silly things, and now where everyone had turned mature with a different thinking and principles about their life. Are we still the same?

The only constant is change, what an irony, I that what life's all about.

Random thoughts.. incoherent thoughts.. Must be the lecture on spirituality, the best practice service for palliative care and the book 'tuesday with morrie' that is making me reflect so hard.

Time to hit the books again.
and just let me live with my feelings this time, without thinking.

Can life be like a bed of roses?

I just hates it when it comes to quarrel.

Sometimes i really dont want to be the one to say sorry.

Sometimes i also dont think i'm at fault, not saying that someone else is the one at fault either.

But why is it that there should be disagreement.

Can't 2 unlike be together. like pple say the opposite attracts?

i'm tired with all the disagreement and discussion to come to a agreement.

GOD I WANT YOUR STRENGTH.

it's over!

2 wks of hols is finally coming to an end. I can smell the book again.

this 2 wks had been a really busy and tiring and at the sametime, fun but yet some parts are disgusting time for me.

Recap of all i had done:

- met up with my 2 JC class mates.
But then sad to say i didn't meet with Peggy and Jasmine.
Hey Peggy, your bday is next sat right? happy birthday. hope can meet you.

- went out with my classmates for movie
watched John tucker must die and You, me and Dupree.
But havent catch Rob-B-Hood with my mom.
Anyway brought some dvds back so can watch with him when he returns.

- went for photography trip.
Erm went to Clark Quary before attachment and beach Road during this 2 wks.
but haze spoils the photo.so didn't take much picture. Discovered a cool place though.

- drove into JB for the first time.
cool and fun. No hiccups and i returned safely to singapore at the end of the day. Of cos i didnt went in alone. But i dont know if i got the chance to do it again or not.

-started teaching a O level kid who's tking his Os this yr.
the boy is ok, willing to learn.But i only have a month left. He should be able to pass,but i dont know if he can do really well.

IF you have realised, everything i listed there had it's good and always end with a BUT. Why is it that pple are like that. Nv satisfied with what they had alr done and achieved. Always want only the more, the better, and sometimes even the BEST.

I want to learn to be satisfied with what i'm given.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation -

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life -

of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,

when my enermies and my foes attack me,

they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord,

that is what i seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enermies who surround me;

at the tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face" Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;

you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path

because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me,

breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.

Amen.

Amazing Grace. Love the Lord.

Congrats! Uncle got out of ICU today. He's now back at the general ward.

Progressing well, and road of recovery is smooth for him. Seems like prayers are working.

We prayed really really hard.

Now i can go kayaking with a peaceful heart. i'll visit him again later in the evening before meeting my pri sch mate later in the night.

Thanks Yuli for hosting us at her house, and Chunrui for that horror but funny when watched it with Sarah & Yuli dvd.. if can lend me the show again so that i can watch it with really horror.. haha

ok.. just wanna give thanks to the Lord and praise him for his guidance and strength.

Continue to work in the prayers and keep close to him.

Follow the light.

Give Thanks.

It's Amazing Grace!

Life is getting beautiful again each day.

Just wanna remind all who are ill and weak, recovery is not instant, continue to work on it.

Life is so vulnerable...

Driving around Singapore like a mad dog..

i had never been so familiar with CTE... and today i used it 3 times. incredible.

Traveled down to the hospital, then back to sch. Back to Mhss to visit my teachers.. and then back to the AMK yuli's house then back to hospital again.

Wow.. busy schedule, and it's back to back somemore.

Why i say life is so vulnerable?

Cos we never know what will happen to us in the next moment. As i joy over my results of the practical exams, i wish i can share it with him (uncle and kenrick).But both are now ill.. I don't know if my results will make them feel better though.

I knew negative things will start coming out of his mouth, when he merely commented that mobility is the most important in my life.

But how can i just let that comment pass me by. I should have said something encouraging right.

Right after i left the room, i know he started sharing negative thoughts with aunt. So insensitively i walked back into the room awhile later, i noticed something wasn't right, but nothing came out of my mouth. I don't know what i could say too..

Because he hasn't been moving for almost 48hrs. his fingers are swelling abit. But thanks to the occupational therapist who prescribed the anti-embolism stocking to him, the legs were fine. Hence i started to message his hands and help him with abit of finger exercise to lessen the swell.

All i wanted to say is immobility is only temporary. He'll soon be out and walking. He even said to me, i'll jog with you and train you for your 10k marathon. Just wait and see.

Where had that spirit gone? where is it? let's find it back ok?

On the other side of my mind, i had to start reading up on my clinicals stuff.. Next monday, i will not be visiting uncle until i end work at 5.45pm. and then i'll go home and continue mugging. I can foresee my life to be like tat until his discharge.

Ok, we just learn different lessons everyday, be it new or relearn things we had once learnt, or even learning new things from what we had learnt. Lessons are never the same, and everyday we live differently. So treasure and cherish everyday and every love one around you.

God loves his children.

I just want to say,"Thank You God".

Today, uncle finally underwent a 10 hour op.I'm not kindding.. it was so long. And thank god, now he's fine. But i'm sure he's also in pain.

Early in the morning, i fetched aunt to the hospital.We were there by 6.45am. and by 7.30am uncle was sent into the operating theatre. I holded his hand tight just before he went him, and i said, i'll be waiting for you to come out ok?

Somehow, uncle is like someone important in my life now. Taking care for him for the past 5 months and accompanying him to follow-up appointment and all the search to the answer of his pain, we went thru alot together. Staying with him also made me realise that my family is regarding me as an grown up now, that they are trusting uncle into my hands. And i must say i really tried to take care of him.

After seeing him into the op theatre, i sent aunt home to rest and rush home to help my sister to bake cookie for our pri school teacher. I mean we actually still have common teachers together.

Then at around 1.40pm i rushed back to fetch aunt back to the hospital and we waited eagerly for uncle to come out. But by 3.50pm he was still not out yet. So i asked the nurse on duty at the op theatre, she told me they just started the op. i was like this is not possible.. ok luckily at 5pm, i asked another nurse and she checked and told me that they are closing up the wound now.

Then at 6.10pm, i asked the nurse again (now u can see how impatient i'm), and she used a really chim word which none of us could understand, but tat word just mean trying to wake the patient up before sending him out of the op theatre.

Okie, finally at around 6.30 i saw someone who looked, not looked like my uncle. His head was wrapped up with bandage, and all connected to monitor and tubing.. and was pushed to the ICU for observation.Hopefully he'll be out of ICU by tml (depends on the doctor). Anyway he's fine now.. and he was awake and i managed to talk to him. However, he was masked so he used his fingers and wrote on my palm.. And with the months of telepathy with each other, i'm actually able to deciphere what he wanted to tell me. Even i was amazed by that. Haha... where did that mo qi come from man. Anyway, aunt tried to talk to me at the same time, so i wasn't able to catch the last part..

The whole day, i prayed and i prayed.
As i wait outside the op theatre, i prayed harder and harder.
As i waited outside the ICU, i prayed more.. i prayed for everyone.
As i received his SMS that he was running a fever, i prayed again for everyone.

I guess today i lived by prayers. And thank you god. You answered my prayer.

Just last request, hope he will recover asap , i'm talking about uncle and my bf.

i need more rest. i need to start on my Neuro revision.
I need to set my heart for clinicals, and i hope i can do well this time.

Continue to live by prayer and talk quietly to god.

Life should be more beautiful than this.

At the end of Clark Quay Outing...

I was on my way home.This was taken at Little India Station. All by myself..There was not a single soul in the station, or the underpass.. Do you still there to walk there?

In the end i did, to make myself feel less scary... i ended up taking the souless underpass. what's ahead and what's behind me... Exactly nothing..

Haha...

It was an enjoyable trip all thanks to Chelsea, Crystal and YuLi.. We shall set our new destination soon. So we can go photography again..

 

Clarke Quay 6

 

Clarke Quay 5