life is just so torturous.. it's a toying of one's feeling.
it's about giving one hope,but putting it down easily too.
life can be so simple, but we can see it as a very complex thing too.
A pair of lover, going thru thick and thin together,but at the end they are seperated by a simple thing call love.
it's not easy to be in love, but it's even harder to give love. When you are so far apart, you promised that nothing will pull us about, but we just drifted away from each other everyday.Why is it so? what's that physics or chemistry behind this?
Another hope is gone, and now left with the last choice, not that i'm not happy that there is at least one last choice, but it's not a really gd choice either. What will pple say, what will my parents say?
Do i really have to care about what they say? or can i just care about how i feel?
I used to cry because i have so many reasons to cry, but today, i just can't find a reason to cry when i feel like crying out.
Suffering is part of everybodies life, but why is mine seem nv to come to an end.
i just wanna shout my misery out, just wanna cry my lungs out, and cry till my tear glands dry, but i got no reason to cry.
i want a simple life.
Monday, April 03, 2006
我要快乐
又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的
To see the chinese characters, go to [view] -> [encoding] -> [unicode (UTF-8)].
Recently i heard this while i was driving, and i really like ah-mei song, i think this songs kinda speak my heart out.listen to it if you have the chance to. i love ah-mei's voice.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
come home fast
although time seems to be flying, but only 1 month had gone. I believe i had sent out 5 letters to him over these 4 weeks.
Recently there is a show about this girl having to choose between 2 guys, which she kept contact in different manners. One by snail mail and the other by email. If you are the girl, who will you choose?
Although i didn't catch any episode of the show, but if i'm the girl, i'll choose the guy with snail mail. reason being i feel the love and the distance between 2 person drawing close when i see his handwriting. By looking at his handwriting, i can see the feeling that he has went writing that letter, when i see his handwriting, i feel that he's just beside me. When i see his handwriting, i can picture him right in my head.
Many at times we tend to take things for granted, and we never come to realise how much we need each other until we are seperated. This hols had made me think and reflected. Why did i choose OT? why did i try for the scholarship? why did i miss him so much even though communications are so easily available now? Until today, some answers to my own reflection are still unknown, and i never asked myself these qns until some one stop me and pulled me aside to ask me to reflect. Thank you for your concern and it had made me think and think again.
Until now, i still don't regret coming into this course, although you keep telling me that you got no hols like uni have. But i guess the uni doesn't enjoy as much as i can enjoy during class and with my coursemates.
Recently i'm looking forward to moving to my aunt's place,even if it's just temporary. It's really convinient for me if i can move to woodlands coz it'll allow me to reduce my travelling time, which i can't complain coz i have my dear fren staying in boon lay( even further than me). But travelling had really made me sick and tired of going home sometimes. and when i reach home, i'm so tired that i don't feel like facing the books anymore. And worst of all, my room is no longer a condusive environment for me to study anymore. Why do i say that?
In the past, my granny used to travel ard and not stay permenantly at my place. So i'm still quite comfortable with her sharing a room with me. But over the past yr, she had decided to stay permenantly at my place, in other words, share room with me everyday, including public hols (which is 24/7). This really makes me feel very awkward, especially when her bed is next to my study table. When she sleeps at the bed while i'm studying at my table, i always feel that she's looking at me. Maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i believe no one likes that feeling. And because it's dark when i don't turn both lights on when i study, but one of the lights shine directly above my granny's bed, and makes her unable to sleep when i study deep into the night. Then i compensated by turning that light off and switch on my table lamp, but because my table is next to the bed, it doesn't make much of a difference. My parents ask me not to be bothered by that, and my bf mother gave me a divider to seperate the light from shining over.i tot that is much better le. but she still continue to complain to my aunt about me making noise at late night and i really feel that i'm so restricted in my own house, own room.. Oh man, do i not have privacy or not even my own space to work, sleep and be happy and contented with.
So i needed a solution, i suggested that we move to the flat after the contract with my current tenant had end, but my family strongly disagree with that. Then i said, can i change room with my bro.He agreed so readily, but still he took back his words, what a man.thinking of this incident makes my blood boils. Why is my family not understanding my situation. do anyone of them wanna try it out for themselves. Y are my aunt and my granny so unreasonable. y don't they try to put themselves into my shoe and see how it feels.
So now, i'm looking for alternatives. at first my aunt(mom's side) said i can move to her place since she has spare room and my cousin is studying overseas currently. Then they took tat offer back by giving tons of excuses that even my mom can't accept them. So now i headed to my next plan, renting a room from my bf's fren(also my fren). 2 sisters staying in a flat at woodlands. walking distance from mrt, suits me almost perfectly. But i had to await for their reply before i head to my last resort, tat would be to move out to my bf's place and stay in his room until he comes home. i didn't plan for that actually but his parents offered, if that's my last resort i'll really consider tat, unless you got better suggestions for me.
This few days, i wasn't feeling well. at the bottom corner of my heart, there is this constant pain and i keep thinking of my bf. So many things had happened while he was gone, and everytime i just wish for him to be beside me, but without fail he will send someone to talk to me. Thanks dear, if there is no you in my life, i can't imagine if i'm happier or worst now.
Memories flow back when i started to flip the old photo albums. looking at all the events that we had together and the happy times we had together. i never remember as happy until now, i'm so foolish. i'm so crazy over you. And this 2 days, i miss you even more. We don't talk as much as we used to in the past, and everynight the topic nv fails to be comforting you coz you are feeling really stress. But sometimes, i just hope to talk about some happy and lightheartened things with you. Everyday, our conversation is the same, i'm not sick of it,but it makes me feel really tired and i just feel that i got no more strength for you, coz i had put in all the strength to support you, so much so that i got no more strength to let myself be strong anymore.
I don't know what i'm talking now, but i am love sick i guess. talking to you only makes me feel so near yet so far. Esp when we chat on msn and skype, it's even worse. seeing you on the webcam gives me the urge to get a ticket and fly immediately to be there with you. i wan to give you a hug but my hands are not long enough to reach. i don't know how long more we can go, but i really hope we can go on forever. i wish for sch to start so tat i can study with you again. i wish sch to start because only when sch start i can focus my mind again on my books and not miss you so much.
Everyday i past without you by my side, everyday seems to be like a never ending tunnel, when will i come to the end of the tunnel again. Dear, come home fast... i really miss you alot.
Recently there is a show about this girl having to choose between 2 guys, which she kept contact in different manners. One by snail mail and the other by email. If you are the girl, who will you choose?
Although i didn't catch any episode of the show, but if i'm the girl, i'll choose the guy with snail mail. reason being i feel the love and the distance between 2 person drawing close when i see his handwriting. By looking at his handwriting, i can see the feeling that he has went writing that letter, when i see his handwriting, i feel that he's just beside me. When i see his handwriting, i can picture him right in my head.
Many at times we tend to take things for granted, and we never come to realise how much we need each other until we are seperated. This hols had made me think and reflected. Why did i choose OT? why did i try for the scholarship? why did i miss him so much even though communications are so easily available now? Until today, some answers to my own reflection are still unknown, and i never asked myself these qns until some one stop me and pulled me aside to ask me to reflect. Thank you for your concern and it had made me think and think again.
Until now, i still don't regret coming into this course, although you keep telling me that you got no hols like uni have. But i guess the uni doesn't enjoy as much as i can enjoy during class and with my coursemates.
Recently i'm looking forward to moving to my aunt's place,even if it's just temporary. It's really convinient for me if i can move to woodlands coz it'll allow me to reduce my travelling time, which i can't complain coz i have my dear fren staying in boon lay( even further than me). But travelling had really made me sick and tired of going home sometimes. and when i reach home, i'm so tired that i don't feel like facing the books anymore. And worst of all, my room is no longer a condusive environment for me to study anymore. Why do i say that?
In the past, my granny used to travel ard and not stay permenantly at my place. So i'm still quite comfortable with her sharing a room with me. But over the past yr, she had decided to stay permenantly at my place, in other words, share room with me everyday, including public hols (which is 24/7). This really makes me feel very awkward, especially when her bed is next to my study table. When she sleeps at the bed while i'm studying at my table, i always feel that she's looking at me. Maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i believe no one likes that feeling. And because it's dark when i don't turn both lights on when i study, but one of the lights shine directly above my granny's bed, and makes her unable to sleep when i study deep into the night. Then i compensated by turning that light off and switch on my table lamp, but because my table is next to the bed, it doesn't make much of a difference. My parents ask me not to be bothered by that, and my bf mother gave me a divider to seperate the light from shining over.i tot that is much better le. but she still continue to complain to my aunt about me making noise at late night and i really feel that i'm so restricted in my own house, own room.. Oh man, do i not have privacy or not even my own space to work, sleep and be happy and contented with.
So i needed a solution, i suggested that we move to the flat after the contract with my current tenant had end, but my family strongly disagree with that. Then i said, can i change room with my bro.He agreed so readily, but still he took back his words, what a man.thinking of this incident makes my blood boils. Why is my family not understanding my situation. do anyone of them wanna try it out for themselves. Y are my aunt and my granny so unreasonable. y don't they try to put themselves into my shoe and see how it feels.
So now, i'm looking for alternatives. at first my aunt(mom's side) said i can move to her place since she has spare room and my cousin is studying overseas currently. Then they took tat offer back by giving tons of excuses that even my mom can't accept them. So now i headed to my next plan, renting a room from my bf's fren(also my fren). 2 sisters staying in a flat at woodlands. walking distance from mrt, suits me almost perfectly. But i had to await for their reply before i head to my last resort, tat would be to move out to my bf's place and stay in his room until he comes home. i didn't plan for that actually but his parents offered, if that's my last resort i'll really consider tat, unless you got better suggestions for me.
This few days, i wasn't feeling well. at the bottom corner of my heart, there is this constant pain and i keep thinking of my bf. So many things had happened while he was gone, and everytime i just wish for him to be beside me, but without fail he will send someone to talk to me. Thanks dear, if there is no you in my life, i can't imagine if i'm happier or worst now.
Memories flow back when i started to flip the old photo albums. looking at all the events that we had together and the happy times we had together. i never remember as happy until now, i'm so foolish. i'm so crazy over you. And this 2 days, i miss you even more. We don't talk as much as we used to in the past, and everynight the topic nv fails to be comforting you coz you are feeling really stress. But sometimes, i just hope to talk about some happy and lightheartened things with you. Everyday, our conversation is the same, i'm not sick of it,but it makes me feel really tired and i just feel that i got no more strength for you, coz i had put in all the strength to support you, so much so that i got no more strength to let myself be strong anymore.
I don't know what i'm talking now, but i am love sick i guess. talking to you only makes me feel so near yet so far. Esp when we chat on msn and skype, it's even worse. seeing you on the webcam gives me the urge to get a ticket and fly immediately to be there with you. i wan to give you a hug but my hands are not long enough to reach. i don't know how long more we can go, but i really hope we can go on forever. i wish for sch to start so tat i can study with you again. i wish sch to start because only when sch start i can focus my mind again on my books and not miss you so much.
Everyday i past without you by my side, everyday seems to be like a never ending tunnel, when will i come to the end of the tunnel again. Dear, come home fast... i really miss you alot.
Let me support you all the way k. i miss your smile. jia you dear.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
i dunno
This is posted specially for you.
Maybe i had said things that i should not have said, maybe i had hurt you more than anyone else had ever done unto you. Maybe i should just shut up and just absorb everything you said like a sponge.Maybe i should not be here at all.
Sometimes i just don't know, what had gone over me? is my life just gng downslope from now onwards? where is my power of motivation? is it not working on you anymore? am i so not understanding and unable to feel as you suffer? where is that piece of love for you?
Everynight, i hope that we can talk about something different, but i just realise that as the days go by, the topic is just restricted to why you are suffering and why not others but you? i told you that i understand that you are very stressed up with your school work and i know it's not easy to be independent especially when you got everything taken care of when you are here. And you said i'll never understand coz i nv experience it before. ( this really hurts) am i so useless that even now, the things i said, you can't even be bothered coz you are too involved in being hurt and hurting yourself even more?
I really don't know what i should do? i really don't know if i am still able to carry on? i'm trying very hard not to give you anymore trouble. but everytime when i have a problem, you are the first one i think of.No matter good or bad, you are always the first one that i want to share that piece of news with. You said you are always there to encourage me when i have a problem (are you telling me that i nv do that for you)
i'm willing to say sorry if that's what you want to hear from me, lastly, no matter how much i said to hurt you, i just want you to be that determined and strong guy that i fall in love with, now i'm searching for him. pls ask him back.
Lastly, i still love you.gd night.The smile is missing in every picture.can you see it?
This is my prayer for all of us tonight:
Answer me when i call to you, O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1
Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you i pray. Psalm 5:1-2
Dear lord, pls help those who are suffering, regardless of the quality of life or from the illness, help those who are unable to cry to you.Help those who had cried to you and those who had spoken to you.Hope those who are eagerly waiting for a response each day, and lastly help everyone who walks in your light. Amen.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Let's talk about LOVE
In God's word, he said,
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourself.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; i will repay," says the Lord.
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-Roman 12 : 9-21.
Do all the brothers and sisters understand this passage. Let's shower our love this month. thank god.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourself.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; i will repay," says the Lord.
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-Roman 12 : 9-21.
Do all the brothers and sisters understand this passage. Let's shower our love this month. thank god.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Happy Together!
Imagine me and you,
I doI think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together
If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
If I should call you up, invest a dime (Call you up)
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind (Ease my mind)
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine (Very fine)
So happy together (together)
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life [x2]
About my life (Yeah!)
Call you up
Ease my mind, Ease my mind, Ease my mind!
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life [x2]Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
So happy together (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Thank you friends, you all are just too wonderful.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
misery
Viking or roller coaster? which is most suitable to describe my life now?
I guess it's Viking, at least i know there are times when roller coaster travel straight right.
My mood swings like the Vike, and i am feeling totally lost, lost in the battle, lost in direction, lost my self-esteem too. It had been a exciting 2 wks of hols, and in fact,i'm looking forward to more,but then it seems like it's time i come to a stop.
After looking at my results today, tears flooded the table in front of me. I don't know whether i'm dissapointed or full of regrets,but i must say i really tried my best already.But why did my results turn out so disgustingly.
Pple always say, you will reap what you had sow. is it always true. i doubt so. i mean, i really put in effort, even lost contacts with many friends because i'm totally busy with the hell of sch work and projects. always staying in the library, busy doing readup and all, but why still like tat. i also dunno why.it's just unexplanable to me at this moment.
i'm losing that confident i used to have, and most importantly, i'm losing the chance to excel.
it's not as if i didn't work hard at all, but it still turned out like tat.I'm not saying it's anyone fault, and even so,it's my own fault.maybe i should have tried harder when i tot i already tried my best.
Something happened at home, and something happened to myself, so i'm giving a miss to the sailing trip. I would not enjoy myself even if i go,and i'm feeling guilty if i go.so yup,i'm not gng this time. i must do better next sem and make up for my stupid mistake this time. I must also keep a clean bill of health so that i won't miss class and miss out important stuff. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.
I wanna go for Retail Therapy, anyone interested?
I guess it's Viking, at least i know there are times when roller coaster travel straight right.
My mood swings like the Vike, and i am feeling totally lost, lost in the battle, lost in direction, lost my self-esteem too. It had been a exciting 2 wks of hols, and in fact,i'm looking forward to more,but then it seems like it's time i come to a stop.
After looking at my results today, tears flooded the table in front of me. I don't know whether i'm dissapointed or full of regrets,but i must say i really tried my best already.But why did my results turn out so disgustingly.
Pple always say, you will reap what you had sow. is it always true. i doubt so. i mean, i really put in effort, even lost contacts with many friends because i'm totally busy with the hell of sch work and projects. always staying in the library, busy doing readup and all, but why still like tat. i also dunno why.it's just unexplanable to me at this moment.
i'm losing that confident i used to have, and most importantly, i'm losing the chance to excel.
it's not as if i didn't work hard at all, but it still turned out like tat.I'm not saying it's anyone fault, and even so,it's my own fault.maybe i should have tried harder when i tot i already tried my best.
Something happened at home, and something happened to myself, so i'm giving a miss to the sailing trip. I would not enjoy myself even if i go,and i'm feeling guilty if i go.so yup,i'm not gng this time. i must do better next sem and make up for my stupid mistake this time. I must also keep a clean bill of health so that i won't miss class and miss out important stuff. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.
I wanna go for Retail Therapy, anyone interested?
Sunday, March 05, 2006
life is just so simple
Just that Simple Life...
finally, exam's over. holiday is here.
BUt it's just another lonely holiday without him by my side. it's god's will.We are seperated by land and water. only when i'm busy, he will be free, and vice versa.tell me what can i do.Not to go against god's will, but i just want back that kind of life, where i can enjoy myself with him. I just wanna spend time with him, after his busy schedule. Somehow, we always see the busy side of one another that we are starting to forget those enjoyable moment that we had together. haiz.
nothing much this hols, but i'm all ready for the coming sailing trip with my friends. i'm sure it's gonna be exciting, hope the sea will be just calm and smooth so that we don't get sea sick and start to pollute the sea. It's a trip out to South China sea. Gng to conquer a little isles at the heart of south china sea. Guess i'll just more picture to explain the beautiful paradise.
As for him, i hope he'll do well this sem, just like next sem. However, i hope he has less problems and a smoother journey this sem, and hopefully he come home soon.
tat's all folks. take care~
finally, exam's over. holiday is here.
BUt it's just another lonely holiday without him by my side. it's god's will.We are seperated by land and water. only when i'm busy, he will be free, and vice versa.tell me what can i do.Not to go against god's will, but i just want back that kind of life, where i can enjoy myself with him. I just wanna spend time with him, after his busy schedule. Somehow, we always see the busy side of one another that we are starting to forget those enjoyable moment that we had together. haiz.
nothing much this hols, but i'm all ready for the coming sailing trip with my friends. i'm sure it's gonna be exciting, hope the sea will be just calm and smooth so that we don't get sea sick and start to pollute the sea. It's a trip out to South China sea. Gng to conquer a little isles at the heart of south china sea. Guess i'll just more picture to explain the beautiful paradise.
As for him, i hope he'll do well this sem, just like next sem. However, i hope he has less problems and a smoother journey this sem, and hopefully he come home soon.
tat's all folks. take care~
Monday, January 02, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
the 2006
finally a year had gone passed.
i had listed my new year resolution:
1) concentrate fully on my studies.
2) i hope to spend more time with my family
3) i wish everyone's health to be pink
4) i wish to discover my hidden self
5) i hope to maintain this long term relationship
anyway year 2005 had passed so excitingly, and i guess it's been the year that i had travelled the most.Let's recap.
the happiest moment i had in 2005: i guess it would be when i celebrated my birthday with him and of course the time we spent alone in brisbane.(an unforgettable memory that's still fresh in my mind)
the most reliving moment in 2005: that's definitely after i receive my A's result.then it's when i got into my dream course (Occupational Therapy)
the most self fulfiling moment in 2005: i successfully pursuaded my parents for their approval to let me travel on my own.
the saddest moment in 2005: the moment at the airport on the 12th of July. the very moment that he entered that departure gate.
the stupidest thing i did in 2005: there's too many to list. but i guess it would be to let him go that night.
the biggest achievement i had in 2005: i passed my sem1 fairly well and i would definitely wanna do better this sem.
the biggest dilemma in 2005: to further my studies in aust or locally. but i chose this place, coz this is where i grew up from. this is where my supports are. this is where i think i can study happily.
the last movie i watched in 2005: Harry Potter
the last of the last in 2005: the last MHMB band concert. I just miss that bunch of pple. i just miss the conductor. i just miss the smell of that room.i just miss everything that we did together.
tell me this coming year is going to be more ups and downs. prepare me for the worst to come. pray for everyone and me that we can have a happy ending.
It's all god's plan. I hope mine is a smooth journey with the minimal hurdles.
I had a hard time in 2005. i had a hard time trying my best to let it go. i had tried my best to stand by myself. i think i had did it!
Year 2006, way to go!
i had listed my new year resolution:
1) concentrate fully on my studies.
2) i hope to spend more time with my family
3) i wish everyone's health to be pink
4) i wish to discover my hidden self
5) i hope to maintain this long term relationship
anyway year 2005 had passed so excitingly, and i guess it's been the year that i had travelled the most.Let's recap.
the happiest moment i had in 2005: i guess it would be when i celebrated my birthday with him and of course the time we spent alone in brisbane.(an unforgettable memory that's still fresh in my mind)
the most reliving moment in 2005: that's definitely after i receive my A's result.then it's when i got into my dream course (Occupational Therapy)
the most self fulfiling moment in 2005: i successfully pursuaded my parents for their approval to let me travel on my own.
the saddest moment in 2005: the moment at the airport on the 12th of July. the very moment that he entered that departure gate.
the stupidest thing i did in 2005: there's too many to list. but i guess it would be to let him go that night.
the biggest achievement i had in 2005: i passed my sem1 fairly well and i would definitely wanna do better this sem.
the biggest dilemma in 2005: to further my studies in aust or locally. but i chose this place, coz this is where i grew up from. this is where my supports are. this is where i think i can study happily.
the last movie i watched in 2005: Harry Potter
the last of the last in 2005: the last MHMB band concert. I just miss that bunch of pple. i just miss the conductor. i just miss the smell of that room.i just miss everything that we did together.
tell me this coming year is going to be more ups and downs. prepare me for the worst to come. pray for everyone and me that we can have a happy ending.
It's all god's plan. I hope mine is a smooth journey with the minimal hurdles.
I had a hard time in 2005. i had a hard time trying my best to let it go. i had tried my best to stand by myself. i think i had did it!
Year 2006, way to go!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
all i want for christmas is you..
i can feel it coming.that bad omen..
blogging on christmas night makes me feel all alone again.
although i spent a day with him, i don't feel his presence.
although i got to see him the whole day, i felt that i only see him for a few hours.
where had he gone..
shakespears once said, life is nothing but a dream, a play on the stage.
We are all actors of our life, we can be the director of our life too, issit it?
This is a christmas which i hope never comes, or should i say that i hope it'll be over in the next minute. It was a christmas that i nv looked forward too...
some one asked if the feeling had fade, i really dunno how to answer that question. i had been asking myself tat same qn, but i still can't find the answer...
Things just seem to be changing,for the better or for the worse...
i can't find myself..
i'm leaving a question mark here.. can someone fill it in for me.
i'm tired of my style of living, it's getting draggy and torturous.
Merry X'mas to all my friends, and i wish you all happy and merry always.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
2 wks of sch.
HectiC is all i can Say...
This is my Simple Plan..
LLD PBL presentation - to be completed by 16Nov.(tentative)
Research Method Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)
Lower Limb Anatomy Practical Test - Wk 7 (must start memorising this weekend)
Physiology ICA test - Wk 8 ( just pay attention to param)
Communication Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)
Alot of required reading to do, must find out more about orthopaedic and OT stuff to prepare for Clinicals.
Must draw up Clinical Learning Objective. Must start now. I don't know where to start. How?
Totally Lost now..
I just miss those moments.
This is my Simple Plan..
LLD PBL presentation - to be completed by 16Nov.(tentative)
Research Method Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)
Lower Limb Anatomy Practical Test - Wk 7 (must start memorising this weekend)
Physiology ICA test - Wk 8 ( just pay attention to param)
Communication Project - ?? (haven't started at all yet)
Alot of required reading to do, must find out more about orthopaedic and OT stuff to prepare for Clinicals.
Must draw up Clinical Learning Objective. Must start now. I don't know where to start. How?
Totally Lost now..
I just miss those moments.
Friday, October 14, 2005
i'm really going home this time
Time just flies... do they have wings?
Another week had passed,this sat,i'm really gng to leave on the jet plane, away frm this land of his and mine,back to the lonely island and back to my life of studying.
It's not that i hate going back to school,in fact i'm looking forward to monday when school starts,when i have to wait for another 15mins before hannah appears in front of me late again.
but i hate to leave this place(or our paradise),hate to leave him alone,hate to leave him so faraway that i can't hug him to cry again.
I just hope that my another week of stay had helped him in many ways,accompanying him to lectures and tutorial was interesting,at the same time,it exercises my brain too,so i'm not so slow and retarded when sch begins again.Accompanying him ard to search for material for his project was fun and not tiring at all.Seeing him progress in his project,and coming to a completion of his project gave myself a weird sense of achievement,which i can't describe that feeling either..it's just that weird feeling.
Although i can't stay any longer to see him thru his exams,i will still be supporting him from faraway and awaiting for him to return home to be by myside too.
My stay here had made me realised that he's a changed person now,not as optimistic as before,but overall he's become a better man.Just learnt to see this is a darker angle,maybe it's just me,coz i am not forced into such environment like he is now,so i'm not able to stand in his viewpoint at times.
This week we explored more places and even had chance to hop onto the train system of Brisbane.Thinking that it's not so backwards here,i just i was alittle wrong. All PA systems are manually operated,not pre-recorded okie,just like u are boarding a plane.Then u think the door should open on its own,but nope,u got to pull the lever of the door to get in if no one alight frm that cabin.how cool can that be... i din even noe till my fren told me abt that.
at the train station of chinatown.
I'm Going home tomorrow.bye.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The feeling is back.
Just as everything ''seems'' fine,and fitting in nicely again,it's almost time for us to part again.
We thought we will be able to take it lightly,but we just can't bear to part again.It's so painful..
We thought we will be able to take it lightly,but we just can't bear to part again.It's so painful..
Seeing him cry infront of me everynight pinches my heart,the pain pierces through me and blood oozed out from everywhere.That is the only thing to describe me now.
He said,'Can you don't go back?'
Although i replied practically that i Can't,but how i wish i can...
How i wish i can vanish into the thin air and surround you all the thing,watch of you and bless you.
It might have been a mistake in the first place for me to be here.Obviously,my presence had not make you become better,and worse of all,you seem to be more and more tensed up.
Since the day i'm here,i never see you smile,i only wipe your tears for you.Every trip out seems enjoyable and fun,but deep in my heart,i know jolly well that you are not enjoying yourself at all.I can't capture your smile in any photograph,not a moment in the time we spent together.Had i brought you more misery than joy?
Maybe only after i leave this place,then you can be happy and be yourself again.Maybe i had tried too hard to change who you are,but i really hate this you...
i don't know what i can do.i just hope you can talk to me and share with me your problems.I'll be leaving soon,i hope we can seize this opportunity tat we are together.
"You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love."
Saturday, October 01, 2005
story bridge in Brisbane
Look at how magnificient this bridge is..it just blows me off...
Another look of the Story bridge.Somehow it just reminds me of a small london bridge.haha
Streets Beach,South Bank
This is where i wanna go later.i hope i can make it there.. hahah
Signing off.. good night
Friday, September 30, 2005
My trip to Indooroopilly
Currency Conversion:
AUS$1.00 = S$1.39
today i travelled to indooroopilly shopping centre on my own.This is the first time since i came over,taking a bus(public transport) on my own without him by myside and gng to somewhere i nv been and seen before.
But the whole journey to and back was so exciting.
the journey started out frm Uni of Queensland,and end at the doorstep of Indooroopilly shopping centre.
The night before i checked online the bus route to take.So today,i acc him to the uni,and while he was busy in the lab,i made my trip to indooroopilly SC and explored tat place all by myself.
ok, so at ard 1.30pm,i hopped onto bus 428 at Uni of Queensland bus stop A,and i doubled confirm with the bus driver tat that is the bus which i'm suppose to get on,(just incase the info in the net is not accurate).ok, so i sat by myself,listening to my mp3 on the way there,and keeping a lookout of the road names, to assure myself again that i'm on the right track.okie,cool.saw many different patterns of houses on my way to indooroopilly.
'coz the stop tat i'm suppose to get off at is a interchange,so it was easy for me, i just got to follow everyone and alight at that stop.
okie when i first step into the SC,i remember the shop tat i first saw(banks,and food court)so that i'll be able to get back to the same spot to get the bus back to Uni of Queensland.
So systematically i explored indooroopillySC,there were abt 4 levels and many boutique there.So i bought sweets,erm,a blouse which is below AUS$20,i mean tat whole shop sells everything below AUS$20.Then i shopped ard,and soon it was abt 5pm le,shops are abt to close,(tat's the bad thing abt touring aussie,shop close early).Anyway so i trace back my track and went back to the bus interchange,got onto 428 which goes back to Uni of Queensland to meet him.
The trip back was only abt 20mins,knowing tat he'll still be busy at the lab,i explored the uni on my own,and luckily for my streetwise,i found my way to the lab,looking thru the window,i saw him working conscienously on his project,so i dint wanna disturb him or make him stop his work halfway just to acc me.So i went to the nearby lake for a walk by myself.Looking at the cranes and birds at the lake,the carefree-ness of these little creature,i could feel what the lonely soul of him is gng thru.but i can only be here temporarily to unload his unhappiness.Soon we will be parted again,but i hope this time it'll be better for the both of us.I can't imagine how it'll be like,and i dont dare to imagine too.i'll let nature take its course and see how things are gng to be after tat.For now i just wanna help him as much as i can,to help him feel better,and hopefully he knows tat i'll always be there for him, no matter now or later, in aus or back in Singapore.
oh yar, because i knw he's facing alot of problems lately,and i also dunno when i became so superstitious,i bought him a tailsmen(frm the ancient egypt) for obstacles of life,and hopefully tat will guide him, and protect him thru.I just hope for the better and i wish him good luck.
Anyway it is late night in CITY today,so we went to city for dinner and just to relax himself.now back in his room,working very hard on his project again,and because i knw nuts abt electricity,i can only sit beside him and look at what he's doing.i dunno if tat is considered helping anot.haha.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
I had Donut King today
Today i had Donut King for Lunch, it's kinda like dunkin' donut in malaysia, but this one come in many shapes and sizes,we also went to supermart to get stuff to cook for tuesday dinner.Although we only went out for a short while,but i guess it's relaxing ba.Anyway then we found this place where we can take see the brisbane river.so we took a few photos there on our way hm.haha.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
I'm in Brisbane now.
I had flown in a plane for 6.5hrs frm singapore all the way to brisbane to meet him.Although the journey here was tough,but when i finally met him later in the morning everything seem worthwhile.
On the plane, i was sitting between 2 ang mohs, one can't slp and the other slping like a pig(snoring somemore). So like u have expected, i can't slp too.Luckily, this small little screen infront of me accompanied me thru my journey.I ate the most disgusting supper(Baked salmon with mashed potatoes) and proceed to watch the latest in house movie,the longest Yard.I would say the movie was good.Then after that show, i watch Mr and Mrs Jones by Bratt pitt and Angelina Jones.Erm, i guess these are the most expensive movie i'll be catching this yr ba.Anyway after tat i wanted to watch CSI which Qantas preview too, but i guess i'll surely fall aslp after tat, so i watched something comedy called the The Britan.I was suppose to laugh but the joke was too cold and too lame that i can't laugh man. Anyway then i still couldn't slp coz the plane is too dry, and i feel that my nose is gng to drop off soon, so i requested for many cups of ice water.And also because the guy beside me keep gng up and down the seat, i knw i have many opportunity to go to the toilet.haha..
Soon, after playing a few games on nintendo, i was abt to fall aslp, then they say it's breakfast time.Haha.. The Breakfast was super lousy.They only provided a crossiant with Raisins (cold and chewy), and a cup of tea lo. then shortly we embarked at Brisbane International Airport and my senior was there to recep me, so i wasn't a lost sheep.Luckily, she's free in that morning,or i'll have to flag a cab back to his place.
Anyway, we didn't really plan where to go,so most of the time we went shopping,in city and at a suburb shopping center Toowong.And today we went to Sch sport to play badminton with 2 other frens.Had alot of fun,but after tat he felt he nv study much today,so now we are in his room studying now.while i'm here blogging and acc him.
Leaving you with some of the photos tat we took yesterday at brisbane river and At Queen St Mall.
On the plane, i was sitting between 2 ang mohs, one can't slp and the other slping like a pig(snoring somemore). So like u have expected, i can't slp too.Luckily, this small little screen infront of me accompanied me thru my journey.I ate the most disgusting supper(Baked salmon with mashed potatoes) and proceed to watch the latest in house movie,the longest Yard.I would say the movie was good.Then after that show, i watch Mr and Mrs Jones by Bratt pitt and Angelina Jones.Erm, i guess these are the most expensive movie i'll be catching this yr ba.Anyway after tat i wanted to watch CSI which Qantas preview too, but i guess i'll surely fall aslp after tat, so i watched something comedy called the The Britan.I was suppose to laugh but the joke was too cold and too lame that i can't laugh man. Anyway then i still couldn't slp coz the plane is too dry, and i feel that my nose is gng to drop off soon, so i requested for many cups of ice water.And also because the guy beside me keep gng up and down the seat, i knw i have many opportunity to go to the toilet.haha..
Soon, after playing a few games on nintendo, i was abt to fall aslp, then they say it's breakfast time.Haha.. The Breakfast was super lousy.They only provided a crossiant with Raisins (cold and chewy), and a cup of tea lo. then shortly we embarked at Brisbane International Airport and my senior was there to recep me, so i wasn't a lost sheep.Luckily, she's free in that morning,or i'll have to flag a cab back to his place.
Anyway, we didn't really plan where to go,so most of the time we went shopping,in city and at a suburb shopping center Toowong.And today we went to Sch sport to play badminton with 2 other frens.Had alot of fun,but after tat he felt he nv study much today,so now we are in his room studying now.while i'm here blogging and acc him.
Leaving you with some of the photos tat we took yesterday at brisbane river and At Queen St Mall.
Friday, September 16, 2005
where am i nw?
i think every1 is as eager as me to knw whether i pass my driving test right,okie, i flunt it.it was horrible,i tot i was okie actually.but anyway,it doesn't really matter to me whether i pass at which attempt.Anyway for ur info,it's only my first attempt.
As many should know by nw,i'm flying off in another 5 days time.This time,it's a tour and holiday break for me.An expensive one,but anyway i'll be on my own.I mean really on my own,without a tour group,without my friends with me,until i touch down in aust.Till now, i still have no regrets of making the decision of going over.Everytime when i need him by his side,he's always there for me,knowing him well enough(although only he can tell me whether i knw him well),this time round,it should be by turn to be by his side when he needs me. Since we were together, he never requested me to do anything for him, he nv expects me to sacrify anything for him.So i feel that this time, i should really do something for him.
From this experience of his, i really see that to be independent is really very difficult,and no one can be an individual in this world,that's why i always think friendster had made itself significant.We need each other's support and encouragement to survive in this cruel reality.Without him by my side this 2 years, i really can't image what i'll be like now.Somehow, i always say i won't change because of him,but i believe many of you who read this will know that i'm a changed person now.The tom boyish in me is almost gone, and the most drastic change is I'm not as strong as i used to be.Telling others that i can be independent without him ard is a lie, without him,i realised how much he had helped me this 2 yrs.Make me realise how dependent i'm on him.
Looking forward to seeing him next thursday morning.I'm trying to imagine our first reaction,will it be a hug?or tears all over our cheeks?or nothing at all?i'm really not sure.i don't dare to ask him, i don't dare to disturb him, i don't even dare to talk to him this few days,coz everytime we talk, he cries to me.Hearing him crying out his heart,pinches my heart too..It is a suffering to him, as well as to me.Although i try my best to comfort him.i always fail.I guess that's why his turning to his dad now.I'm such a useless girlfriend,can't offer him the love and care that he need from me.i'm writing all this up here,i guess coz i got no one to turn to..
Luckily i still have a buddy with me who is always ready to hear me out when i need.Thanks for asking me out on wednesday,just to relax ourselves and to catch up with each other again.Next week u'll be doing your SISPEC recourse,so i wish you all the best.I'll be away for a while, don't miss me too much.And hopefully u can hop over to OCS k!
I'm a lost sheep nw,waiting for god's guidance.I need to see that light again.Absence makes the heart fonder, then maybe that fonder heart will subside after a peak.
Today he shared this with me,given to him by his little cousin.It says ''Forever Love'',will it really be forever love? I don't know.I'm so lost,i hate this feeling... god!help Me....
As many should know by nw,i'm flying off in another 5 days time.This time,it's a tour and holiday break for me.An expensive one,but anyway i'll be on my own.I mean really on my own,without a tour group,without my friends with me,until i touch down in aust.Till now, i still have no regrets of making the decision of going over.Everytime when i need him by his side,he's always there for me,knowing him well enough(although only he can tell me whether i knw him well),this time round,it should be by turn to be by his side when he needs me. Since we were together, he never requested me to do anything for him, he nv expects me to sacrify anything for him.So i feel that this time, i should really do something for him.
From this experience of his, i really see that to be independent is really very difficult,and no one can be an individual in this world,that's why i always think friendster had made itself significant.We need each other's support and encouragement to survive in this cruel reality.Without him by my side this 2 years, i really can't image what i'll be like now.Somehow, i always say i won't change because of him,but i believe many of you who read this will know that i'm a changed person now.The tom boyish in me is almost gone, and the most drastic change is I'm not as strong as i used to be.Telling others that i can be independent without him ard is a lie, without him,i realised how much he had helped me this 2 yrs.Make me realise how dependent i'm on him.
Looking forward to seeing him next thursday morning.I'm trying to imagine our first reaction,will it be a hug?or tears all over our cheeks?or nothing at all?i'm really not sure.i don't dare to ask him, i don't dare to disturb him, i don't even dare to talk to him this few days,coz everytime we talk, he cries to me.Hearing him crying out his heart,pinches my heart too..It is a suffering to him, as well as to me.Although i try my best to comfort him.i always fail.I guess that's why his turning to his dad now.I'm such a useless girlfriend,can't offer him the love and care that he need from me.i'm writing all this up here,i guess coz i got no one to turn to..
Luckily i still have a buddy with me who is always ready to hear me out when i need.Thanks for asking me out on wednesday,just to relax ourselves and to catch up with each other again.Next week u'll be doing your SISPEC recourse,so i wish you all the best.I'll be away for a while, don't miss me too much.And hopefully u can hop over to OCS k!
I'm a lost sheep nw,waiting for god's guidance.I need to see that light again.Absence makes the heart fonder, then maybe that fonder heart will subside after a peak.
Today he shared this with me,given to him by his little cousin.It says ''Forever Love'',will it really be forever love? I don't know.I'm so lost,i hate this feeling... god!help Me....
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Results oh results.
wEeh.. i tot i can't fall slp last night. but i was really damn tired frm the walking ard town, so i fall aslp almost immediately.As usual, my dear always feel lousy after his paper, so i had to comfort him.i talked him out, hoping there he will feel better after that.but even till this morning he still tells me he got that lousy feeling abt himself. anyway i can see that uni life i really stressful, when u are all alone overseas, and your teammates are not co-operative, and yet you are still having alot of problem with the project. haiz, i think that's the worst senario anyone can come to right?
Wadever it is i hope he'll be ok soon..and hope he can hang in there, coz in just 1 more week, i'll be there to acc him le.Although it is temporary, but i still hope it will help him.
This morning, i can finally review my results frm the e-service. Okie, and this is how it goes.
Frm the very end of the exams, i keep telling myself as long as there is no Sub, it doesn't matter what shitty grades i get. As long as there is no subs. I pray to god everyday hoping that i'll be happy on the day i receive my grades.
Okie, then just before i woke up, i don't know what kind of brainwave was that, but i had a dream.Haha. and i dream tat i'm the only one in the class to receive a Distinction!! wow. so proud. then i woke up, haha it was only in my dream. Maybe the msg frm god was, hey dream on girl.. u think u so good.
Okie, so i turn on the comp eagerly to knw my results.then i had this
yup, so tat's exactly the same thing that i see. Okie problem is i should be happy right.coz my prayer is answered, and i should thank god.but somehow, i'm abit greedy here.
i'm starting to question myself, did i really work hard enough? erm, do i deserve better great than this? erm, should i have done this and done tat.. haiz.
okok i guess human being human, always expect more that what is given.I mean the more more the merrier right.But is that right? i also don't knw.
But i kinda had come to a conclusion, i should be happy, and satisfied with what i've got, coz this is the result of my hard work.
I must always bear this in mind, i'm not smart, i'm purely hardworking.
So don't blame ourselves for not having a high voltage brain power, but we have a powerful determination, and i guess that is more important. The determination to do well, will definitely rule out those who are smart by nature, but lazy and lack of determination.
Having said enough, i shall stop here.
I'm flying off to Brisbane to be with my dear in 1 wks time.So dear, hang on k.
Wadever it is i hope he'll be ok soon..and hope he can hang in there, coz in just 1 more week, i'll be there to acc him le.Although it is temporary, but i still hope it will help him.
This morning, i can finally review my results frm the e-service. Okie, and this is how it goes.
Frm the very end of the exams, i keep telling myself as long as there is no Sub, it doesn't matter what shitty grades i get. As long as there is no subs. I pray to god everyday hoping that i'll be happy on the day i receive my grades.
Okie, then just before i woke up, i don't know what kind of brainwave was that, but i had a dream.Haha. and i dream tat i'm the only one in the class to receive a Distinction!! wow. so proud. then i woke up, haha it was only in my dream. Maybe the msg frm god was, hey dream on girl.. u think u so good.
Okie, so i turn on the comp eagerly to knw my results.then i had this
yup, so tat's exactly the same thing that i see. Okie problem is i should be happy right.coz my prayer is answered, and i should thank god.but somehow, i'm abit greedy here.
i'm starting to question myself, did i really work hard enough? erm, do i deserve better great than this? erm, should i have done this and done tat.. haiz.
okok i guess human being human, always expect more that what is given.I mean the more more the merrier right.But is that right? i also don't knw.
But i kinda had come to a conclusion, i should be happy, and satisfied with what i've got, coz this is the result of my hard work.
I must always bear this in mind, i'm not smart, i'm purely hardworking.
So don't blame ourselves for not having a high voltage brain power, but we have a powerful determination, and i guess that is more important. The determination to do well, will definitely rule out those who are smart by nature, but lazy and lack of determination.
Having said enough, i shall stop here.
I'm flying off to Brisbane to be with my dear in 1 wks time.So dear, hang on k.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Today is your birthday, i guess it's lonely and boring ba.
this is specially arranged for you.Hope you'll like it. Sorry i can't be there with you today to spend your birthday with you, neither am i home to 'acc' you while you are working hard alone over there.But all the hard work will be paid off, that's what we always believe right.Too suffer nw, means we can enjoy later.I'll be joining you soon, in just abt a weeks time, hope you can endure abit more.I'm as excited as you are abt my trip over to brisbane. But for now, i still have something else to worry abt... so yups, all the best for your tml paper okie. Last one to go. Good Luck. I miss you everyday.
Friday, September 09, 2005
busy busy september??
hi all,
Yeah finally exams over,but result will only be released on the 15th Sept,and of coz, hope everything goes smooth,as long as I don't have to take sub-paper,i'll be happy le.
Let's see what i'm doing since holiday started..
On the 29th Aug, Went to sentosa for Attacks of The Otties,a get together with the yr 1 and yr 2.Had lotsa fun, actually it's like amazing race,but then erm, some cock up here and there,but overall great job to the yr 2 coz they are the one who made this outing possible..And the biggest joke of the day was, no one expected me to be the last to arrive,yet i'm the last!! haha..
On the 30th to 1Sept, I spent my day at Pasir Ris chalet with my class.. Thanks to elaine who booked that big bungalow,which i tot was quite scary on the first nite,coz i had to spent my night in that big room with eunice only.But great mahjong session too.Haven't touch the tiles since erm, dont know when.. but that 2 days i think i touch enough tiles le. Oh, preparing for the bbq, and the shopping trip with abi and wanying, plotting wanying all the way to make her decided on something was kinda tiring too..keke.. But overall the bbq was great,and thanks joseph for that special performance(magic aka con show),i think the class had lotsa fun...
Oh, and not forgetting that salivating cheesecake by josephine and elaine.Keke..
After that chalet, you are pratically too exhausted to do anything, everybodies drag their dead body home and slept thru the day i guess..
On 2nd Sept, I proceed for my first driving revision lesson.It was erm, how should i put it? horrible? okie lor? or what.. anyway i guess the 3 conductors are really confusing me up now,and i guess the rest of my revision lesson,i'll just be driving my own style ba.If i gng to fail the test also nvm,doesn't really matter for me,but of coz everyone hope to pass the first time right.So i'll just try my best keke. Nothing interesting in driving lesson,coz the instructor sucks, eat my money, waste my time, half way thru ask me to pull over for him to go toilet, still blame say i too jerky.What's his bloody problem.Nvm, if i pass first time, i'll complain him until siao.haha..
On weekend, supposed to be spent at home, but somehow i think i went out with my parents to town, walk ard, eat lunch in maxwell market,long time nv go there liao. But we had all the delicacy there. so i think i'm growing fat...
Then another week started again, I volunteered to help abi out at the MCYC student care centre. Haha , believe it out or, a pri 4 kid can tell me, 'you are very Lame!'So stunned by his words, i said,''Lame means cannot walk''.. hahha.. can't believe it.Frm that visit, it reminds me of my JC days, when my class volunteered to take care of a bunch of kids for a day, and even invited them to SA and had games with them.Fun, yet tiring, coz some kids just don't co-operate and gives you attitude problem.Same thing at the centre,they are just pri sch kids, and yet they use vulgur language free flowingly (if there is such term).. u know what i mean..But i had lotsa fun teaching this kid chinese spelling.Then i ask him when is his spelling test, he said he don't know,so i say isn't it silly to study so early, coz a few days later,you'll forget all the words again le,I mean it's true right, i always study spelling just before i go for it, so that it's all fresh in my head. haha..Then he told me not to curse him.keke.. i tot i'm just being frank.Anyway, wadever...
tuesday i went for driving lesson again, so that i can go help the kids to fly kite at West Coast Park today. tuesday lesson equally sian, so i don't wanna talk abt it le.. Oh yar, i went swimming under that bloody hot sun on monday afternoon, and leave me with that ugly tanline.yucks!! but hack lar,who cares. So after lesson, i wanted to wait for my mom to finish work, but it's too much a chore, so i roam ard west mall and IMM. in the end i got myself some clothes and some presents too.Ok then i was thinking what should i get for my bf,who will be spending his birthday alone,and somemore the next day got exam.Hope miserable right,haiz but no choice lar.So i walked and walked but din't see anything in mind.So i went home not getting anything for him.
So wednesday, nothing to do, decided to start running, and since then i have been running everyday.Running ard the estate can be quite fun too, go ard seeing new houses that had been rebuilt,and run ard the park with kids kicking soccer on the field.remind me of my childhood days.
Today i had a great time at West Coast Park with Abi, and all the kids.I mean, although the kites just can't fly no matter how hard we tried,or no.. i should say the children tried. and then in the end they all like quite sian diao, then play ball game, lastly go playground.But i guess the best part for them is the food.. Mchicken burger.haha.
Had alot of thoughts this week,maybe because he is feeling very depressed and miserable over there too.I don't know what else i can do for him already,other than just sitting down here and listen to him.I tot i'm understanding enough of his situation,i tot i gave him enough opinions to consider, but things doesn't seem to be getting better.But i only seem to lose him more and more each day.I guess they are right, study overseas makes u see alot of things, and change u into another person too..But they nv say whether it's better or for the worst. haha.. but gng overseas in the end make a person lose his confidence and interest in other things in life, is that a good thing or a bad thing.i also don't know what to say le.
Anyway i had to be much stronger than him now,so that only i have to worry for him and not having him to worry for me.As he thinks that i'm enjoying my hols here, actually i'm trying very hard to understand his stats too, so that somehow i can help him alittle.but that bloody stats is really difficult.so different frm what i have in my math notes.but i'm sourcing out.So anyone who have knowledge of stats for engineering can share with me.I hope he gets better each day, but everyday our conversation get repeated again and again, our topics nv leave that misery,tell me how am i suppose to help him, i'm getting miserable too.haha(fake laugh)
Anyway in another 2 more weeks i'll be out of town, i guess you all can deduce where i'll be.Yar, i'm flying over to meet him, to shower my love on him, and of coz hopefully to make him more at ease over there..After so long, he still can't settle down, then there is really something wrong.so my this visit is to go find out more why he's not ok.and try to cure him.I pray that he can do well for his papers and of coz after tat all his project will be smooth sailing le. No more hiccups, no more hurdles equals no more worries.
take care pple.i'll be back on the 8th Oct.Till then, see you.
Yeah finally exams over,but result will only be released on the 15th Sept,and of coz, hope everything goes smooth,as long as I don't have to take sub-paper,i'll be happy le.
Let's see what i'm doing since holiday started..
On the 29th Aug, Went to sentosa for Attacks of The Otties,a get together with the yr 1 and yr 2.Had lotsa fun, actually it's like amazing race,but then erm, some cock up here and there,but overall great job to the yr 2 coz they are the one who made this outing possible..And the biggest joke of the day was, no one expected me to be the last to arrive,yet i'm the last!! haha..
On the 30th to 1Sept, I spent my day at Pasir Ris chalet with my class.. Thanks to elaine who booked that big bungalow,which i tot was quite scary on the first nite,coz i had to spent my night in that big room with eunice only.But great mahjong session too.Haven't touch the tiles since erm, dont know when.. but that 2 days i think i touch enough tiles le. Oh, preparing for the bbq, and the shopping trip with abi and wanying, plotting wanying all the way to make her decided on something was kinda tiring too..keke.. But overall the bbq was great,and thanks joseph for that special performance(magic aka con show),i think the class had lotsa fun...
Oh, and not forgetting that salivating cheesecake by josephine and elaine.Keke..
After that chalet, you are pratically too exhausted to do anything, everybodies drag their dead body home and slept thru the day i guess..
On 2nd Sept, I proceed for my first driving revision lesson.It was erm, how should i put it? horrible? okie lor? or what.. anyway i guess the 3 conductors are really confusing me up now,and i guess the rest of my revision lesson,i'll just be driving my own style ba.If i gng to fail the test also nvm,doesn't really matter for me,but of coz everyone hope to pass the first time right.So i'll just try my best keke. Nothing interesting in driving lesson,coz the instructor sucks, eat my money, waste my time, half way thru ask me to pull over for him to go toilet, still blame say i too jerky.What's his bloody problem.Nvm, if i pass first time, i'll complain him until siao.haha..
On weekend, supposed to be spent at home, but somehow i think i went out with my parents to town, walk ard, eat lunch in maxwell market,long time nv go there liao. But we had all the delicacy there. so i think i'm growing fat...
Then another week started again, I volunteered to help abi out at the MCYC student care centre. Haha , believe it out or, a pri 4 kid can tell me, 'you are very Lame!'So stunned by his words, i said,''Lame means cannot walk''.. hahha.. can't believe it.Frm that visit, it reminds me of my JC days, when my class volunteered to take care of a bunch of kids for a day, and even invited them to SA and had games with them.Fun, yet tiring, coz some kids just don't co-operate and gives you attitude problem.Same thing at the centre,they are just pri sch kids, and yet they use vulgur language free flowingly (if there is such term).. u know what i mean..But i had lotsa fun teaching this kid chinese spelling.Then i ask him when is his spelling test, he said he don't know,so i say isn't it silly to study so early, coz a few days later,you'll forget all the words again le,I mean it's true right, i always study spelling just before i go for it, so that it's all fresh in my head. haha..Then he told me not to curse him.keke.. i tot i'm just being frank.Anyway, wadever...
tuesday i went for driving lesson again, so that i can go help the kids to fly kite at West Coast Park today. tuesday lesson equally sian, so i don't wanna talk abt it le.. Oh yar, i went swimming under that bloody hot sun on monday afternoon, and leave me with that ugly tanline.yucks!! but hack lar,who cares. So after lesson, i wanted to wait for my mom to finish work, but it's too much a chore, so i roam ard west mall and IMM. in the end i got myself some clothes and some presents too.Ok then i was thinking what should i get for my bf,who will be spending his birthday alone,and somemore the next day got exam.Hope miserable right,haiz but no choice lar.So i walked and walked but din't see anything in mind.So i went home not getting anything for him.
So wednesday, nothing to do, decided to start running, and since then i have been running everyday.Running ard the estate can be quite fun too, go ard seeing new houses that had been rebuilt,and run ard the park with kids kicking soccer on the field.remind me of my childhood days.
Today i had a great time at West Coast Park with Abi, and all the kids.I mean, although the kites just can't fly no matter how hard we tried,or no.. i should say the children tried. and then in the end they all like quite sian diao, then play ball game, lastly go playground.But i guess the best part for them is the food.. Mchicken burger.haha.
Had alot of thoughts this week,maybe because he is feeling very depressed and miserable over there too.I don't know what else i can do for him already,other than just sitting down here and listen to him.I tot i'm understanding enough of his situation,i tot i gave him enough opinions to consider, but things doesn't seem to be getting better.But i only seem to lose him more and more each day.I guess they are right, study overseas makes u see alot of things, and change u into another person too..But they nv say whether it's better or for the worst. haha.. but gng overseas in the end make a person lose his confidence and interest in other things in life, is that a good thing or a bad thing.i also don't know what to say le.
Anyway i had to be much stronger than him now,so that only i have to worry for him and not having him to worry for me.As he thinks that i'm enjoying my hols here, actually i'm trying very hard to understand his stats too, so that somehow i can help him alittle.but that bloody stats is really difficult.so different frm what i have in my math notes.but i'm sourcing out.So anyone who have knowledge of stats for engineering can share with me.I hope he gets better each day, but everyday our conversation get repeated again and again, our topics nv leave that misery,tell me how am i suppose to help him, i'm getting miserable too.haha(fake laugh)
Anyway in another 2 more weeks i'll be out of town, i guess you all can deduce where i'll be.Yar, i'm flying over to meet him, to shower my love on him, and of coz hopefully to make him more at ease over there..After so long, he still can't settle down, then there is really something wrong.so my this visit is to go find out more why he's not ok.and try to cure him.I pray that he can do well for his papers and of coz after tat all his project will be smooth sailing le. No more hiccups, no more hurdles equals no more worries.
take care pple.i'll be back on the 8th Oct.Till then, see you.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Two more weeks to a well deserved break
time really past fast, it's coming to an end of a semestral, looking aback at the first time i met my classmates..haha.what a joke.anyway, i'll be having my exams in the coming 2 weeks, and after that i'll be having my semestral break for 1.5months.Wohaha...
Kenrick had left singapore for a month le,although we try to talk to each other everyday,but i still miss him alot.The feeling of being apart is torturous,when i thought i can go through it, when i thought i'll be strong, but it's really difficult. Time does pass fast looking back at it now,but when i was in that shit, time was slower than snail's crawling i would say.
Anyway now i'm putting all my mind into my exams, of coz i hope to do well, and i'm telling myself that i would.haha. i will try not to be distracted, but some of you will knw it's impossible coz i'll still think of him.haha..
Whatever it is, nothing special or big is happening in my life,just plainly preparing for exams... okok.. Take care friends
Sunday, July 17, 2005
137 Days to go....
yes, i'm alone in Singapore now, He has gone to australia, If you wanna ask if i miss him, of course i do. If you wanna ask if i cried when he left, of couse i did. He was like my right hand, having him to leave me at this time, was really a challenge for both of us. We had been together for 2 years, i guess it's time god wants us to take a step back, and reflect on all our happy memories, so that we cherish each other presence. I still miss him, although it have been 4 days. Will I continue to miss him, Yes i will.Till the day i see him again. We still communicate thru msn, skype and webcam, but i guess the feeling is just different. All the help that he used to offer, all the things that we used to do together, i suddenly learnt to appreciate them, and really to think back, he had left me with many beautiful memories to reflect on. I think god for giving me this gift, he was my sunshine, providing me light and warmth. Ever since he left, the days had been long and gloomy. My life is dull and flat, i just miss him more and more as each day goes by. I cry whenever i think of him. I tot i am a strong girl, but somehow, i felt weak within me, i feel lost and empty. Maybe i still need time to adjust my life. But let me say this, if he hasn't been ard for the past 2 years,i really don't know if i can survive through my As, and do what i like today. I'll wait patiently for his return, i'll promise him to study hard, and i'll be his support. I'll make sure that he don't have to worry about me anymore. i'll be a stronger girl after this.
Now back to my studies, there seem to be continuous assignment datelines to meet, one after another, followed by test and then comes examination. Now that he's not ard me, i really need to depend alot on myself to study, i can't have him by my side when i study and prepare for exams, but he says he'll always be there when i need him. Anyway, i'm really trying to cope, and it's really very stressful. I hope i can do well, and not let anyone down(including myself).
To all my friends, whom i have been neglecting badly, I'm so sorry, but i haven't forget anyone of u.Once, i pass this exam, i'll look for all of you, and i'll spend my time with you all.I love all of you.
Friday, June 17, 2005
1 week of term break has passed...
1 week has past me so unknowingly.. only 1 more week to go.
always busy with project and preparing for the ICA, but doubt my ICA will be good this time round. as hard as i try to study, some things of physiology just don't go into my head. nvm, i'll try harder..
1 more month, and my dear will leave me for australia. of coz i wish him all the best in his studies over there, but i hope that he'll remember to think of me too.. but sometimes, i really wonder if i can think of him too.. that's only if i have the time i guess..
As i said, pple should be changing their views abt me gng to pursue my dreams in poly. but pple are still asking me why did i wanna go poly instead of University. haiz. i really don't know what else to say...
I have been thinking alot these days, thinking about my future, thinking about my past. Thinking of all the friends that i have not been hanging out with. Time doesn't seem to be on my side i guess.. so unknowingly, all my poly friends are in Yr 3 already.. WOW... so fast.. so furious,
i was shocked to remember that they are already graduating, and i have just started.. but i believe this is a different path, god always have his plan for all of us. I was looking thru my msn, and i say my buddy's nick, his say his is damn stress.. preparing for exams too.. but hey i just wanna say chill out man, don't be so stress out.. the more you stress, the worse you will perform okie. i mean certain stress is good, but not much!!
I was stress, but i have learn to manage it. I hope all of you will too.. writing blog really helps. heheh..
okie, i got to go now.
Take care my fRiends.
always busy with project and preparing for the ICA, but doubt my ICA will be good this time round. as hard as i try to study, some things of physiology just don't go into my head. nvm, i'll try harder..
1 more month, and my dear will leave me for australia. of coz i wish him all the best in his studies over there, but i hope that he'll remember to think of me too.. but sometimes, i really wonder if i can think of him too.. that's only if i have the time i guess..
As i said, pple should be changing their views abt me gng to pursue my dreams in poly. but pple are still asking me why did i wanna go poly instead of University. haiz. i really don't know what else to say...
I have been thinking alot these days, thinking about my future, thinking about my past. Thinking of all the friends that i have not been hanging out with. Time doesn't seem to be on my side i guess.. so unknowingly, all my poly friends are in Yr 3 already.. WOW... so fast.. so furious,
i was shocked to remember that they are already graduating, and i have just started.. but i believe this is a different path, god always have his plan for all of us. I was looking thru my msn, and i say my buddy's nick, his say his is damn stress.. preparing for exams too.. but hey i just wanna say chill out man, don't be so stress out.. the more you stress, the worse you will perform okie. i mean certain stress is good, but not much!!
I was stress, but i have learn to manage it. I hope all of you will too.. writing blog really helps. heheh..
okie, i got to go now.
Take care my fRiends.
Friday, June 03, 2005
i've finally return frm mars
okie, seems to be missing in action nowadays. although sch have finally settled, and classmates are almost fixed, i guess still trying to adapt myself into this presentation and project based learning curiculum. Pple who passed that poly stage, always tell me that poly life is super easy, i guess it's not true at all ba. Or maybe i need time to adapt. Anyway, i'm now picking up driving, and hope to get my licence by early next year. Not rushing, just don't wanna waste too much time and money on this.
Next week will be the ICA week, got 2 papers only.so it's quite okie, but somehow, expectation on myself is still quite high. guess it's all the pressure that I'm receiving from my parents ba.I mean, they din particularly forbid me from pursuing my dream, but they expect me to do well in it. okie, i'll of course do my best, but what if thing does not turn out well? erm, anyway, no pain no gain, shall see how it goes ba.
On the way of our course, i lost 2 classmates. One is a close friend of mine,Yan'an and the other a nice classmate, Madaline.I guess because of family pressure and the social stigma and stares that they get, they decide to go with the norm, and continue their journey to the University.
Sometimes, i just don't understand, why pple thinks that way.
We are not here because we can't make it to the University.If fact, all of us are offered a course in University, and most importantly, OT AND PT ARE FOR A LEVEL STUDENTS ONLY. was that a clear answer to everyone out there.. so don't think that we are doing this because we can't get to anywhere.. to us, it maybe god's calling, to others it maybe a dream of making the world a better place by helping others..
Shakespears think that life is all about acting, life is a show, and our life is about playing different Role,
huihui thinks that life is just like driving on a road, especially in unfarmiliar places.
We have our MAp and Roadsigns = our parents, or sometime God.
We have our Road = the path that which we choose to take.
We do have regrets too = the U turn that we are looking for.
However, this U turns are not taken for granted,
on the way of looking for a U turn, we learn new things too..
Why do we go to unfamiliar places?
Maybe cos we have no choice, = family pressure really do make us give up our dreams and desire
maybe cos we make a wrong turn at the front,= we have not found the right path yet. not every path or road suits everyone, some pple who loses their guide, what we need next is someone to support and guide us.Sometime Pressure from the society play a major role too!!
What so difference in Studying Medicine and OT or nursing? We are still health care worker..
Why us studying in Medicine so much more high class then OT or worse, nursing.It's just that social stigma that somehow can't be eliminated from us.
Somehow i wish that one day i can delete all the social stigma, but i can just wish..
Although i don't get tat stares and questions from my family members as they do understand what i wan and how i wanna pursue it. Maybe sometime we need to talk to our "Maps", we need to understand and read them.It definitely helps in reducing tension in the family.
I hope my entry here had enlighten some1, and i hope everyone will somehow reflect on how much you understand ur map and roadsigns.
God Bless All who loves him, and those who have yet to discover him.
Next week will be the ICA week, got 2 papers only.so it's quite okie, but somehow, expectation on myself is still quite high. guess it's all the pressure that I'm receiving from my parents ba.I mean, they din particularly forbid me from pursuing my dream, but they expect me to do well in it. okie, i'll of course do my best, but what if thing does not turn out well? erm, anyway, no pain no gain, shall see how it goes ba.
On the way of our course, i lost 2 classmates. One is a close friend of mine,Yan'an and the other a nice classmate, Madaline.I guess because of family pressure and the social stigma and stares that they get, they decide to go with the norm, and continue their journey to the University.
Sometimes, i just don't understand, why pple thinks that way.
We are not here because we can't make it to the University.If fact, all of us are offered a course in University, and most importantly, OT AND PT ARE FOR A LEVEL STUDENTS ONLY. was that a clear answer to everyone out there.. so don't think that we are doing this because we can't get to anywhere.. to us, it maybe god's calling, to others it maybe a dream of making the world a better place by helping others..
Shakespears think that life is all about acting, life is a show, and our life is about playing different Role,
huihui thinks that life is just like driving on a road, especially in unfarmiliar places.
We have our MAp and Roadsigns = our parents, or sometime God.
We have our Road = the path that which we choose to take.
We do have regrets too = the U turn that we are looking for.
However, this U turns are not taken for granted,
on the way of looking for a U turn, we learn new things too..
Why do we go to unfamiliar places?
Maybe cos we have no choice, = family pressure really do make us give up our dreams and desire
maybe cos we make a wrong turn at the front,= we have not found the right path yet. not every path or road suits everyone, some pple who loses their guide, what we need next is someone to support and guide us.Sometime Pressure from the society play a major role too!!
What so difference in Studying Medicine and OT or nursing? We are still health care worker..
Why us studying in Medicine so much more high class then OT or worse, nursing.It's just that social stigma that somehow can't be eliminated from us.
Somehow i wish that one day i can delete all the social stigma, but i can just wish..
Although i don't get tat stares and questions from my family members as they do understand what i wan and how i wanna pursue it. Maybe sometime we need to talk to our "Maps", we need to understand and read them.It definitely helps in reducing tension in the family.
I hope my entry here had enlighten some1, and i hope everyone will somehow reflect on how much you understand ur map and roadsigns.
God Bless All who loves him, and those who have yet to discover him.
Friday, April 29, 2005
back to school!
2nd week of school have end-ed.. things are starting to fit in nicely...
less surprises in sch, more interesting things are coming up.
i think i really like my class nw, and thank god that sarah is still with
us.
Yes, we almost lost her! she was almost transfered to OT0501. anyway,
it's over now.
I had a twin sister in class, twin sister coz the classmates thinks
tat we look alike.
Long hair, wear specs, have the same face..
blah blah blah.
anatomy class is super fun n thrilling, we get to see and touch the
cadaver. (of course not with my bare hands).
Anyway, physiology is 'fun' too.I now spend most
of my time with anatomy and physiology.
my life is not just abt studying of coz,
i also spent some time teaching a pri 5 gal, which
can be quite blood vomiting at times.
She is a active gal, who can't sit still. and always
forgets what i had taught her.and she keep asking me
abt coconut tree.. ahahhh
ok. ok. i shall stop here.. back to my study of physiology,
becoz monday is labour day, we have to do self directed studies.
sigh!
Saturday, April 16, 2005
It's a small world aftEr all...
okie, i was MIA for a very long time.. so long dat i dun even remember when i have login here.
I wasn't busy like you though, but i wasn't tat free too..
you can say tat i was lazing ard, but i'll not longer be lazing ard.
I'll be back to school really really soon... 1 more day! back to
school on monday.. If you asked if i'm prepared for it, erm..
i would say kinda, ready to get into action.. all refreshed and ready
to go.
Okie, let me tell ya the first day of being a Occupational Therapist..
Today is Orientation Day, i couldn't wake up, but i manage to get to
sch in time.When i was there, i met 2 familar faces, frm my pri sch. 1
is a used to be close fren in pri sch, but lost touch after leaving sch. The
Other was just a familar face which i often bump into whether in pri sch
or ard the area.(since she stay ard my house) okie, then there was a SA
gal there too.. although i din talk to her b4 in SA, but i talk to her today la.
okie this 3 person are in my class.. yeah!!! this means that i do have some frens
in the same course as me. hahah.
Okie they are none other than Sarah Li.. Tis name is surely familar to some of u
who are reading this. hehe. then there is Luyi frm Pei hwa, and Susan frm SAJC.
Of cos there is more.. but will mention the, later in my later entries.
other than meeting my new classmates, i met my senior class too.. they are fun,
and easy going.I definitly know more abt OT today. We played 'Tresure Hunt' in
order to know our school better.. and had lotsa talk but the course managers and
some councellors.. okie..
today meeting (orientation) had really allowed me to know more pple in class, and
to familarise myself in the new environment that i'll be in the next 3 yrs..
okie, i'm gng to stop here.. frm today onwards. I'm a passionate Occupational Therapist..
and i'll do my best to serve and to help others who needs help.
God Bless All.
I wasn't busy like you though, but i wasn't tat free too..
you can say tat i was lazing ard, but i'll not longer be lazing ard.
I'll be back to school really really soon... 1 more day! back to
school on monday.. If you asked if i'm prepared for it, erm..
i would say kinda, ready to get into action.. all refreshed and ready
to go.
Okie, let me tell ya the first day of being a Occupational Therapist..
Today is Orientation Day, i couldn't wake up, but i manage to get to
sch in time.When i was there, i met 2 familar faces, frm my pri sch. 1
is a used to be close fren in pri sch, but lost touch after leaving sch. The
Other was just a familar face which i often bump into whether in pri sch
or ard the area.(since she stay ard my house) okie, then there was a SA
gal there too.. although i din talk to her b4 in SA, but i talk to her today la.
okie this 3 person are in my class.. yeah!!! this means that i do have some frens
in the same course as me. hahah.
Okie they are none other than Sarah Li.. Tis name is surely familar to some of u
who are reading this. hehe. then there is Luyi frm Pei hwa, and Susan frm SAJC.
Of cos there is more.. but will mention the, later in my later entries.
other than meeting my new classmates, i met my senior class too.. they are fun,
and easy going.I definitly know more abt OT today. We played 'Tresure Hunt' in
order to know our school better.. and had lotsa talk but the course managers and
some councellors.. okie..
today meeting (orientation) had really allowed me to know more pple in class, and
to familarise myself in the new environment that i'll be in the next 3 yrs..
okie, i'm gng to stop here.. frm today onwards. I'm a passionate Occupational Therapist..
and i'll do my best to serve and to help others who needs help.
God Bless All.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Saturday, March 19, 2005
wow.. freedom smells sometimes
suPer BorEd at HomE
haSn't bEen feelIng very alRight since i stopped working last tuesday, have a fever and flu on wednesday, so i can't go out with my colleauges for dinner, den i stayed in bed the whole day..
got a little better, den dunno wad to do for the rest of the week .. felt tat it's long and boring..
went to the addidas sale, bump into so many pple, got ah dog, elna, quanju and the bballers.. ahhah.. ask me join them again after i'm out of the hall.. AM i SIAO.. hahah
I wan to qoute frm kevin,'' BLUE IS MY MIDDLE NAME''.. hahhaha..k, wadever it is, hope my posting come out soon, coz i haven't decided which course to choose in UNI, every course tat i wanna get in seems out of reach.. sucks la.. so i tot ABB was satifying, but it a very very very average score, and i really dunno where i can go with this result, without bio in JC, damn it, i kinda regreted not appealing for it den, now i have slim chance in life science, and biological science, and totally no hope for pharmacy la. haix... forget it.. i'll try chem engi, if not i'll just go eat shit and die. omg, i sound so pessimistic.. this is just not the usual crazy ah hui... hahah.. got possessed!!...
logging out here.. see ya all another time!tc , tata
haSn't bEen feelIng very alRight since i stopped working last tuesday, have a fever and flu on wednesday, so i can't go out with my colleauges for dinner, den i stayed in bed the whole day..
got a little better, den dunno wad to do for the rest of the week .. felt tat it's long and boring..
went to the addidas sale, bump into so many pple, got ah dog, elna, quanju and the bballers.. ahhah.. ask me join them again after i'm out of the hall.. AM i SIAO.. hahah
I wan to qoute frm kevin,'' BLUE IS MY MIDDLE NAME''.. hahhaha..k, wadever it is, hope my posting come out soon, coz i haven't decided which course to choose in UNI, every course tat i wanna get in seems out of reach.. sucks la.. so i tot ABB was satifying, but it a very very very average score, and i really dunno where i can go with this result, without bio in JC, damn it, i kinda regreted not appealing for it den, now i have slim chance in life science, and biological science, and totally no hope for pharmacy la. haix... forget it.. i'll try chem engi, if not i'll just go eat shit and die. omg, i sound so pessimistic.. this is just not the usual crazy ah hui... hahah.. got possessed!!...
logging out here.. see ya all another time!tc , tata
Sunday, March 06, 2005
tHank gOd for AnswEring my PrayER
i belIeve it hasn't been an easy week for any1 of us. yeS, dead worried abt our results, den dead sad abt our results, or dead happy with your results. which one are you?
it was a damn freaking moment of my life, my teacher, Mr Peh was suppose to tell me whether i passed my GP (a damn important subject dat i can't afford to fail) in the morning before collecting my result.hahah.. but guess wad, he din sMS me at all.. tat freak me out, or any1 who were in my shoe, my heart will thumping at my throat..
my CT, micheal taN came back personally to hand our result slip onto our hands, he din not comment anything, and i dunno if he was suppose to.. but he said jokingly, be prepared to rush to the GO later okie.. to retake A level.. hhahah
damn him la. have faIth in us man, his Class somemore lehz..
3 or more distinction holders' name were called out, and i'm not one of them, sucks.. my heart started to jump even faster, wad if i fail my As.. damn it man, i was cursing there.. hoping tat my name will be called out next. hahah.. anyway when i got the results in my hand, i jumped up. not sad, but happy.and most importantly, i'm satified, effort was not drained down after all...
Most importantly, i had proven to everyone who thinks i can't make it.. Who say i can date when i'm schooling.. who say having a bf when u are 17 or 18 is a bad influence..
dear juniors out there.. i'm not saying tat having a bf is right, but having a bf/gf who supports you, encourages you, and sometimes pushes you is good.. peer pressure is an important factor in my academic success... mainly coming frm Joanne Lee, a classmate of mine, and i guess an imposter of LIm hUI huI,which is me. take same sub as me in secondary sch and junior college.. always trying to win me in all the subjects and all major exams.. den later wan to go same college as me whn we completed our O level, now wan follow me to any uni course i'm taking ba.. she has been pestering me asking me where i wanna go.. so irritated by her.. can't she just stop there.. there's a limit you know.. anyway will be damn busy this week trying to register for my Occ therapy course in NYp.. haven't tot of a uni course as my backup.. and gng to send all my application for scholarship asap.. I hope god will guide me thru once more!! tHanks God!!!
aLso wanna thank my family and friends for beening so supportive during my 2 years in JC. and also my dear kenrick for supporting me, and encouraging me all the time, and push me beyond my limits at times of studies.. and also to joanne, thanks ah.. stop following me can...
lastly, to LIM POW HOW,if u have not asked me back for so many counsultation with ya, i bet i'll make it for my GP.. so thanks alot.. haven't got a chance to see ya in sch tat day, but i'll go back to visit. i promise!!
I love SAJC, I'm a SaInt.
Once a Saint, Always a Saint!!
''Up and On''
it was a damn freaking moment of my life, my teacher, Mr Peh was suppose to tell me whether i passed my GP (a damn important subject dat i can't afford to fail) in the morning before collecting my result.hahah.. but guess wad, he din sMS me at all.. tat freak me out, or any1 who were in my shoe, my heart will thumping at my throat..
my CT, micheal taN came back personally to hand our result slip onto our hands, he din not comment anything, and i dunno if he was suppose to.. but he said jokingly, be prepared to rush to the GO later okie.. to retake A level.. hhahah
damn him la. have faIth in us man, his Class somemore lehz..
3 or more distinction holders' name were called out, and i'm not one of them, sucks.. my heart started to jump even faster, wad if i fail my As.. damn it man, i was cursing there.. hoping tat my name will be called out next. hahah.. anyway when i got the results in my hand, i jumped up. not sad, but happy.and most importantly, i'm satified, effort was not drained down after all...
Most importantly, i had proven to everyone who thinks i can't make it.. Who say i can date when i'm schooling.. who say having a bf when u are 17 or 18 is a bad influence..
dear juniors out there.. i'm not saying tat having a bf is right, but having a bf/gf who supports you, encourages you, and sometimes pushes you is good.. peer pressure is an important factor in my academic success... mainly coming frm Joanne Lee, a classmate of mine, and i guess an imposter of LIm hUI huI,which is me. take same sub as me in secondary sch and junior college.. always trying to win me in all the subjects and all major exams.. den later wan to go same college as me whn we completed our O level, now wan follow me to any uni course i'm taking ba.. she has been pestering me asking me where i wanna go.. so irritated by her.. can't she just stop there.. there's a limit you know.. anyway will be damn busy this week trying to register for my Occ therapy course in NYp.. haven't tot of a uni course as my backup.. and gng to send all my application for scholarship asap.. I hope god will guide me thru once more!! tHanks God!!!
aLso wanna thank my family and friends for beening so supportive during my 2 years in JC. and also my dear kenrick for supporting me, and encouraging me all the time, and push me beyond my limits at times of studies.. and also to joanne, thanks ah.. stop following me can...
lastly, to LIM POW HOW,if u have not asked me back for so many counsultation with ya, i bet i'll make it for my GP.. so thanks alot.. haven't got a chance to see ya in sch tat day, but i'll go back to visit. i promise!!
I love SAJC, I'm a SaInt.
Once a Saint, Always a Saint!!
''Up and On''
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
1 and 1/2 days more to go. . .
This is a song i wanna sing to all of ya.
First
I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without a cert in my life
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from Cambridge (England)
I just walked in to find you here
with that blank look on the table the result slip)
I should have changed my stupid answer
I should have made you leave the answerkeys
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with grade Fs
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to study
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to study
I've got all my love to mug
and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my time
for something waiting for me
(Chorus)
hey friends, long time no blog le.. kinda missing in action too.. i'm anxious, i'm worried, i'm afraid, i'm petrified, i'm lost, i'm feeling all alone, i'm horrified, i'm terrified... wadever u can think of.. i hate this feeling, i hate to be kept in the dark. See ya all on JUDGEMENT DAY (4th March 2005).. let's pray: We'll walk in and out of school gracefully! aH man!
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