Thoughts ALoUD!

after a long hiatus

2008-04-14T21:37:00.005+08:00

end of my student life chapter
end of my Final Penang Placement student experience
end of my first and last carefree holiday

beginning of my therapist life chapter
beginning of my presence in a new family who were strangers even the day before we met
beginning of many difficult and happy times to come
beginning of a different life.

there was nothing else other than anxiety, excitment that filled the air around me since yesterday. anticipating of the big day to come. Today was the first day of work. My first day to become an official graduated Occupational Therapist.

Of course i'm proud of myself to have graduated from the 'nothing is impossible' course. which made me had a full experience of pushing myself beyond my own limits.
Today tasted the first sip of real working life. not in full force yet as it's still orientation day 1.

looking forward to tomorrow. anticipating what would be installed for me and Josephine.
As i continue to question myself if it is the correct decision to coming into this place, i am also starting to convince myself that i made the correct decision and just have to 按部就班 and do my duty dutifully.

next up, taking about my first and final carefree holidays.. i really enjoyed the korea trip. but maybe some parts could have been better if not for some companions with different interest problem.
but overall,enjoyed my time with him in Korea.Bought lotsa tidbits and edible memories home with me.haha

Just feeling contented with myself now.

I attempted the 'Gyro Drop'. It rotates you upwards, and without warning, bring you back to ground at a=10m/sec_square.

At the magical island of Lotte World (the amusement park whereby the drama serial stairways to heaven was shot)

That's me in Han-bok (traditional Korean costume)

Me and Kenrick in the tranditional Korean costume.

So much to reflect on.

2007-12-28T02:23:00.000+08:00

Last 3 days to 2008. Ask if i had achieved the resolutions set for 2007?

I really dont know, or in fact i can't remember. 2007 came? and it's leaving soon. oh that thought of how time had zoom pass me is scary. that's all i remembered.

Reflecting on the past year, many things around me had changed. there were new borns in the family. there were people that leave us. There were uncles whom used to be distanced, had become closer, there was uncle who supposed to be uncle but are now becoming strangers.

A trip to Penang, seeing the closeness of family ties even when they were seperated in land, how come it's so hard to find in singapore when we are merely seperated by drains and roads. It just makes me reflect what makes my family member not to treasure such an important relationship that money can't buy. Why is money always the root of problems.

A busy year in 2007 didn't gave me much time to think. It was all about doing. FYP, 2 months of attachment, assignments, musical involvement. No time for marathon, no time for fun no time for friends and family.

the first grandma death ani everyone gathered at my house. we prayed together as a family. How many of grandma death ani will everyone in the family remember and initiate to pray? will the next ani be the same, or will they just slowly forget her. till today her face remains vividly in my mind. all the happenings on the day that she passed away remains in my head, maybe that day will never be forgotten.

Progress of FYP had its up and down too. Nothing much to say, just hope that it'll all end soon. One year is just too long, already losing the interest and motivation to work on it anymore.

Models assignment is driving me crazy. Reflection is driving me nuts. Portfolio is a complete waste of my time too.

Sometimes the mixed feeling comes over me when i think about 2008, then i hope 2007 does go. Yet, if 2007 stays, i'll be stuck with all the models and portfolio assignment which i'm really dreading to complete them.

I just wanna have plain classes like (Quiz) and (flower biscuit) lessons. Those memories of open no., having class on the field and in the pool, having class in the lab where you can choose to sit anywhere you like. Just lesson without exams is fine with me.

I'll always miss my OT student life. It's really a major life changing event of my life.

3 years of OT student life will be ending soon, seems like yesterday i just collected my As results.hahaha...

I just wanna go on holiday now...

Thanks for the FUN!

2007-12-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

From A Slice of Life

2007-12-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

A meaningful message to share with all.

Afterall, it's coming to the end of the yr again. All misunderstanding should be resolved, forgive and forgotten. There should not be any begrudges against anything. All shall be resolved.

It's all easier said than done, and i'm trying to do that best.

It's a reminder to love your neighbours, and your enemies like how god had showered his love upon us. Christ Born to redeem us from our sins. We must learn to treasure it.

Christmas is a time of sharing and Giving. So a little message for all of you.

Three Principles for Fulfilling Relationships

There are three principles that we should understand well before committing to any romantic relationship. If you're already in a relationship, studying these principles intimately and practicing them will help ensure a lasting, satisfying relationship.

Unrealistic expectations are usually what drive a couple apart, so the first principle to understand is that your partner does not owe you your happiness. This may sound strange because why else would we want to enter relationships if not to find happiness?

Sure, we should derive joy from our relationships but our partner should not bear the duty of giving us joy. Joy should be the spontaneous consequence of two people sharing feelings of love for each other, not the result of one party constantly striving to fulfill the other's needs. When we expect our partner to make us happy, we set up opportunities for failure, and each time our partner fails to meet our demands, we lose respect and affection for him or her. Besides, love doesn't mean consistently giving in to our demands. And love doesn't mean always making us happy. What gives our joy may not always be in our best interests. And love can sometimes mean hardship and pain.

The second principle for fulfilling relationships is to love your partner for who they are. Don't love a fantasy version of them you hope will emerge in the future. Many people enter a relationship thinking that in time, their partners will change, but this often doesn't happen. Your partner entered the relationship believing that this is what you fell in love with. He or she doesn't see any reason to change.

Loving your partner for who they are also means accepting their flaws, or what you deem to be flaws. Each person has attractive qualities as well as some habits or characteristics we may not find so beguiling. But we should love our partners in spite of the qualities we don't appreciate as much as the others. There is no perfect lover, like there is no perfect gadget. You're always going to have to trade off certain features for other ones you find more suited to you. And when you run into conflict over those undesirable features, your love for the whole product should be more than enough to make you overlook the flaws and still embrace your partner. So ask yourself "If my partner upsets me, will I be able to look past the words and actions and still love the person?"

The third and final principle is to love and respect yourself as much as you love and respect your partner. This is because if you feel inadequate compared to your partner, you might become obsessed with fulfilling his or her needs and neglect your own. Over time, your partner will learn to take you for granted and you will no doubt begin to feel like you got the short end of the stick.
Maintaining fulfilling relationships is no easy job, but understanding and practising these three principles should help you a great deal.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit 'Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.

Joy to The World

2007-12-05T10:46:00.000+08:00

I know i shouldn't be blogging here and now, but i just want typed out all the joy and fun time i had over the weekends which i felt i had not had for a long long time.

Even though it's the busiest semester i ever had in my entire study life, but nonetheless, i managed to squeeze time out to have my well deserved break.

Over the weekend, i told myself to start working on my literature review so i won't have to do last minute work again. So all readings started on friday and lasted thru out the break.

Went to SiTeX @ Expo, got a Christmas gift from Kenrick. My new and powerful digicam. and then to John Little Mega Sale and both of us came home with a good bargain.

Saturday, even though i decided to stay home to do more readings, i nv thought i would end up in east coast park with my rollerblades on again. It's been ages since i last skate around in the park. When i said ages, it's really ages, since sec 2 i think. I had the best time of reminising on my blades. Oh how i used to blade around my estates with my friends when we were in pri 6, and how we tried to teach others to blade.

Sunday, is the day that god had made. Praise the Lord Day! ok, band friend Philip had a surgery in hospital, so one man down in the band. But we continued to pray for him. Then after lunch, it was singing practice, singing into christmas was a joy. Totally exciting i must say. Last time we say as a big group in church was for the Jesus Folk Musical, and now we are preparing carols for Christmas!!! " Come all ye faithful, la la lala la la..."

In the evening after more reading, had a fun time in the park playing Frisbee with kenrick. And then we headed for the gym for more workout before we had a warm and healthy steamboat dinner with his family.

whaT an accomplished weekend i had. and i yearn for more of such weekends. will they come soon?

On a Tuesday in School

2007-11-22T09:44:00.001+08:00

Kampong Glam 171107

2007-11-18T00:14:00.001+08:00

life sucks

2007-11-16T00:51:00.000+08:00

I want to officially Annouce this:

LIFE SUCKS

Give me a life without worries. Without woes.

Just joy so i don't have to worry about unneccessary things.

Aren't i busy enough alr.

SCREWED UP!!

2007-11-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

Life is just so screwed up with all the changes in timetable. And now for the bloody 6 credit points, i have to sacrifice a module tutorial for the sake of the interview. Why am I putting in so much effort and exchanging for so little in return?

Or should i not be asking for what i get in return and just GIVE. But reality is not just about giving without taking.

I hate REFLECTING on my own life.

Why mess up the bloody timetable?? And worse of all, none of the members in the group heard that. We didn't miss that out. We were rather SURE.. but why still we missed it..

Haiz. God's arrangement. FATED.

I defeat LOST.

Last Lap of the Chapter

2007-10-22T17:01:00.000+08:00

Nat and my mommy, on her way to her Ballet Session. And Nat with her new Alligator Float.

Nat is cool now, she just jumps into the water and swim. She invented her 'shark-style' too.

I only know what's frog-style.

Joraine, went to her grandma house and gave Joraine her little red shoes.

That's the little cap that i bought for her. Look at her fat legs.

First weekend of school term, busy busy busy playing.

Still heart not settled for books and all. but i'll do soon.i must i mean.

Sunday at church, talking about no discrimination against other religions, other culture and races.

haha.. then i'm a lousy christian.Friends who knows me, i always crapping about other races and colours, so from god's word, learn to love your neighbours like how you love yourself. Go do likewise what i had done upon you, and do upon others.

oh dear, i think i'll get karma soon. but anyway, till that day come, i have told myself that i'll stop. and hopefully i do stop joking about them.

First day of 2nd week, chaotic.

woke up late, thinking it's a sunday. raining, traffic jamming, running late for class with an empty stomach, forgot my book and anything bad that you can think of. but my lecturer was just as late, so i got thru that. phew!!!

Went to amk central to get something, parked my car and torn a parking coupon. But it was the wrong timing!!! Traumatising!!! When i came back to the car, i say the 'Feng Fei Fei' car park attendance standing in front of my car, luckily i rushed to her in time to stop her from issuing me the fine.

From a glance on her handheld PDA, she was almost done with keying whatever is needed.

ANOTHER PHEW!!!!!

Maybe there will be more 'sway' things coming my way, for now, i need some tranquillizer for all that had happened.

some pictures from the weekend. and also the exciting concert that i had attended on last thursday.

joraine's development

2007-10-19T08:47:00.000+08:00

she's now 4 to 5 months old.

a fat little kid, who laughs when adults laughs.

seldom cry, always a cheerful lil' girl.

but her mummy shaved her hair off. now she looks funny.

bought her a little cap. she just so lucky.haha

Natalie Doing Maths

2007-10-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

Joraine BOTAK!

2007-10-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

This is my neice in her botak hairstyle. Had to shave off her hair because she was losing hair.

Haha..

So the auntie suggested that the aunt(which is me) to buy her a cap and a pair of shoe.haha.

Holiday's OUT, School's In.

2007-10-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

It's been a long long while, almost 3-4 months since i last put my words here.

Anyway things has been going up and down for me and my group. But we are on the moving train now. Just hope the train don't stop or turn back.

Oh damn,

holidays were basically spent on FYP. managed to steal sometime out of the stressful Singapore and visited my aunt and my new nephew in BKK.

Visiting BKK this time without the aim of Shopping like everyone had thought i would. Basically i really miss my auntie and my good friend Vipa over there. So i stole some time off to visit them this holiday.

While I was there, i visited the long river of bangkok (sightsee floating market, Wat (temple in thai) and the royal palace of the King). Great experience. Watched the totally awful and ugly Tiger show which totally killed my appetite. the 'Tiger's were old and fat, totally unsightful. and it wasted my 600bht. Because Tiger show was so unexciting and unsatisfying, i returned to the transexuals of Bangkok and caught the Drag Queen of BKK.

Other happenings during my missing action was my involvement in the muscial in salvation army, but i didn't have any photos of that. Lately have the craze of baking and killing my family's and my bf's family stomach, so most time was spent baking at home,if not with FYP.

The Poster for the Musical. It was a fun crew of musicians Christians on stage that night.

The new member of my big family Joraine (the whole family pronouced it as Jo-Lin) haha.

Places I traveled around in BKK

A temple it's suppose to be famous . But i have no idea what its name is.

Ta-DAaaa.. That's my aunt and her son, Cooper.

Doesn't that prove that he has expensive Taste. He rejected a soft toy that i gave to him and grab the ang bow which my other aunt gave to him.

2007-07-11T20:10:00.000+08:00

Just too taken aback.

I'm one of them.

What more can i say?

Absolut Nothing.

Where are you when i need you?

Life SUCKs.

squashed up!

2007-06-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

it's tiring.
too tired to describe how i'm feeling.
all I can say is

I need a BREAK, badly.

I want to do alot of things, I wanna commit myself in alot of things.

But i dont have the confident to commit myself. I dont think i can handle all of them.

Exams coming in a barely 2 weeks time, but havent really started revision. Alot of things on hand,

so much so I can't handle them. Hard to process them now. Am I too late to start? Oh..

Believe in the Power of Prayers?

My grandfather had a blessing in disguise.

He tripped over the garden hose while watering the plants in one evening.

Had abrasion on his forehead and suffered from a broken nose.

But he's all well now, although still slow and careful in his movement, havent touch the garden hose ever since.

And more than that, everyone in the family is showing concern to him, everyone is paying him visit more often. And I'm glad that the family is showing him the care and concern, at least I know they still care.

That was one of my prayer to god. Now, I pray god to answer the rest of my prayers. Am I too greedy on that, but i'll just wait.

Keep working till I drop.

Ask God

2007-06-21T01:14:00.001+08:00

Thanks Susan for forwarding this pIcture to me.

Oh God, tell me why. Does troubles shadow me only?

"Ask and it will be given, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door will be opened for you"- Matthew 7:7.

Pray hard for me.

How do you feel

2007-06-15T22:58:00.001+08:00

How do you feel looking at his picture?

It was as if, it's cold, and lonely. There are 2 seats there. But no one on it. How lonely. Even the girl walking past it, don't bother to look at it. How lonely, oh, lonely.

Sometimes you just feel like, people rush pass you, not caring about you. You wanted some attention, but not getting any. Like those chairs, you hope that people will come sit on it, give you some warm.

Maybe that's how i feel now. I feel like the chairs. In the open winter grounds, lost, cold and lonely.

Life hasn't been better.

I just wonder, why is life so complicated. People in my life are funny people. I can't seem to understand how they think. Basically they dont think like me. When i said something, I do not have a double meaning to my words. But why do they often interpret it otherwise? I didn't even thought of that.

Yesterday, spent the whole day with my FYP(Final Year Project) Team, trying to come up with our research proposal. I like my topic, but it's rather a tough one.
And i got to celebrate Chelsea with her in GV Plaza, catching Ocean 13 at a low rate of only 5 Bucks. Chelsea said, my blood was worth it.
My blood cost more than $5 ok. haha.

Went to the dentist in the morning, did something to my tooth, and then felt unwell in noon, so i slept thru till the evening. Then i tried to do some work.

Maybe it's because i felt that i had wasted too much time sleeping that's why i'm feeling so lost and frantic.

It's right to say that I need more than 24 hours, but it's also right that Abi said, we only painted 12 hours on our clock and we already multiply it by 2. So i shall not be greedy and make full use of my 24 Hours.

I must accomplish what i set to do, and I must graduate to become a good therapist.

Put some sunlight out to melt those Ice pls.

H.E.C.T.I.C.

2007-06-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

it's been a busy week. busy with what? I'm not sure either.

School, School, School. and more school.

School work has now officially occupied my sunday too. oh that sad.

Misses church service for the pass 3 weeks. I told them i was hiding in the cave. haha.

I had no time, seriously. Still trying to catch up with all the literature readings, more refining of the presentation slides and now, still brainstorming about the role play.

Afternoon had more discussion about my paediatrics module. We need to plan a treatment session for the kid, who is diagnosed as ADHD. it was exciting, just as we talk about it, we got confused then got clearer and then got confused again. haha.. but overall, everything went on well in today's discussion..

I can't wait for holiday on thursday. and yesterday was a waste.

Intention to visit the history museum with my family(including my grandfather), i thought bringing him back to living in the 70's would bring back lots of memory. But in the end we didn't make it to turn back time. But i bought my grandfather to explore a new dim sum restaurant in Marina Sq, food was just fair, and expensive. Then i bought him to Central @ clark quay to shop. haha...

Soaking him in the GSS atmosphere was kinda fun. Enjoying Ya kun toast with a cup of coffee.. Chit chating was fun too. I hope to have more of such outings with him. hope he enjoyed himself.

Talking about him, i hope my cousins and aunties would come to visit him more often. Since chinese new year, i had not most of my cousins coming to visit grandfather. And I wonder why. Are they really so busy that they can't even spare a sunday once a month to visit him.

He needs not only love from my family, but his other children too you know. Don't regret only when one is not around, cherish him while he's still by your side. I already learnt my lesson. I miss my grandma. I really wanna tell her alot. alot that is always stucked at the throat just because we are not the kinda family that will express our loves outwardly to one another.

I repented. That's why i made a promise to myself to spend more time with grandfather now.
What about the rest in the family.

Grandfather's health is deteriorating. I can finally see him growing old. I can feel it.
From him, I see how Occupational Therapy philosophy holds so true.
Only when you are doing an occupation, you are a being.
Due to his inactivity, he's growing old, more health issue surfacing.

I admire my grandfather, and i pray that my dad can grow old like my grandfather. Old but still strong. Independent in all ADLs, minimum assistance in community mobility. That's why i admire him.

Updates

2007-06-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

It's coming to the end of the 8th week of school. June is here! that reminded me that 1/2 a year had slipped pass me.

Times flies, Kenrick will be coming back in mid-end July. That's fast. And he'll be a Degree holder by that time. And me, still a diploma student.

In the 8 weeks of school, life had been hectic, i should even be using the word "mad".
Life was totally chaotic. And Luck is definitely down on me since school started.
Prayers are not really working as well. Or maybe i should say, it only works 50% of the time.

Ever since FYP began, it was a chaotic life that I had. Staying back in school till 8 or 9 has become a norm for everyone.
Then everyone is rushing around for different meetings, and sometimes you think can i have 2 meetings at one time? sometimes i have to even lie that I'm on my way while I'm still in the midst of another meeting in one corner of the school.

My manager told my friend, if you can pass the course, you are up to face any crisis or challenges in life. Because our course is all encompassing. It drains you physically, mentally and even psychosocial. Let me explain.

First of all, you thought once you get out of school(at least after 18), no more NAPFA right. Oh gosh, we were told to take napfa this year so that we can graduate. Traumatised!!!
Then lecture is not the same like JC, you thought JC prepared you for tertiary right? Oh my tertiary was definitely different, my cohort only 34 of us. We don't see in auditoriums or lecture theater. We go into what we call Lecture Room, basically it's like a tutorial Classroom. Haha.. that's how well all lecturers know all the students and how the students knows all the lecturers too. So Lecturer is no longer like JC for me, where i can sit right at the end of the auditorium with the Swiss monks, and the BBall boys.. you can choose to pay attention, snack, or just turn off. Yes, we, at least me was prone of doing all these in JC.
But now, I think i'm even more hardworking, visiting the library more often than i visit the toilet(ok some exaggeration). I flip reference text more often than I flip the magazine. In class, you have to be wide awake, no slacking, no switching off, cos if you do, you'll be lost for the whole semester. Practical class is no more about pouring chemicals, calculating the no. of moles. Or connecting up the wires into parallel or series.
You get onto the cycle ergonometer, you do dips to measure your Volume of O2 consumption. You test your own body limits. (one tutorial still requires us to revisit our forces and torques though, and i thought i re-lived my JC days) and you do stretches, you do muscle facilitation, you do edema massage. Oh my god.tutor always speaks like a bullet train and with circular breathing, so your brain can't control your hands to take down all notes that she said so.. you see everyone walks out of the class like a zombie.
Lastly, the exciting thing is i was shortlisted for an overseas attachment. Although when i said out the country you all will think 'chey'. But to me, it's a life experience. Different in culture, different type of resources available. Different systems, different belief. I like the challenge. But still, i was just shortlisted, not confirm yet. Oh anyway it's a autism resource center in penang! dream of working with Kids again makes me smile. But I wish i can go for the nearer one instead of waiting till nxt Jan, cos i prefer the company of pple going this july!!!! Whatever it is, I'm still putting my faith in god, i'm praying hard that he'll listen to me and answer my prayers.

Why did i talk about psychosocial.. I guess the course and change the perception of self. Who I am, what I can do for the society.. I had changed me. Most importantly, it had taken up so much time of my present life that I'm missing church for 3 wks(totally guilty about that), changing dates with my friends so often that we dont have the chance to meet up even though i desperately wants to. And I who promised my previous clinical supervisor that i'll go back to the center when i'm free. but i haven't done so yet.

So many things to do, with so little time.
I can give myself a deficit now, I have problem with Time-management!

haha.. Ok back to my FYP stuff now. That's my life.

Random

2007-05-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

I just have to say this..

I
want a Break!

ok, heading back to more research and more work to be completed.

Peggy and Jasmine, We still have a movie date ok.

And Phpps peeps, we still have our supper date.

Life like Roller Coaster

2007-05-19T13:23:00.000+08:00

It was a fast and furious changing life this week.

The only constant is change. How true.

Suddenly my classmate wanted to quite the course, and then nxt day i'm glad he's back with us again.

When I thought things look on the right track and going smooth, I didn't had motivation to work on it anymore.

It was scary how I think about just stopping work and take time to reflect about life again.

Am I in the right profession?

But at the end of the week, I got the drive to work again. Prayers were answered. I got my strength again.

Now things are hopefully and seemingly back on track.

Just keep it like that. This what I pray for, now and forever.

Unspoken Truth

2007-05-12T17:56:00.000+08:00

When one day you felt neglected by the one you always want attention from, then take a step back. Have you already neglected the other loved ones around YOU?

Exactly, they feel that you had neglected them, forgotten about them. And consequently, we start to drift apart.

Everything in this world happens for a reason, and create a reason for the other things to happen. Just like a chemical reaction, one leads to the other. And Consequently, all this happenings turn back on you again.

I asked if it's ok to feel unprivilaged after being together for a long long time? Is it ok to feel that you don't deserve all the love and care from the person you thought of spending the rest of your life together?
Is it ok to just accept what things had become to be and leave it as it is? Or work harder for what you want to happen?

As I proceed into my last year of Dip study, you tend to do more reflection on action because you wanna start reflecting in action after you graduate. haha.. It might sound difficult, but a Good therapist should be able to do that, I think.

As god's words is speaking to me each day, I feel 'hope' and 'prayers' working.

BACK in School

2007-05-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

Yes, as my friends finish up their exams, go for holidays, go for intership, go for exchange.. i'm back in school..

Last Lap of School..

Ask if i'm sian.. erm.. alittle..
Dread school... for the first time, yah!

But i'm changing.. i'm loving play and school module.haha.
and i'm going to crash a childcare center and play with the children.. haha.. i'm loving it.

ok. for friends who still didn't know that i'm back.. i was back like 2 weeks ago. so you all can start having your gatherings and ask me along.haha..

Finally quote of the day:

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”
-Stanley Lindquist

Fraser Island

2007-04-12T15:25:00.000+08:00

Easter Weekend

2007-04-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

Still in Brisbane,

On Good Friday, I got the intention to attend the Salv Army church service over here.But was abit lazy to get out of house. So stay home the whole day as the rest visited the MovieWorld. According to them, no more diff, except 2 additional new rides called 'Superman' and 'Batman'.

So what did i do the whole day. Tried out some new dish, buttered mushrooms with Basa Freshwater Filet. Also tried T-bone Steak for dinner. It was nice, easy to prepare and easy to cook.haha.. Had intention to go running by the river again, but it showered in the afternoon. So I spent the rest of the time checking his tutorial and helping him with his assignment.

On Easter Saturday, Went out to Harbourtown early in the morning. Shopped at the factory outlets of Adiddas, Nike, Esprit, Converse, and many other more. Walked around had Kebab for lunch and continued walking around shopping for more clothes. CAn't find a nice bikini for zhen nor a nice heels for crystal. So I just continued walking around.

After that, travelled down to Surfers Paradise, went to the beach, had photos and saw at the beach. Then we had a hot choco from Starbucks cos it was chill windy today. finally shopped around more and proceed for dinner at a Jap Restaurant. Portion was good and it said on the menu, Perfect Satisfaction. Indeed so.. haha

Now, time for pictures....

Touring Brisbane

2007-03-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

Arrive at 7 in the morning, however because Kenrick lost his way to the airport, i had to wait for him until around 8 plus before he picks me up from the airport.

Weather is just fine here. Nice breezy weather.

By the time i arrive at his place, i was just too exhuasted cos i didn't sleep on the plane. Busy entertaining myself with Flushed away and happy feet. Played nintendo on the plane too.

Just rest for that day cos i was too tired and he was busy with his work.So we didn't go out.But anyway i was having fun snapping silly photos in the house.

On Friday, I went to Southbank, one of the suburb of Brisbane, where Griffith Uni is located, and there was a queensland art performance center there.(Just opp the city). I went to the beach to get some sun, and witness 2 boys fighting. Haha.. It was a Chinese and an australian fighting. Of cos i was hoping the chinese will win.Haha..

Bought Fish and Chips back for kenrick who was busy mugging at home for his mid-sem exam to reward him.. and the chips were too much that he saved them for supper.

Today visited the weekend by the river market in west end, where pple can cheap veg, seafood and some plants and flowers. so i snapped photos along the way again and helped him with some grocery.

Went jogging by the Brisbane river today, it was far and tiring but i enjoyed the jog.

Bored while waiting for kenrick

Fish & Chips from Decks

West End Market

NEGATIVITY

2007-03-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

You know how sometimes you just wanna check out your friend's blog to see how they are doing, because you felt so ashame that you have not been catching up with them after such a long time, with all the excuses that you are busy to shoo your friend away. I think i'm one of them.

After flipping thru the blogs of my friends, all i can say is everyone seems to be having different times of the year. Some are happy, some are sad. Some are just waiting for their happy moments to come, while some are foreseeing their sad moment arriving.

All i can say is i'm guilty of neglecting my friends for the past 2 years. All the time, i had been using busy with school as an excuse to turn down meetings with my friends. But the fact was I spent most of the time at home, not all the time mugging. I also can't remember when was the last time I did something meaningful.

Today i read about the problems that my friends are facing, then it made me realise that my problem which i thought was the end of the word is so minute compared to the problems that my friends are facing. And why am I making a big fuss out of small things. Am I just not aware how fortunate I already am compared to many others.

From this attachment I had really learnt alot, and had totally changed my perspective about life. How fragile life can be, how a fever and a insensitive person can change the whole life of a little innocent one. How things can change overnight, or even how much hard work can really change fate.

Although Kenrick had returned to australia to complete his last semester of studies, i still miss him, and of cos i still hate to look at his backview leaving me further and further away. But what is that compared someone not being able to withstand a long distance relationship. I should be considered lucky right.

Although I know grandpa's health is deteriorating, but he's still smily, going out everyday on his two own feet, and what is that compared to my friend who's grandfather not able to walk on his own anymore. I should be glad that god had been blessing us right, even though i lost my grandma just a few months ago.

Some nights i still miss grandma. For the past 2 days i was on MC due to a virus attack. Coughing, sneezing through out the night. Then grandma was the person i thought of when i woke up in the middle of the night. She used to be the one coughing thru the night when i was sharing the same room with her. Now i kinda miss her cough. When i'm ill, she'll definitely asked me if i'm feeling better alr. She was the one who will wake up in the middle of the night, make sure my blanket is on and turn off the aircon if it's too cold. But I'm so ashamed of myself, I never said thanks to her before.

Being sick let me reflect alot on myself, being on this attachment let me reflect alot about life. Being alone in this world, make me realise how important friends are. Being afraid of loniless makes me wanna find my friends again.

So dear friends, can I be your friend again?

HAPPY and CONTENTED

2007-02-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

After the last birthday celebration.

I started my attachment on monday.

Early intervention programme for infants and children.

Don't worry. I haven't jump course to Early childhood, still an OT student.

Basically, now i see children everyday. 7 days in a week.

Monday to Friday, children from the center, cheerily and bubbly, some teary and clumsy.

Saturday, active children in gym, have his own character and never able to manipulate him into my way.

Sunday, that smartie monster, natnat, who just can't stop talking or even sit down quietly unless she's eating. And even so she still need to talk when she's eating.

That's my life for the next 6 weeks. Even though it's only the beginning, i'm hoping that this can last forever.

I can understand how the mother feels so heart pain when they hear their precious child cries...

Sometimes, i admire mother who let their child continue with therapy even though the child is alr crying her lungs out.

But at the end of the day, it all pays off..

Cos you just earn a simple, innocent smile from the child.

That makes all the pain go away.

Today, that child who cried in session, said 'byebye' to me, and gave me a nice big smile (i can even see her teeth).

Life is just so Simple!! life is just so Beautiful like James Blunt had sang it.

I'm loving it.

it's been a long time

2007-02-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

Finally, i'm posting again..

Haven't got a time to breath since school started again just about 4 weeks ago.

I just can't believe how time just zoom past us these days.

Next week i'll be back on attachment again, and this time i'll be facing the kids.

Not that I dont like them. But what if they dont like me? haha

Anyway I'm all ready for the challange ahead to be in the Paedatrics setting alone.

Today is the start of my study week..

So many things going thru my mind, so difficult to settle down to study.

As i celebrate my friend's 21st birthday, as I finished my semester last week, as the lecturers summed up the lecture..

I just start to define my path/future again.

Why am I in the case i'm?

Looking as the seniors graduating in April/May, and thinking that i'll be my turn next. I wonder where will i be heading to?

Who will I become after the 3 years of life-changing learning experience?

Lotsa questions, but hard to answer.

As i looked back upon what I had accomplished so far, the places that I had been to, the pple I had met, the lifes I had changed (Regardless better or worst, i dont know myself either), am i a changed person now.

As i gathered with my pri school mates, looking back at the silly times when we do silly things, and now where everyone had turned mature with a different thinking and principles about their life. Are we still the same?

The only constant is change, what an irony, I that what life's all about.

Random thoughts.. incoherent thoughts.. Must be the lecture on spirituality, the best practice service for palliative care and the book 'tuesday with morrie' that is making me reflect so hard.

Time to hit the books again.
and just let me live with my feelings this time, without thinking.

Can life be like a bed of roses?

2006-10-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

I just hates it when it comes to quarrel.

Sometimes i really dont want to be the one to say sorry.

Sometimes i also dont think i'm at fault, not saying that someone else is the one at fault either.

But why is it that there should be disagreement.

Can't 2 unlike be together. like pple say the opposite attracts?

i'm tired with all the disagreement and discussion to come to a agreement.

GOD I WANT YOUR STRENGTH.

it's over!

2006-10-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

2 wks of hols is finally coming to an end. I can smell the book again.

this 2 wks had been a really busy and tiring and at the sametime, fun but yet some parts are disgusting time for me.

Recap of all i had done:

- met up with my 2 JC class mates.
But then sad to say i didn't meet with Peggy and Jasmine.
Hey Peggy, your bday is next sat right? happy birthday. hope can meet you.

- went out with my classmates for movie
watched John tucker must die and You, me and Dupree.
But havent catch Rob-B-Hood with my mom.
Anyway brought some dvds back so can watch with him when he returns.

- went for photography trip.
Erm went to Clark Quary before attachment and beach Road during this 2 wks.
but haze spoils the photo.so didn't take much picture. Discovered a cool place though.

- drove into JB for the first time.
cool and fun. No hiccups and i returned safely to singapore at the end of the day. Of cos i didnt went in alone. But i dont know if i got the chance to do it again or not.

-started teaching a O level kid who's tking his Os this yr.
the boy is ok, willing to learn.But i only have a month left. He should be able to pass,but i dont know if he can do really well.

IF you have realised, everything i listed there had it's good and always end with a BUT. Why is it that pple are like that. Nv satisfied with what they had alr done and achieved. Always want only the more, the better, and sometimes even the BEST.

I want to learn to be satisfied with what i'm given.

Psalm 27

2006-09-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

The Lord is my light and my salvation -

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life -

of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,

when my enermies and my foes attack me,

they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord,

that is what i seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enermies who surround me;

at the tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face" Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;

you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path

because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me,

breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.

Amen.

Amazing Grace. Love the Lord.

2006-09-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

Congrats! Uncle got out of ICU today. He's now back at the general ward.

Progressing well, and road of recovery is smooth for him. Seems like prayers are working.

We prayed really really hard.

Now i can go kayaking with a peaceful heart. i'll visit him again later in the evening before meeting my pri sch mate later in the night.

Thanks Yuli for hosting us at her house, and Chunrui for that horror but funny when watched it with Sarah & Yuli dvd.. if can lend me the show again so that i can watch it with really horror.. haha

ok.. just wanna give thanks to the Lord and praise him for his guidance and strength.

Continue to work in the prayers and keep close to him.

Follow the light.

Give Thanks.

It's Amazing Grace!

Life is getting beautiful again each day.

Just wanna remind all who are ill and weak, recovery is not instant, continue to work on it.

Life is so vulnerable...

2006-08-31T21:45:00.000+08:00

Driving around Singapore like a mad dog..

i had never been so familiar with CTE... and today i used it 3 times. incredible.

Traveled down to the hospital, then back to sch. Back to Mhss to visit my teachers.. and then back to the AMK yuli's house then back to hospital again.

Wow.. busy schedule, and it's back to back somemore.

Why i say life is so vulnerable?

Cos we never know what will happen to us in the next moment. As i joy over my results of the practical exams, i wish i can share it with him (uncle and kenrick).But both are now ill.. I don't know if my results will make them feel better though.

I knew negative things will start coming out of his mouth, when he merely commented that mobility is the most important in my life.

But how can i just let that comment pass me by. I should have said something encouraging right.

Right after i left the room, i know he started sharing negative thoughts with aunt. So insensitively i walked back into the room awhile later, i noticed something wasn't right, but nothing came out of my mouth. I don't know what i could say too..

Because he hasn't been moving for almost 48hrs. his fingers are swelling abit. But thanks to the occupational therapist who prescribed the anti-embolism stocking to him, the legs were fine. Hence i started to message his hands and help him with abit of finger exercise to lessen the swell.

All i wanted to say is immobility is only temporary. He'll soon be out and walking. He even said to me, i'll jog with you and train you for your 10k marathon. Just wait and see.

Where had that spirit gone? where is it? let's find it back ok?

On the other side of my mind, i had to start reading up on my clinicals stuff.. Next monday, i will not be visiting uncle until i end work at 5.45pm. and then i'll go home and continue mugging. I can foresee my life to be like tat until his discharge.

Ok, we just learn different lessons everyday, be it new or relearn things we had once learnt, or even learning new things from what we had learnt. Lessons are never the same, and everyday we live differently. So treasure and cherish everyday and every love one around you.

God loves his children.

I just want to say,"Thank You God".

2006-08-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

Today, uncle finally underwent a 10 hour op.I'm not kindding.. it was so long. And thank god, now he's fine. But i'm sure he's also in pain.

Early in the morning, i fetched aunt to the hospital.We were there by 6.45am. and by 7.30am uncle was sent into the operating theatre. I holded his hand tight just before he went him, and i said, i'll be waiting for you to come out ok?

Somehow, uncle is like someone important in my life now. Taking care for him for the past 5 months and accompanying him to follow-up appointment and all the search to the answer of his pain, we went thru alot together. Staying with him also made me realise that my family is regarding me as an grown up now, that they are trusting uncle into my hands. And i must say i really tried to take care of him.

After seeing him into the op theatre, i sent aunt home to rest and rush home to help my sister to bake cookie for our pri school teacher. I mean we actually still have common teachers together.

Then at around 1.40pm i rushed back to fetch aunt back to the hospital and we waited eagerly for uncle to come out. But by 3.50pm he was still not out yet. So i asked the nurse on duty at the op theatre, she told me they just started the op. i was like this is not possible.. ok luckily at 5pm, i asked another nurse and she checked and told me that they are closing up the wound now.

Then at 6.10pm, i asked the nurse again (now u can see how impatient i'm), and she used a really chim word which none of us could understand, but tat word just mean trying to wake the patient up before sending him out of the op theatre.

Okie, finally at around 6.30 i saw someone who looked, not looked like my uncle. His head was wrapped up with bandage, and all connected to monitor and tubing.. and was pushed to the ICU for observation.Hopefully he'll be out of ICU by tml (depends on the doctor). Anyway he's fine now.. and he was awake and i managed to talk to him. However, he was masked so he used his fingers and wrote on my palm.. And with the months of telepathy with each other, i'm actually able to deciphere what he wanted to tell me. Even i was amazed by that. Haha... where did that mo qi come from man. Anyway, aunt tried to talk to me at the same time, so i wasn't able to catch the last part..

The whole day, i prayed and i prayed.
As i wait outside the op theatre, i prayed harder and harder.
As i waited outside the ICU, i prayed more.. i prayed for everyone.
As i received his SMS that he was running a fever, i prayed again for everyone.

I guess today i lived by prayers. And thank you god. You answered my prayer.

Just last request, hope he will recover asap , i'm talking about uncle and my bf.

i need more rest. i need to start on my Neuro revision.
I need to set my heart for clinicals, and i hope i can do well this time.

Continue to live by prayer and talk quietly to god.

Life should be more beautiful than this.

At the end of Clark Quay Outing...

2006-08-29T16:25:00.000+08:00

I was on my way home.This was taken at Little India Station. All by myself..There was not a single soul in the station, or the underpass.. Do you still there to walk there?

In the end i did, to make myself feel less scary... i ended up taking the souless underpass. what's ahead and what's behind me... Exactly nothing..

Haha...

It was an enjoyable trip all thanks to Chelsea, Crystal and YuLi.. We shall set our new destination soon. So we can go photography again..

Clarke Quay 6

2006-08-29T03:05:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay 5

2006-08-29T03:03:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay 4

2006-08-29T03:01:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay 3

2006-08-29T02:55:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quary 2

2006-08-29T02:54:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay 1

2006-08-29T02:40:00.000+08:00

Clarke Quay Photography

2006-08-29T02:01:00.000+08:00

Finally Finally exam's over. And back on my photography trip around singapore again..

Today's spot...

Clarke Quay

i met up with 3 other friends, chelsea, crystal and yuli for a photography adventure around Clarke Quay. Met them at the station at 6. Was alittle late, coz i went to JB in the morning..

Anyway although i didn't take as many photos as the last trip to chinatown. I tot the photos came out really different from the last time..

I realised that it's much harder to take night shots then in the day.. and to get the really nice effect, i tried not to use the flash and tried some exposure and some focus at the centre spot.. and effect came out ok... i wanna explore more on manual function of the camera then just taking auto function shots.. coz it's so auto that the shots dont come out very nice.

Anyway, we chilled at the thai restaurant, food was gd.oh but this time we didn't take the food.. and i chewed on a carrot-looking chilli from the tom yam goong... Hot spicy hot.. can imagine see steam fuming from my nose and ears.. and bloodshot looking eyes.. haha..

Then we started walking to liang Court, visited the Meidi-ya supermarket (no longer Diamaru) and then i watched doramon with the little jap kids.. got caught red handed by chelsea. Haha..

Chilled again at Starbucks.. 4 shared a cup of Java Chip Frappucino, and we chatted.

Now Aussie trip is off, looking forward to backpacking in Vietnam. hope this trip would come true.. wait and see how. Still planning in progress, can't say much.

Really glad that the upcoming attachment i would be able to meet the oldies and the "experienced grown up kids".. Always my hope to get posted to tat area of practice, and my wish finally came true. Hope i get to learn alot this time, and hope i can make full use of my 4 wks.

Busy schedule this wk. need to revise on my neurophysiology too.. then look at the different approaches.. i have to start something and at least know something before i go out there...

now enjoy the photos.. i'll post more along the way..

Inspiring Talk... i'll never forget

2006-08-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

Today, after paper, stay in school for a inspiring talk by the first visual impaired man in singapore who owns his own first guide-dog in singapore..

How cool was it?

Super duper cool. He even brought his doggy along, and my class took a class with her too.
He shared with us the troubled he had with the community about having a guide dog and moving around in the community. He told us all the trouble he went to get guide dog ilegalised in singapore and allowing the blind to own their guide-dog and allowing them in to shopping permises and everywhere and every corner of singapore.

He shared with us the trips he went overseas, and the different things he "see" thru all the travels he had overseas. And then he even shared with us how guide-dogs are shared and how he advocated for the Visually impaired. He was so independent and so unbelievably strong-minded and business-minded too.. haha.. and now he's importing all the assistive technology for the visally impaired. I admire his will power.. i think i can never beat that.

Then 2 seniors who went over to Japan for their 4wks of clinical attachment shared with us their clinical experience there and the culture shock they had. and the communication breakdown they had with the japanese supervisors and how they had to act out what they did to "talk" to the supervisors. Was a interesting and pretty humorus and relaxing presentation by them.

Overall, impressed and inspired by the talk tonight. And i'm so spurred on to do something for these pple..

Inspiration shall spur me On..

Oh i'll miss my basil in the hydroponics. Coz i can't possibly bring the whole hydro pond home.So they are staying in sch. and i guess i won't get to see them unless i go back to sch.

Qn now. Should i head straight back to my music tml? or should i give myself a well deserved break?

Ans: I still don't know.

NON-STOP!!!

2006-08-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

Freedom?

Yeah.. freedom. for a wk? finally it's over, and a break i waited for so long. Plans? no plans...

What should i do tml.. should i go to piano straight and play my feelings and stress out?

Should i just sleep in the whole day. Funny feelings, mixed feelings. Not that i'm not happy that exams are over. But suddenly the intensity of living seems to be missing now.I sound sadistic, but really, i think you live life the fullest when you are studying and pursuing goals in your Life.

This one wk. i must play my hearts out and prepare myself for clinicals.

I got great realisation today..

Life is an never ending serial..

Everyday is like a epsiode continuing yesterday,

and every chapter of your life are like a different sequence of the long serial. Just like there is Superman, Superman2, superman return. And then later maybe superman return2.. who knows what's next.

Every different chapters there are different obstacles. Seems like everyday you meet into different crisis, all kinds of trails and temptations.. and then i wonder, is there a day when you can just sit yourself down and start reflecting..

Now that exams are over. I am reflecting on what i had done in this world for the past 20yrs. I am asking myself, had I made my life meaningful, and had i made an impact in others life? Have I made true friends, and have i done what i want to do?

At least for the past 1 month, i had really been trying my best to keep to my resolution. I tried to be a gd student and i tried to balance my life with work and relaxation. However, i won't say it was a gd balance after all, but not so bad.

One thing i really miss, the band. I haven't touch my instrument for 2 years. What had happened to the passion that i used to have over music. The bunch of music lovers whom i played music with, appreciate and even cry over the music.The pple that i played with and pple standing below giving us their ovation.. wow.. moments of performance clicks in my head.. moments of competition in VCH and virgin performance at the esplanade 3 yrs ago.. Oh man i totally miss the band, and also the band trips to aust.. although it was aust almost everytime.but i nv regreted going..

Reading blogs where they reported on attending the most recent SAV @ Esplanade, participating in the performance.. looking at all the pictures. i just hate myself not going.. oh how i miss the band and the company.. the music we make and everything.. and where was I when everyone was enjoying at Esplanade. I was mugging For BSM at crystal house. Not that the session wasn't useful at all.. but i just wish to have both the cake and eat it.

Then was Ritz @ National Day. Great memories, courtesy of Chermaine. I enjoyed practising nothing but BSM PRAC again,but interestingly in RITZ CARLTON, and then watching the fireworks in front of my eyes. I was at 31st storey lehz.. great view, great company, great time. No regrets..

And then after this, never ending of sleepless nights, mugging for papers. And all i had with me was Winnie the Pooh and coffee. And eventually i turned into the periodic caffeine Addict.haha.. now that it's over..

I'm trying to look ahead at what i got for the next 6 Wks.

Just last night, uncle seem to had insomnia, maybe he's getting nervous about his op next wk. He off the light, but later got up again, and was scribbling on SUDOKO... haha, maybe that's one of his coping skills for thought stopping. But i could feel that tension he had in him,but he didn't want me to sense it, so instead he showed more concern on me. Constantly checking on me, to make sure that i'm doing ok. Asking me not to sleep too late, and always ask me if the paper was ok. and told me not to be worried coz everything will be fine. I'll be accompanying him the whole of next wk. i promise. Next wk will be spent with him and aunt. going malaysia with them on monday. and then admit him on tuesday, op on wednesday and then hopefully everything will be going well on thursday.. and get him accompanied all the time coz i know one thing, he's scare of staying in the hospital alone. he hate that place.

And then after next wk, it's nothing but clinicals.. hope i can do better this time, coz i really like to get hand-ons, and do something meaningful and impactful. I would hope that everything goes well and i can practise in the arena that i'm interested in.. and hopefully not in community.. You know how i can't stand pple doing things slowly.. oh man, thoughts of it makes me shiver..

Then after 4 wks of clinicals, 2 more wks of hols. can i go brisbane again this time? erm, i'm really keen of going, just waiting for my 2 other friends to decide, if not, where can i go? somewhere cheap, who can recommend.. but ideally i still wish to go brisbane la.

After hols, i'm starting school again. oh, year 2 sem 2 here i come.. not like i can't wait, i just wish things will be better...

Haha.. all this thoughts can be overwhelming to me coz it's just scary to even think about them. That's why i'm shutting off. I wanna slp well tonight, i wanna turn off my brain and let it have a gd rest, it has been running non-stop and i think it really need a time out.

ok... hope i can catch up with peeps before they all get into their own busy schedules again.. pple pls meet up with me next wk ok..

Meanwhile, Take care.

When you gain something, you lose something

2006-08-22T19:27:00.000+08:00

Today, i learnt how to spell "Death" and i lost the meaning of "Life"..

I just can't believe this actually happen..

Having spent don't know how many sleepless nights just to study for exams.

End up, it just doesn't worth all the time and effort your had put in.

It was the infamous killer paper.. i can't belive he actually did some stunt again.

Everything thing i could prepare based on his past yr paper.

0 repeated.. really i meant 0..

and then i had to dig deep into my head, but ended up i could only write like 3 points for a 12 marks question. Oh god. were you helping me?

Anyway i learnt a lesson, past yr papers are distraction. They don't always work as antedotes.. so you still have to depend on yourself..

Shocked when i glazed up and saw my friend's paper fully filled.but mine only half filled..

I was utterly muted.. then i ask her how was it she said dead too..

So wat's on her paper.. Rubbish.. Coz the whole class kinda picked question to study.. but all was wrong..

Maybe that's why we are not psychiatrist. coz we can't read others mind.

haha

ok last paper to go.. i going to gain more the next round and loss the minimal.

LET IT BE!

2006-08-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

JUST walk behind me... look at my ASs...

2 more papers to Go. So far so gd.

Revising for Exams is So sucky.

End up you only get like 4 hours of sleep a Day.

How to survive?

Life can't be lower than this moment now.

So watch my Ass coz i'm going to move faster and prepare myself for the Last 2 Papers.

2 papers but 5 different subjects. Wow.. Siao liao.

COP 1A = Biomechanics + Intro to Mental Health

Behavioral Science 2A = Abnormal Psychology + Behavior Modification + Patient-Practitioner Relationship

Wow... Overwhelming man.. I just can't wait for thursday to be Over...

Waterfest in Singapore is coming, on the 2nd and 3rd sept, at kallang Basin..

Featuring Watersports, and free tryout of kayaking, sailing, waterbiking and wakeboarding too..
I'm interested to go down..

http://www.waterfestsingapore.com

Friends if you are interested to go, ask me along ok.. haha if not i'll ask you all along.

Ok, back to my lonely island.. 4 more days to gO..

wishing her all the best in her exams

2006-08-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

She would be having her exams tomorrow. it has been a very tough sememster for her. Never ending reports to write and test along the way. i m sure she must have forgotten how much reports she had done this sememster. yet at the end of the day, there is no study week and even 2 prac test and 2 reports to hand in just before her exams start. there is so much things to memorise yet there is so little time. preparing for exmas is already so tough yet she do not have study week, making life even much harder. I know she had already put in re best effort, looking at her suffer makes me sad as well. i wish i can o more for her but there is really nothing i can do. only thing is worry for her and pray hard for her. i hope god will see how much effort she has put in and let her do well this sem. if her results are not good again, i hope she would tell herself she already put in her best effort. it would b again very sad to see her cry over her results.

these few days i have been feeling very down, i think the main reason is because she is feeling down as well due to her exams. only now that i realise how important she is to me. she used to cheer me up but when she is now on the opposite end having her exams, i just cannot cheer her on because i have my own worries as well. she has been a fantanstic gf, always there to for me whenever i need her and despite her own problems, will still try to smile infront of me. i know deep down she is very scared about her exams. i wish her all the best in her exams. hope we can see each other soon. loving her with my life...

more pictures from EKKA

EKKA... ken

2006-08-15T19:00:00.000+08:00

This was my first time gng to EKKA...what does it stand for, i m not sure my self. but it is just a huge exhibition show. I went with all my house mates, had laska for lunch, specially prepared by ChinWen. It was nice. we set of with a very full tummy. It was quite fun but abit expensive i feel. 15bucks for the entry and plus transport we had to pay about 20 bucks. but it is ok, it was an experience. this is such a big show that there is a public holiday for it.

I thought it would be very interesting. intially, it was quite amazing to see horses, and other animals. but the smell was quite bad, after smelling all the animals, i felt giddy and the entire day was quite bad. there were alot of animals to see, like fish, dog, etc. after walking awhile, it was abit boring i feel. of cause there was also fun fair. the part i would prefer is buying of show bag. Show bag is something where they put alot of things into a plastic bag and sell it at a lower price. although it was abit cheaper, alot of stuff in teh bag was quite useless, therefore i did not buy anything excpt a soft toy for my gf. i would be keeping it for the next 4 months before i return to sinapore to give it to her. i hope she likes. as you can see, it is quite cute right. at night, we went to see motor show and fire wworks, that was nice. motorbikers were doing sunts and 4 racing cars were moving round at very fast speed with great precision to do sunts as well. it was amazing how they can drive that well. overall, it was a good experience but i guess it is just worth going once a year, quite tiring coz alot of walking. I just wish my gf would be there with me, it would definately be more enjoyable. miss her so much.. even while enjoying, i would still think of her, thats y i bought her that soft toy.

getting out of hand...

2006-08-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

DISCIPLINE

IS ALL I NEED...

i wanna live by my bOoks, i wanna live without sleep. I wanna live like superman!

i'm shutting my doors, shutting all forms of communications.

i want to go to lonely island, with my books.

Life can't be more lonely and pathetic than studying for exams.

I like schooling, without exams. who doesn't.

I wanna be Minister of Education for Once..

I want to change the system and do away with Exams!

I want to make everyone who feels like me feel not pathetic again!!

haha...

it's just a dream. I live life with dreams and hopes, because

Someone told me, " dreams do come true, and miracles happen".

My next qn is, "When is my turn?"

Going back to my lonely island. Signing off for next 2 wks.

i hope someone will keep this blog going, unless he's going to be busy as well.

december rolling blade

2006-08-03T09:32:00.000+08:00

Today she sms me telling me how she wish we can go rolling blading together during dec and how much we enjoy each others company. I would like to emphasis how true this is as everything that I did with her, I really enjoy it. Things like gng out for a short movie, plying wosi-basi in e arcade (so old still go arcade), gng out for lunch together. Every moment spend together is so nice and thinking of them is making me miss her so much. As she prepares for exams for the few weeks, I wish her all the best. I know it is tough and even if u study hard does not mean u will do well. This is uni life and I know exactly how it feels. Study hard does not mean one can do the paper when it is so different, during exam condition how to think? haiz…this is life, just get through it ok. I love her.

I wish I was there to help her with her report

2006-07-31T10:00:00.000+08:00

I had a 9am class today and was walking back. while listening to my mp3 plyer, I missed her so much. I was thinking of the time when she came over in Brisbane just to accompany me during my first sememster. We had such a great time. I was so happy when she told me she might be coming over here again this time but only for a short 2 weeks. I really hope this would come true as words cannot describe how much I need her. Especially with so much worries right now, i am feel very lost. My thesis just started and I am very unsure how to go about doing it. It is a study on antennas. Another big decision is weather i should continue with EMF subject or change to DSP. Both have their own difficulties but I think I might just go with DSP. God please help me along the way even if i made a wrong decision...

Yesterday, she was rushing her report. Looking at her, I wish i could be there to do all the finishing touches for her. although this might be a simple job, it could as least ease her mind off to do other work while i do the contents page, cover, alightment, printing, etc. All these may also take up quite alot of time. Throughout the one month back in Singapore, I was helping her with all these and I really enjoyed it. I never complainted at all because I was so glad to be helping her. As long as I see her not so stressed out, I would feel happy too. It certainly feels the same for her but all I have done is to show my stress to her. I know it would make her feel very sad whenever I am unhappy. It is not easy at all to enjoy urself and who says going overseas to study is enjoyment. everyday is so stressful!!...

I miss her and hope she would cope well with her school work. I love her....

always loving hui,
Kenrick

Kenrick: She is my motivation

2006-07-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today was my first day this sememster cooking for everyone. the usual life starts again as i had to cook dinner once a week for everyone. There are 7 ppl and each of us take turns to cook. luckily i have my friend to help me if not it would be real tiring.

I was just broswing through the picture that my gf and I took in Batam. although it was only a very short trip (2day1night), it was so memorable. Although it was a month ago,it is still very fresh in my mind. going back to singapore and straight away gng for a trip with her was all i could dream of. the kind of excitment is unexplanable. however, I now have to face the fact that we are being seperated once more. One week of School just ended and I am very worried about so many things. everything is everywhere, I am feeling quite lost, alot of things I do not know but no choice, i know i cannot just give up like that. I will try my best to push on but somethings hundles become so hard to climb that you just want to give up. I always ask myself that would this be worth it, I really hope at the end of the day, my efforts would be paid off and I could get the results that I hoped for.

My gf is in a worst situation now, with all the test and exams around the corner, what worst, she has 3 reports to hand in. I totally understand her feeling as I have been through this before, but I cant imagine myself in her shoes. There was an incident when i had 2 reports and 1 assignment to hand in, already I was struggling. It is really not easy to handle the mental stress as while u r doing this thing, ur mind would keep thinking about other stuff that is undone. However, she is much stronger than I am. She is working very hard as well and I hope my encouragement for her is enough for her to carry on. Just bear in there ok, I know it is tough, I will always be supporting you all the way. I am sorry I cant do it physcially but I will pray for you every night. In one way or another, throughout my past one year, god has helped me alot so I believe he also can see ur hardwork and help you as well.

I would always love you with all my heart. 3 years is not a short time and every moment spend with you is so precious. I have nv regreted having you as my other partner and I am really glad you have given me the chance to prove I am a worthy boyfriend. Hope I have not dissapoint you so far, I promise i will provide you with happiness for as long as possible. Lets hope that there wil be more beautiful years for us in the future...

...

2006-07-28T18:35:00.000+08:00

Today, I Miss Him...

basically, i'm feeling blue and my mood is grey..

I feel weak and tired..

I just don't feel like moving at all..

Preoccupied thoughts flowing out of my mind,

3rd order neurons flowing, but 1st order motor neuron not responding at all..

Not even reflexes are working...

Life has momentarily stop. I just wish to stop forever..

Life in sch is really stressing me out..

Life without him seems to be turning gray..

Lastly Life is not beautiful anymore..

Reports and more reports dateline to meet.

Not last minutes,has been pacing myself,

but still not meeting target.. How low efficient I'm.

Although my dearest hp had been missing for a few weeks,

i still miss it alot.

Haiz, Life has no colour anymore...

Last week dinner together,

this week dinner on my own.

Last week should have just stop at last week..

I wish for holidays to come.

I'm breaking down soon...

Accumulated tears are flowing out of the lacrimal gland,

seems like that is a blockage of lacrimal duct,

coz tears can't be absorbed, and it just can't stop.

I'm not strong anymore.

Today, I Miss Him...

2006-07-27T21:20:00.000+08:00

I know that she is suffering, having studied so hard for her prac test yet it did not turn out well. I know she must be saying should have went to lab more often but given that limited time, that was the best she can do so it is ok my dear, we tried out best so let the outcome be what it would be. Alot of times we regret what we are doing becoz we meet alot of obstacles along th way but this cant be helped. Life is not perfect. Nothing is easy and especially as studies get to a higher level, no more like secondary, there is no time to ply and take it easy. Hardwork does not equal to output. At least we have to put in our best effort and just pray to god that at the end of the day, he knows what we are doing and can see how much effort we have put in.

She is so nice to let me use her blog to publise something here. I am just too lazy to create an account. I think for the next few months, this would be another communication tool with her. I miss her hugs and kisses, remember very strongly the last day when we were walking down to adam road for a simple dinner, I had mixed feelings. I may seem undisturbed but deep inside me, I was happily having dinner with her yet I am feeling sad because I can countdown to the number of hours before I board my flight back to Australia. I do not know how to describe that kind of feeling but at the point just hoped that time would just stop there so that i just eat nasi lemak and prawn noodle with her.

I miss her so much, no one can replace her in my life, she is my motivation, my soul, my everything. I cant imagine life without her. As this is my first time blogging, I wish to tell the whole world, I LOVE YOU. Lets now hope we would not have to be seperated again after my degree...

he left me on a jet plane.

2006-07-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

Just as i'm writing this post. he's already on the plane.. i just sent him off about 4hrs ago..
This time, i'm strong. I didn't cry at the airport anymore.. but i still miss him very much. Although this is already the 3rd time we are seperating at the airport, but everytime i just miss him more and more. This time we seperated with more fears and more worries for each other.i'm really worried for him if he'll be able to manage the stress level there. Studying is really not easy, especially when you are all alone..

Exams are around the corners, but reports still not completed yet.. and wat's more still got practical exams before paper starts. hAiz.. life is really tough.. don't know how to score.. just wish i can do reasonable well.. but feel tat i'm already lagging behind alot.. i dun know how i can catch up.. too much for me to cope..

Feeling sick on the last 2 days i had left with him.. but still tried to put up a strong front coz i know if i'm sick he'll sure be very worried for me.. but now..i really feel weak..so weak tat i can't concentrate studying..

Tml will be a new beginning.We will be living 2 hours apart again.. Everyday will be a new beginning now.. i just have to live with it until 5 months later.. when will there not be anymore seperation..i'm waiting for that day.

i miss him.

today is a bad day.

2006-07-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

I LoSt my HandphOne...

today i lost my handphone which was only 3months old. i could only blame myself. How sleepy head i was, just board the train without checking if i left anything behind. and how sleepy head i was, didnt even realise i lost it, until i reach yio chu kang mrt station. Anyone who were at Newton MRT station on the 12th July 2006 at around 8am. If u witness anyone stealing a Samsung D600-C from a black purse, pls contact me or tag me here..

Tat kind soul actually return my purse with my cards in it,but not with my handphone in it. I dun know whether to be happy or sad. I mean tat handphone had lotsa of feeling attached to it, and had witnessed many events during this past 3 mths. ok, being sad is one thing, i had been sad for almost the past 12hours, despite all the encouragement and comfort from my friends and loved ones, it's not helping. For once, mummy didn't scold me for being so blur. but i'm still blaming myself. Anyway friends, i had lost all contacts, so pls send me your no. ok..

Another 4 more wks to exam.. scare and worried.. fearful of practical exams.. hopefully reports and pract exams will pull me up otherwise i can see no As again... Anyway case studies were quite interesting this time, and the visit to IMH was eye opening and it's much much better than the other place tat i went last sem.. haha..

Encephalitis, AIDs and HIV, Epilepsy, Dementia, Depression.. this is all i'm reading on this whole sem.. anyway, pple go read Lifewise if you have tat small leaflet, there's issue on OT.. if u wanna know What OT does, can ask me for that issue.. i can lend it to you... bye..

2006-07-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

some shots of us in batam.. it was a great time there, and really got to get myself away from stress although at some time, i was till think of my oink oink when i was there.. but had a great fun and hope i can go there again...

Anyway it's already coming to second wk of the 2nd term of my 2nd year in NYP.. time is turning really fast.. really scary also.. hope i can commit fully into my studies now,coz play time is over..my lecturer was saying the occupation of the child is to play and maybe go to school? i'm no longer a kid so wad's my occupation? only to go to school and do well? aiyo.. i also dunno la.. also confused...

Let it be.. Let it be..
Let it be.. Let it be...
There will be an answer..
Let it be....
- Beatles

FInal FantAsi

2006-06-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

Finally it's all over.. This is the final product. But do you notice something missing..

Anyway for those who still dunno what this animal is, it's a pig.. it's called oink oink.. some pple will know why it's called oink oink.. anyway i took me about 2 wks to complete it.. and the brown stuff on the ground is mud not shit ok!?!

I was away at batam.. will put more photos on my batam trip when i'm more ready.. it was funny.. did cable ski there, and i completed 4/5 of the route.. i'm satisfied with that performance... haha. had lotsa fun there, despite it being short, only 1night stay.. but it was still fun.. i think i should ask more friends to go nxt time.. will be much more fun.. we can camp together and stuff... Tat's why i said, there is always 2 side to a coin, just like there's 2 side to batam..

Today, did a case study on a HIV positive case.. and my facilitator passed a remark, imagine wad will you see him doing outside working time... will he being queuing at harbourfront to batam.. haha i was laughing to myself inside, i always thought my facilitator was an open-minded person, but now i know... she thinks of batam as dirty too...

But batam is just dirty and backwards.. the only irritating thing about batam is that the horn is not used as an emergency tool anymore, it's a tool they used to attract tourists to take their taxi... i was like WTH.. total noise pollution on the street man, especially when i was walking in town with my bf.. they were about to recognise us as tourist just by one look.. i was amazed..

anyway gtg... will post nicer pictures nxt time.

2006-06-22T12:40:00.000+08:00

a)

b)
erm, hi pple, can you do a poll for me? which is nicer to include into my report? A? or B? erm, can't make up my mind.. rushing out my creativity report by hook or by crook by tonight, coz will be off for a short short and i really mean short getaway at batam tml.. so have to rush my report..

hope everyone's doing fine.. and i guess all my classmates are crashing their report now as well.. i like the idea tat i gave to crystal.. really dreamy and abstract.. i like.. can't wait to see my friends' report and product too..

lastly i can't wait for him to come back.. another like 18hours i can see him face to face.. haha... i hope the sky hurry darken, and dawn to come. but then i still got alot of report to rush before i can go batam tml..

Wad a delimma.. girls are just indecisive.. haha

bYe.

before and after

2006-06-21T00:33:00.000+08:00

Before and After.. My progress for today.

Creativity.. my piggilla

2006-06-20T12:36:00.000+08:00

One and Only piggy..

i'm thinking of giving my piggy a name. then i tot of babe in the city.. and then i tot of gozilla when i saw the picture down there.. then i tot why not call it Pig-Gilla.. haha... so that's where the name come out from. now my pig-Gilla is all white and under the fan to dry, hopes it doesn't catch a cold there. i'm gng to stay designing the layout for my report. i'm hungry..
and some one said the pig is nice.. haha achievement neh...
haha
got to go do my report liao..
ciaoz

Glimpse of fifa World Cup 2006

2006-06-20T10:15:00.000+08:00

2006-06-20T09:40:00.000+08:00

kenrick is a mugger

2006-06-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

My Mugger Boy!
Jiayou!
counting down another 4 days!
I'll pick you up at Changi Terminal 2 ok?

missing you..

I need inspiration for my creativity and counselling..
I want creativity for my creativity..
i want counselling for my counselling..
haha.
came out with a conclusion with zhenzhen, because our mother
are called the same name, tat's why we both have double names..
huihui & zhenzhen, and her sister is called, peipei.
wad a jokE!

Holiday is not coming! Hell is...

Just missing you

2006-06-16T08:57:00.000+08:00

I'm Missing You!

It's raining cats and dogs early in the morning at 8am. I got up to realise i forgot to set my alarm clock.. everything is starting to not go right. Then i realise i'm gng to sch later at 10.which means i only left with 2 hrs to revise my work.
But it started raining cats and dogs, not tat i don't like rainy days when i was just complaining that the weather is so humid last night tat it made me restless.. but then i don't like to drive in rainy days.So ma fan, especially when the aircon is not working so well. oh dear.i can see trouble coming.
Anyway, he finish his first paper yesterday, first thing he told me was "no hope".. How pessimistic can you get my dear.. and continue to say he only know how to solve it when he walks out of the exam hall..oh dear. can you tell me what's wrong? too stress? mental block?
Anyway i think we should just concentrate on the other 2 papers, as long as you tried your best already. There is no regrets even the results didn't turn out to be excellent. But i know you'll still pull thru coz you are such a lucky chap. God's with you as long as you pray to him.
Can't wait for you to return in exactly a wk's time and we can be off to Batam. I hope it doesn't rain cats and dogs in Batam too, coz i dun wann be stuck in the shelter.. i want the sun to relax and shower me with warmth.. and with you around, i'm such a fortunate girl.. I wanna go soak in the sun,and enjoy cable skiing, parasailing, and even bungee jumping if you dare. I wanna do all the ACTION there if i can. Although it's just one night out, i think it's enough to just let me recharge and get ready for the next term.
Really feel burned out this hols. Having some activities almost everyday, can't really settle down to do my work too. and now, i'm blogging.. wad the hell.. i just miss JC or Secondary sch hols when i can just go band and band everyday. and leave my work and revision to last min or late at night and i'll still feel full of energy to study.. but now, as sun goes down, my morale and energy goes down with the sun. Especially now that there's no sun, my energy is not up too.. oh dear... i only have one more wk to complete so many things.. i don't have time.
I just wish every hols i can be there with you, with this rainy feeling, i just miss you even more. I wish we can be next to each other and give each other warmth. Looking at all the past photos that we took together, i just wanna cry it out and cry to my eyes swell so that you can come back to me.. but it's not going to work. I know i have to complete my work by 1 wks time, but the intrinsic motivation is not there yet. How??
Someone pls push me, and ask me to wake up!

my daddy

2006-06-14T20:48:00.000+08:00

This man is my dad... usually i don't talk about him, because he's just too good. But seriously he needs some credit too. Without him, i really dunno who can handle the devil and demons in me and my sibilings.
My daddy is a man who doesn't like pple to flatter him, so whenever pple praise him, he will say it's not his effort alone and will say other does more than he did..
He is a hardworking, although he doesn't work 2 jobs, but he treat his job seriously. Although he is not working under pple noses, but he bring himselves down to his workers and behave just like one. He is always there for his workers and will help them as much as possible.
To the Family, he tries to give his best and be there whenever he can. Recently, he tries to spend more time with the family but he still spend more time at work. He is tanned, and often mistaken as a blangadesh. His degree of tan is how much time he spend working under the hot sun, earning bucks for the family.
He's a good man, he tries to listen to us, gives us the freedom to make decision and make us think about what is right or wrong. He discipline us like little kids, but tries very hard to treat us as adult now. But he told us, no matter what age you are, in my eyes, you will always be my children. even until the age of 50, if i'm still around, you are still children in my eyes. He might sound really protective over us. but the hidden meaning in those words are, he loves us for no matter who we are.
I thank him for trying to understand us so well.and finally accepting and being proud of me to be in this Occupational Therapy course. Thank you for not objecting my choice anymore. Thank you for recognising that this path that i had chosen will be a bright future. and thank you for listening and helping me whenever i'm in trouble. I'll never forget those times when you teach me how to park the car and the times when you'll do art work with me, and come into my room just to check on me, to make sure that i'm fine and breathing(heheh). I know you care, you just don't say it out loud that you care.
I love you daddy..
Happy Fathers' Day.

Occ as therapy at Fort Canning

2006-06-13T07:47:00.000+08:00

It took place yesterday.. no time to put up the photos. but will do it really soon! so stay tune~ haha

2006-06-11T09:12:00.000+08:00

Yue Ding - Guang Liang

Listen to that story.. Tells a tale of a lover, who had a pact to meet together after 3 years of seperation.But then later things didn't turn out right at the 3rd year when they suppose to meet...

Is long distance relationship so vulnearable?Can a lover really not stay together if they are seperated.. I read on 'Shape' magazine and there was this small article that physical intimacy is important in a relationship! oh pls.. didn't you also hear that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Anyway no matter a relationships works out or not it depends on not just physical intimacy. it's the trust, the faith and the support that you give one another.

i felt that that story was alittle similar to mine, except tat we do see each other in between those 2 yrs. so life is not as made. And soon after his return,it'll be my turn to leave this place. Looks like god is trying to make fun of us, but i believe love is still strong enough to withstand all trials and temptations.. that is what i mean by true love.

Somehow, trials and temptations also make love stronger at the same time. wad a reciprocal relationships.. they just can't do without one another.

I wish all lovers (whether short or long distance) all the best, and learn to cherish one another starting from now, not only when you lost them.

My friend said, she's happy being a single, but also misses the being loved times when she sees and hears lovely couples around them.. I got no comment, but i believe no one lives on this planet alone. So even if you are single, you still have your partner( might not be your lover,but a really gd friend or family member with you) so god never make us feel alone!

2006-06-09T20:19:00.000+08:00

Friends ? what is the definition?

A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO SEES YOU THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD. A TRUE FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY AND IS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE SAD.

The LORD Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend in John. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the pure example of a true friend for He laid down His life for His "friends." What is more, "who so ever will" may become His friend by trusting in Him as their personal savior, being born again and receiving new life in Him.

Jesus also gave a parable concerning friendship in Luke. "And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Luke 11:5-10).

In other words not even friendship could move this person to open the door in the middle of the night but the "importunity" or the persistence of the knocker persuaded the friend to open to him. The lesson here is that some times human friendships have their limitations and that persistence reaps benefits.

There is an example of true friendship between David and Saul's son Jonathon, who in spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by his friend. You will find that story in 1 Samuel chapter 18 through chapter 20. Some pertinent passages are 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19: 4-7; 20:11-17, 41-42.

Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding friends. "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). The issue here is that in order have a friend one must be a friend. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful" (Proverbs 27:6). "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend" (Proverbs 27:17).

I am also reminded of the principle found in Amos. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed" (Amos 3:3). Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is that friendship is that relationship that is entered into by individuals and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Some one has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that they will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.

Finally, I must return to the real definition of a true friend. "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8). "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Now, that is true friendship!

weeeee

2006-06-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

Haha.. this is dedicated to nengjie.. not my lover, but my really gd friend. Since primary Sch.. had supper with him just now, coz he's going to tekong on sat liao.. so must treat him to a gd meal. but end up i was the old one eating, the rest of them were just drinking sugar cane juice. So more photos to come. but meanwhile, all the best to my this pri sch buddy! take care in tekong, don't let the flies and mosquitoes attack you! haha..

i'll post more photos when i'm free.

Friends

2006-06-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

垃圾车 - MAYDAY

a song sung by a taiwaneise band. Rubbish Truck. The song tells a story of a guy to his friends that because of his friends, he's nv lonely again, and everytime they are happy or sad, they will share with him, just as described as a rubbish truck that will bring all your sorrows away.. so friends, this song is dedicated to all of you. Thanks for being my friend.

P.S. the song is sung in hokkien.

a day with my uncle

2006-05-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

today i had to accompany my uncle to the hospital for checkup, so i missed physio class(hope my friend will help me along). anyway i spent the whole day there, starting from 10am till 6pm that i left that place. it was a day of happiness and yet painful too.
First we visited the endocrinologist and he told us the latest findings that he had found. Firstly, he told us that the phosphate level in my uncle's body had returned to the norm(something that we are very happy about) and also this means that some of the symptoms are going off slowly. Then he reviewed to us the MRI scan findings, and they found a tumor in the nasal cavity!!!
tension built up within me as i bited my teeth tightly to see what he says next.
phew.... he didn't say what characteristic the tumour is. to me is a gd news coz i can't take too many shocking news in a day you know. anyway we were further referred on to a ENT(EAR, NOSE, and THROAT) surgeon. We did a biospy of the tumour to test for the characteristic of it. and then after that we will proceed to the surgery and after the surgery things should hopefully be back to normal again. Anyway i'm happy with the registrar, he was a nice guy, he read alot, practise evidence-based practice. What make me really impressed with him was that, he sent us off for lunch while he prepares for a memo to refer us on to the next ENT surgeon. He takes his time and prepares the memo carefully ok.. i mean how many doctors or specialist will do that? So i'm really happy with him. Then when i tot we'll be scheduled to see the ENT surgeon only sometime later, but my uncle called me to say we had to stay longer coz he's gng to see the ENT surgeon in the afternoon. wow wasn't the service like EXPRESS.. you'll never expect this kind of express service given to you, especially if you are under government subsidy man.But anyway i'm happy with the arrangement, so we immediately went to see the ENT surgeon and did a biopsy. This is when the painful part of the day hit me. When i saw the tube inserting into my uncle's nasal, that moment the blood just gush out of the nostrils.. i know it was painful. the look on my maid's face was totally disgusted.. and she had to leave the room coz she couldn't stand another second seeing it. So being supportive as i can, i stayed by my uncle's side and suffer the pain with him. Coz the blood continued to bleed, we had to wait for another 45 mins to make sure that the blood clots and that he's safe to return home, if not he'll have to stay in for a few day's of observation. and my poor uncle and to pinch his nose tight to stop the wound from bleeding. Anyway while waiting, my poor uncle sneezed a few time, and blood starts to flow out of the nostrils again like a river flowing downstream.. i saw that painful look and unbearable disappointment and tiredness on his face, i got the urge to go forward and give him a hug. wad stopped me was the blood.. so i pat him on the shoulder, assuring him that he'll be fine and i told him i'll try my best to help him whenever possible. I hope i can take off some of his sufferings, i hope i can share that pain with him. Later when the ENT surgeon was exaiming the wound thru the endoscope, i was there beside my uncle, you know the pain of squeezing a small tube thru your nostril, you just feel nausea and uncomfortable. I saw his temporalis contracting as he tried to bear on with the pain, and i saw his masticatory muscles contract, i contracted my masticatory muscles as well.. i felt the pain going thru my nose too..
It was a relieve when the doctor told me that he is able to go home and rest.Thank god for answering my prayer.But if anything in the night that the nose starts to bleed thru the clot, i had to send him back to A n E immediately. So pple, pls pray for us.
My aunty was really worried when i picked up her call just now.She just left this morning to malaysia for a christian convention, although i could see that she didn't really leave with a peace of mind, but i know she just wanted to please my uncle coz he insisted that she goes for the trip. Anyway i might be young and small in her eyes, but i think i can do a great job taking care of my uncle.so pls don't worry, just pray for us.
Finally it was time to hit back home. On the road when i was driving, there were a lot of barger... as if the road own by them.
First i was trying to land change, and i and shined my signal light ok. this stupid red car just refuse to let me thru. and horn at me. and he horn at me again when he had already stopped his car for me to go. and when i moved, he moved as well.. WTF.... then i saw another barger trying to bully a small car and then so surprisingly, when they seperated quite far away, i was following behind that small car and he stretched his hand out of the window and pointed that obsence finger at that barger.. i was wow!! but at that time i shocked my head too.. so disappointed with singaporeans.. is this wad you call world class!!.. haiz.
Anyway i was shopping in SGH while waiting for my uncle, i discovered a medibook store in SGH and there were student rate. So i got myself an neurology and nervous system book. Coz i am totally lost in param's class, especially when i miss 2 hours of lect and 1 hour of pract today..
i think i better stop typing and start hitting the books again.But before that, i think i need a nap.i'm really tired, physically and mentally..
oh yar, i'm so happy for my boyfriend today, it was his d-day aka demo-day for his team project. And i'm so glad god answered another of my prayer. his product was working fine and he scored 54/50,i.e. he earned 4 bonus point.so he had pocketed a distinction again this sem. I guess his lifeless in brisbane is all worth it after all. i hope he does better and better.. but shit, tat means it's more pressure for me!! damn it. See what i am like when i'm tired, i start swearing. i shall stop.BYE..

Something from my bible reading today..

We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every on of you has for each other is increasing.

Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trails you are enduring.

All this is evidence that God's judgement is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well.

This happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.

He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the the gospel of our Lord Jesus.

They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the majesty of his power on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed.

This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, the our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who eanestly seek him (Hebrews 11:6)

With faith and thanksgiving, we can please god. With faith and thanksgiving, god will find us worthy of his callings. So keep that faith and always be grateful and thankful of whatever we have.We must learn to cherish our love ones.

Another topic of LOVE

2006-05-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

This is from the bible too.. read this and understand this during my quiet time.SO i shall share it with all of you..

If i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If i have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledg, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of worngs. Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I think it's all so true. If i'm have not love, i'm nothing, and i had not gain anything.. So does the morale of the story asking us to fall in love? I guess it means to love god and to love your brothers and you family members.

So much about love. This wk had been a hectic wk, staying in sch almost every day since thursday. and this suddenly strike me this morning, i think since sch started. i had been back for 5 saturdays( today is wk 6 already). i.e. i only managed to stay at home on only 1 saturday since my class started. oh dear. to me weekend is really precious coz it's the only time for me to spend with my family and also to do my work. but really, today i kinda wasted the whole day, coz i came home and i slept for almost 2 hours. bUt i'm already feeling sleepy how... ok nvm, i shall stop here and hit back to the books. i must stay awake.

God's Love and Ours

2006-05-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

ok, i know i shouldn't be blogging now.But i just wanna bring this msg to everyone who reads this. This was the passage that i read during Service yesterday and i tot i really makes me ponder if i'm faithful and truthful to god. So how it goes..

Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and Knows God.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love.

This is how God showed his love among us: He Sent his one and Only Son into the world that we might live through him

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our Sins.

Dear friends, Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in Us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Saviour of the World.

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

In this way, love is made complete among Us so that we will have confidence on the day of Judgement, because in this world we are like him.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved Us.

If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother,

whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his Brother.

Do i really love God, do i then really love my brother?

I wish there is no answer to this, coz god will answer me one day.

Really worried for my boy coz he's under alot of stress from his sch work.
Although i'll see him in no time( 4 wks) i'm still missing him alot, and always wondering how he's coping.

Really worried for everyone around me. Wondering if they are coping well..

my friend confided in me thru sms while i was returning from church. So for the past wk, The belief and faith in Christ had been in my head all the time. I missed church on mothers' day. Was it on purpose or was it a trial that god had put me thru. had i pass it or flunked it? i really dont know.

TOday my auntie confronted me about my faith and my belief again. I really don't know man.

i just feel that i need a break from this.

Even over lunch, the topic never leave that center of attention about faith and belief.

Must one christian adhere closely to all the commandments of God, if not one doesn't qualify to be God's believer.

ok, maybe that's why i never called myself a christian, coz i don't fully qualified to be one.

I don't follow every single commandment closely. For the very first rule , my loved ones are not believer of God.

Does that make me a sinner then? i'm questioning my own faith and belief now.

So just let me be ok. Don't force me into your own belief coz i really can't agree to that.

God pls help and guide me thru this.

Sch Sch Sch

2006-05-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

Fifth Week of School

if you wan find any word to describe it, all I can say is 'Hectic'..

School life hasn't been easy for anyone, especially for us. We have like 3 sub-modules squeeze into 1 core module. And the sub modules itself is already very demanding..

Being taught for only 4wks and going for a Viva voce is not easy man. it's only 4 wks, and you have to apply everything tat you learn into tat 10-15mins of viva voce.. with that trembling voice and that echo-y room, the thoughts of it just make me shiver again..And it's going to be 15% of 1 core module. 10-15mins of work will determine your 15%percent. oh man, i'm not trying to be calculative here, but it's just too much to bear man.

can you imagine, having a viva voce in wk4, I was just warming up man...

Hurdles after hurdles... i'm still hanging there, with the support and guidance from god, I guess I can pull it thru again this semester, but what I want is to get better. but how to get better when I don't have time to do my own things but just trying to catch up with whatever I had missed out.. life is not easy as a 2nd yr student man..

but I must say, it was really interesting..

Self-maintanance module for cool.. way cool.. thinking of ways to adapt our dangerous environment to a safe one, with the cheapest material and the simplest gadget.. so cool.. And Magnus always telling us where her hidout and where she source for cheap gds.. I love this module man. anyway if I really work in community setting in future, I think this is one of the big area that I would wan venture into. using junk to create assistive device for the poor and needy. Wow..it's my dream ok.

then next is creativity.. haha for those who had clicked on my class blog OT0502 in my links, you would know tat we are having fun in class.. playing with clay.. I never knew tat my hands can be so good.. And also I went for phototaking around chinatown with my 2 classmates( coz we were inspired by Dewitt Jones, a photographer for national geography) we saw his video and his perception of things in this world.way cool man..And then today was puppetry.. haha n we had a plot to act out.so using my drawing talent, we decided to tell the story of the REDHILL.. And lastly, my project for creativity, I had many ideas, but decided on making paper marchie to do a piggy-bank model.Practical and therapeutic.i thinking of doing a slam dunk too.but see how la.

then come BIO-Sensorimotor. it's interesting coz we can to palpate and practice palpating on our classmates. Prerequisition: Wear Swimming costumme for every pract class..

haha.. no kidding. it'll be a 3 hr pract when my own class will be parading in swimming costumme. And touching eachother so openly and legally.. no one can charge me of molest during tat 3 hr man.

then it's mobility when I learn how to use the wheelchair, and then how to position my pt, how to help them get up of bed and doing transfer from wheelchair to bed and vice versa, and many other things tat get them to move around basically.. it's fun to me coz it's hands on.. And I like hands on stuff..

unlike...

NE..oh god, it's a totally waste of time. And yar your eyes are not playing trick on you, it's National Education(NE). it's 0 credit but 100% attendance is compulsory. Ok, the stupidest thing tat the lecturer threaten us with is tat we need tat NE cert to get to Local Uni, but I was like, ok, tell me tat again if there an OT degree in Singapore.. haiz.. she need to keep herself updated man.

then was Behavioral Modification. I hate it.cz lecturer is boring, with cannot make it sense of humor.then the examples tat she gave(usually with her children) makes me feel sorry for her children. can you imagine your mom know behavior mod so well tat she's subtling conditioning you everyday, and she has no worry that you'll find out one day,coz she believes tat you are under her control all the time.. oh tat's spooky man. I don't deny tat conditioning and behavior modification is in our daily life and happening to us all the time. but at least before I have this module, I didn't feel tat i'm being conditioned and being controlled.so tat's ok. haha... living with ignorant is good..

then Behavioral Science modules are ok. quite interesting something, not so some other time. but overall i'm enjoying it. especially basic counselling, so friend, you can always talk to me if you need to,i'll try to help you.. today we video recorded our counselling session with our friend( ok, only my group did it) and we had a great time analysis the video and assessing our own performance.. so at the end of all these sessions, we are suppose to write a reflective report and peer eval on how we fare in our skills of basic counselling. haha. cool man I can't wait.

Magnus said tat Vivo voce results will be posted out somewhere this wk. no one failed,but some did better than others.so i'm worried tat I didn't do so well.although didn't put in 110% effort, but I did my max tat I can do.

it's getting busy each wk.this wkend suppose to join class in soccer tournament.What a joke.but hope can win something small.. better than nothing right. haha..

ok physiology is in a mess now.better catch up with it soon,otherwise i'll die at the end of sem.

Doing on vision, hearing and vestibular system. But they all related and all so complicated.tat sometimes I really dont catch what param is saying. And param, being a In-dian. I had difficulties catching his pronounciation.words like Cerebrum and cerebellum.. haiz. And alot more... but he's sense of humor makes me try to keep awake as much as possible,so param is a good guy.

ok lastly, i'm missing SAJC and esp the band members, and MHMB too.. I bump into lily for the 2nd time today. reminds me of the days when i'll bump into her during break at the SAJC cafeteria(aka canteen)... got to know her thru huiqin, my slack together friend in SAJC (1st 3 mths).. oh dear, miss all tat crap.. And of coz peggy, jas tat group of band members. just met them at the last band concert and I wan go back to band, I wan join alumni, but my timing and committment really has not enough to go around. And august is my exam period,but the SAINTS family playing in Esplanade again, I wan play.. but no time, so maybe i'll be an audience this time.hope I got chance nxt time. but I think SAINT alumni trombone is strong enough too,don't need me..haha.but I still wan add in the noise..

So many things in mind to do,but really no time. like sitting here to blog, I already like wasted 10 mins.. I shall end. bye peeps.take care.

The philosophy of OT

Human should always engage in purposeful occupation, and purposeful occupation keeps one healthy and functioning phsically, mentally and socially.

2006-05-14T11:21:00.000+08:00

曹格 Superwomen.. first heard this song on campus superstar.. i think it's really a nice song. the mv also tells a nice story.. i think he's not bad, and he's a malaysian. no particular offends tat he's a malaysian, just proud tat he's an asian born singer. Saw him on 100% Entertainment and he is dating mayi( the jap cute little girl). and he's so sweet to her,always singing for her. wondering if all these songs are written for her too.. haha

Today's mothers' day. skipped church, feeling bad. but i slept the whole night yesterday after coming home from dinner.. feel so tired i dunno why. this week haven't really exercise except swimming for once. but i think it's not enough. maybe go swim again later.. haha.. ok i need to go do my tons of work before sch starts tml.. shit i sleep too much, got no time now.. fractically fractic and feels desperate.

Beautiful Saturday

2006-05-13T16:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY mummy.

it's going to be mother's day tml. But i decided that we should bring forward the celebration coz monday's a sch day, and i'll be busy preparing for sch tml.so no time for dinner with my mummy..

Tonight we are going to bring my mommy and my bf's mommy to this chinese restaurant at chinese high(beside the swimming pool) coz apparently my mommy has a VIP card from there even though we had nv tried the restaurant before..

Today i started my day at 8.20am. Woke up from a dream(can't remember what was it) and had to rush to sch for Mrs Wong's discussion with Chunrui and Chermain.Actually the discussion could be quite short, but we made it long coz we were chatting along.. Coz library closes at 1, we left the library at 1. The the last msg tat we heard over the PA system was, " To all library users, we'll be locking up in 10 mins time. Pls check that you do not leave any belongs behind.Thank You."

I was thinking, as if you gng to lock me inside, i mean some librarian or some1 will definitely check around the library first before they really lock up right. haiz anyway.. then later i went to GIANT at Turf City to get fluroscent tube for the toilet, coz it blew up last night, i had to bath in the dark, so i decided to buy one to change it.

I also bought 2 packet of cakemix coz i decided to bake mothers' day cake for my mommy and my bf's mommy on his behalf.haha(he owe me one more)

So nw that i'm back home,i had placed the cake into the oven already,so i'm waiting for time to pass,so i decided to blog.. haha..i got chocolate chip butter cake for my bf's mommy and raisin butter cake for my mommy coz she loves raisin.

I wanna thank you my mommy for showing me her care and concern always, and thank you my bf's mommy for taking care of him so well that he's such a refine adult now.

I wanna thank all mommy's for giving us life,coz without you, there'll not be us now.

i love my mommy.

do we look alike.

2006-05-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

I'm Loving it...

"FAN"

2006-05-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

小S is back on 100% Entertainment.. awaited for a long long time. haha. i'm suppose to be doing my Form 3 for Activity Analysis. but so happen to pop by(actually is purposely) youtube.com and so i found this clip and started watch and i just can't stop!! i must have good time management.

Last night Concert was great,but audience was so rowdy tat they seem to be going for some singing concert you know...
I received a call asking me to run for presidency, but heard from another person tat they are just looking for pple to run because they don't want the president to run uncontested!! oh man, so you are asking me to be a smoke screen issit.. should i agree or not to? i really don't know, only another 2 hrs more for me to decide.. what should i do?? i need some advice? should i run or not?

A day at Chinatown

2006-05-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was labour day, so we went around chinatown and had some fun time taking photos around singapore. Looking for some nice scene in singapore.. but after not long, crystal's batt died out on her, so left me and chelsea.. but just slightly before lunch, chelsea camera also died on her.So.. i'm the sore survivor on the day, but then my memory card was full by the time we reach esplanade..

I drove to chinatown and had to use $3.50 of coupons.. then went to marina sq later and paid $2.. so the total parking fee for that day was $5.50.. so damn ex la.. why is there no more free parking on public hols for public carpark.. really don't understand.. haiz.. and the aunties are busy walking around the public carparks looking for cheaters. but i mean it's public hols can they have a break too. haiz..

anyway it was fun, and we explored the boutique hotel in chinatown called the Scarlet. it was really a seductive and romantic place for young lovers so i recommend all honeymooner who are coming to singapore to stay in there, you'll have no regrets man...

ok so here is a preview of the pictures we took yesterday. haven't got time to do up the rest.but will do it when i'm free.

too busy with sch now. can't wait for the next public hols and we can go phototaking around singapore again.. erm, next place should be Holland Village.. anyone interested can join us. take care pal..

i'm really excitied to go back to SAV to wait SAJC band Concert.. looking forward to friday..

hweeee

2006-04-30T17:51:00.000+08:00

finally figured out how to use adobe photoshop.. and this is what i got from learning photoshop. time to hit back to the books.. it's only 2nd wk of sch.. already so many many things to do. i need a break.. thinking of redang trip in june(my 2 wks hols) any one interested to join me??

Pressing on Toward the GOAL

2006-04-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

MY GOAL

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that of which Christ Jesus told hold of me.

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward to Christ Jesus.

JIAYOU!!

Stress

2006-04-25T22:55:00.000+08:00

STRESS.....

someone told me it was never easy??

Thank you for the roses..

STRESS.....

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

'Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

GET me OUT of STRESS!!

2006-04-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

Airmail from my dearest in australia.

what's inside the parcel, and also...

a postcard from my dearest.

Happy Birthday Huihui.

明明很爱你

2006-04-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住地看几眼
感觉强烈

一句微笑的方便
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
攻真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意

讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问起
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

有多少人在旁边
我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不奏看几眼
感觉强烈

已经微笑地放电
已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间
幸福就飘过面前

我平凡无奇
而你像灿烂星星
让我担心

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
但是你的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌
敢大声说要做你(我)的唯一

明明很爱你
明明想靠近
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你(我)抱紧
够真心才是最厉害的武器
我会拼命让你更满意

讲配不配太俗气
说爱不爱要问心
爱由我们自己决定
不必理跌破谁的眼镜

What's Wrong

2006-04-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

What's Wrong???

My friends always tell me, i really admire you and your guy, so loving and supportive of each other. You all look like you are ready to be for each other for the rest of your lives..

oh issit... i always wish it's the case, i don't know why. lazy to look for love,so just wanna stick with him forever? or what is it?

The love still seem strong(at least my love for him is) but i don't know what wrong recently.. am i asking too much from him, or do i have too high expectation of him. Or did he just trying to give up his life to some setback and difficulties that he face everyday? i don't know what wrong lately, but it doesn't seem like we are understanding each other anymore, even when i seem to know how he feels, he thinks i don't.. same for him i guess..

Falling in love always seem so easy, why staying in love seem so tiring for me.. after coming to 3 yrs, where do i stand? where are we going? still in the same direction? So much about love? some ask me do you envy those who are single and happy.. i'll post the qn back to them, then do you envy those who are attached but still as happy as can be? But now, i don't know who i should envy? both parties seems like a disgusting position to be in...

what is love? what is being there for each other? what's wrong? i don't know.. why did he suddenly turn his back unto me, and the last sentence he said to me was ''then dun talk to me''... oh shit did i say something wrong before that... maybe i did.. all i said was '' when i talk to you, i feel like strangling myself ''... haiz.. should i not have said that at all.. but that was how i really felt then.. is there something wrong.. i really dunno.. but i'm also too tired to think anymore.. i just feel like sleeping and dream that it can go back 3 years ago and i want to start all over again.. will i still make the same decision, will i still do the same thing? will we still choose to be seperated... haiz. why ask so much.. i just don't want to think about it anymore.

i'm so useless...

2006-04-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

hohoho... today, i received my first birthday card. from uncle eric.. thanks.and this year the card is nice. every year he sends a different card and usually they are very special..

before sch start

2006-04-14T16:48:00.000+08:00

haha... went for morning service today, then had lunch with hannah, chelsea and another friend from church. After that went to meet my bruddy who came back from india training.. and he still got the cheek to be late for more than 1/2 hr. then we saw my long lost junior kok and his girlfriend shopping around town.. Went to borders cos my rich bruddy wanna buy ipod nano... and then to be sorry for being late, treated me to a cup of hot chocolate and we talked and chit chat... and i got tired so wanna come home and rest and also wanna accompany my dear who's home alone the whole day and feeling all so lonely in brisbane... but i can't help much so come home and 'accompany' him online..

going to take a nap now..Bye.

All ready to return to sch. I bought the diary and pencil case from borders. The pencil case cost me $10bucks and i like it.. quite ok la..been looking for a new pencil case for a long time, the old one is a big too big and dirty liao.

ciao...

My God's Sent Angel

2006-04-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

This is my cutee-pie sent from god to brighten up my day!

boRed

2006-04-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

Justing thinking if i can be there...Life should be wonderful and beautiful...

JimmY

2006-04-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

ok.. nothing really much, blogging is regular only during my hols, but sch is gng to start next monday and the new sem timetable is ouT... i must say, it's just so horrible...
it'll be hell much busier than the last sem. but i think i'm pretty excited abt sch,but the worrying thing is that i think i'll be very lost in class..

Flipping thru Gray's Anatomy for Student txt today, and realise i had returned alot of anatomy back to Ravi.. how?
Remembering the last day of my exam, we met our manager Hua Beng who reminded us and scared us with a prelude of how Yr 2 life will be like and even reminded us to retain 5% of our role as a student role.. i guess i had almost 100% resign myself to a slacker role during the hols. So this last wk of hols, i'm trying to make up that 5% of my student role, hope i can make it before sch start, otherwise i forget that i'll have double amt of work more to do!!! argh.....

Other than flipping that txt, i went out for dinner with my mom and my sis, there was this popular clearance sale i think and so i saw this book tat i think i should try picking up...
At the start of the hols, i was reading Dave Pelzer's A man named Dave. then i'm almost completing it when i stop to play sims2, and sims2 conquered my life... haha..

Then next was VCDs and it killed my living cells reminding in my body, so i started to go running around my estate every evening.. then now.... i'm trying to regain my student role so i'm flipping txtbk.

anyway i saw this book which i said i'll pick it up.coz i realise my chinese is getting suckier and suckier and so before it all gone to nothing, i'll start to refresh it again. It's a comic book by Jimmy (you know the comic artist who did the turn left,turn right movie) and there were few chinese words here and there.. so i decided i'll read it at my free time.. keke..

And this is the book....

Anyway yesterday my daddy was so generous to give my bro a farewell dinner before he goes to taiwan for his army training, and he brought us to BoonLay Restuarant and had each a bowl of fins...( i showed this picture to kenrick and he said, what the ... is that orange soup?)

2006-04-08T18:19:00.000+08:00

zhen says he's cute. Really?

Hang out at Esplanade, watched an outdoor performance @ On the Waterfront

This is Zhen and Me

just finished my mee soto at Lido

Met Peggy at KAP coz she's preparing for exam( oh, poorthing! )

<>

2006-04-08T17:23:00.000+08:00

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The Straits Times, Saturday, 8 April 2006.
Take a look at it when you are free, both educational and refreshing.

As i was flipping thru the papers this morning, i read the SATURDAY edition with care, 'cos they were talking about pallitative care, i.e. hospice care.
As i had learnt Lifespan n lifestyle development as 1 of my modules in the last sem, i got interested as the reporters reported about hospice in Singapore.
I thought this is rather educational for those who had not heard about hospice care, or didn't have the right info about hospice services.In the special report, they interviews staff in hospice care, patients, family members and even volunteers who helped out in hospice. It gave an better insight of what hospice helps this patients.. and it highlighted many points that we had missed out.
Firstly, hospice is not only for patients who are terminally ill, and definitely patients in hospice do not just wait till that day come in the hospice. Many care and support were given to these patients and family members.
In fact, 1 in 4 hospice patients walks out alive and gets to die at home.(The straits time, 2006).
In hospice, they provide pallitative care, which are not just simply medical needs, but also tend to the psychosocial, spiritual and emotional needs of the patients. They ensure that patients die in comfort and not unnecessary pain.
Next, hospice is not really a sad place to end up with, coz if you are a bacholar with no family members to take care of you when you are ill, that's a gd place that you can go, coz the staff there are caring and tries to fulfil your last wishes.( i sound like i'm promoting hospice)
"When death is inevitable and we know we can't add days to their life, we try to add life to their days." -Dr Noreen Chan, medical director of Dover Park Hospice, (The Straits Time, 2006)
It's so exciting to find out that there are many programs and events organised for these patients and some who gets better get a chance to go on outing at the zoo, or even to sentosa. Who says the only thing that the terminally ill does is to wait for the heaven gate to open.
Lastly, in one of the interview with a bedridden man who learnt how to walk in the hospice and now are back home already. Wow, it's an achievement for both the staff and the patient, and i'm proud of them.
I guess it's time for us to change our view about hospice care, and in fact we should be supportive of such services in singapore. What's more important to die in comfort and with no regrets.
What is death when you have no regrets and pain. I guess hospice is also a great place for us to learn about death and how we can overcome our fear of death and the different perspective of death. Late adulthood.... that's how it ends.
" Death in itself is not a tragedy. With every passing moment, each of us is closer to death. But if a patient dies unhappy and in pain, if families are left unsupported during this difficult period, that would be a tragedy. " - Dr Noreen Chan, medical director of Dover Park Hospice, (The Straits Time, 2006)

5th april 06

2006-04-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

Can Life be Simple Again?
Can Life be Beautiful again?
Who can i trust now?

Dear, today is a special day, but we can't be together. Although i know you are suffering, but i know you didn't forget this day.Thank you for giving such an unbelievable chapter in my life.

曲名：雨人歌手：周华健

好像就从那一个夜晚开始

下起雨一直没有放过晴

我勾着那把伞

漂浮在人群里

慢慢的以为身边还有你

小气的用着那些你的记忆

一点点就够我看到彩虹

全世界的颜色

全留在你那里

我只有不断一直淋着雨

我相信我爱你

蒙上眼手交给你

慢慢的安心在黑暗中

共有一双眼睛

我要不断的爱你

不断拼凑了自已

生命中所以好不好的过去

仿佛都在等我遇见你

-+= 祝天下有情人找到真爱！=+-

i can't find a reason to cry

2006-04-03T19:20:00.000+08:00

life is just so torturous.. it's a toying of one's feeling.
it's about giving one hope,but putting it down easily too.
life can be so simple, but we can see it as a very complex thing too.
A pair of lover, going thru thick and thin together,but at the end they are seperated by a simple thing call love.
it's not easy to be in love, but it's even harder to give love. When you are so far apart, you promised that nothing will pull us about, but we just drifted away from each other everyday.Why is it so? what's that physics or chemistry behind this?
Another hope is gone, and now left with the last choice, not that i'm not happy that there is at least one last choice, but it's not a really gd choice either. What will pple say, what will my parents say?
Do i really have to care about what they say? or can i just care about how i feel?
I used to cry because i have so many reasons to cry, but today, i just can't find a reason to cry when i feel like crying out.
Suffering is part of everybodies life, but why is mine seem nv to come to an end.
i just wanna shout my misery out, just wanna cry my lungs out, and cry till my tear glands dry, but i got no reason to cry.
i want a simple life.

2006-04-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

我要快乐

歌手: 张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍

无所谓当作成长

刚刚走开的人

烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞

却比任何人都多

就算把世界给我

我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳

有些人不抱了才温暖

离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声

心不是热的全都是假的

只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍

谢谢了伤我的人

想做乐观的人

每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞

却比任何人都多

就算把世界给我

我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳

有些人不抱了才温暖

离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声

心不是热的全都是假的

我的决定是对的

To see the chinese characters, go to [view] -> [encoding] -> [unicode (UTF-8)].

Recently i heard this while i was driving, and i really like ah-mei song, i think this songs kinda speak my heart out.listen to it if you have the chance to. i love ah-mei's voice.

come home fast

2006-04-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

although time seems to be flying, but only 1 month had gone. I believe i had sent out 5 letters to him over these 4 weeks.
Recently there is a show about this girl having to choose between 2 guys, which she kept contact in different manners. One by snail mail and the other by email. If you are the girl, who will you choose?
Although i didn't catch any episode of the show, but if i'm the girl, i'll choose the guy with snail mail. reason being i feel the love and the distance between 2 person drawing close when i see his handwriting. By looking at his handwriting, i can see the feeling that he has went writing that letter, when i see his handwriting, i feel that he's just beside me. When i see his handwriting, i can picture him right in my head.
Many at times we tend to take things for granted, and we never come to realise how much we need each other until we are seperated. This hols had made me think and reflected. Why did i choose OT? why did i try for the scholarship? why did i miss him so much even though communications are so easily available now? Until today, some answers to my own reflection are still unknown, and i never asked myself these qns until some one stop me and pulled me aside to ask me to reflect. Thank you for your concern and it had made me think and think again.
Until now, i still don't regret coming into this course, although you keep telling me that you got no hols like uni have. But i guess the uni doesn't enjoy as much as i can enjoy during class and with my coursemates.
Recently i'm looking forward to moving to my aunt's place,even if it's just temporary. It's really convinient for me if i can move to woodlands coz it'll allow me to reduce my travelling time, which i can't complain coz i have my dear fren staying in boon lay( even further than me). But travelling had really made me sick and tired of going home sometimes. and when i reach home, i'm so tired that i don't feel like facing the books anymore. And worst of all, my room is no longer a condusive environment for me to study anymore. Why do i say that?
In the past, my granny used to travel ard and not stay permenantly at my place. So i'm still quite comfortable with her sharing a room with me. But over the past yr, she had decided to stay permenantly at my place, in other words, share room with me everyday, including public hols (which is 24/7). This really makes me feel very awkward, especially when her bed is next to my study table. When she sleeps at the bed while i'm studying at my table, i always feel that she's looking at me. Maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i believe no one likes that feeling. And because it's dark when i don't turn both lights on when i study, but one of the lights shine directly above my granny's bed, and makes her unable to sleep when i study deep into the night. Then i compensated by turning that light off and switch on my table lamp, but because my table is next to the bed, it doesn't make much of a difference. My parents ask me not to be bothered by that, and my bf mother gave me a divider to seperate the light from shining over.i tot that is much better le. but she still continue to complain to my aunt about me making noise at late night and i really feel that i'm so restricted in my own house, own room.. Oh man, do i not have privacy or not even my own space to work, sleep and be happy and contented with.
So i needed a solution, i suggested that we move to the flat after the contract with my current tenant had end, but my family strongly disagree with that. Then i said, can i change room with my bro.He agreed so readily, but still he took back his words, what a man.thinking of this incident makes my blood boils. Why is my family not understanding my situation. do anyone of them wanna try it out for themselves. Y are my aunt and my granny so unreasonable. y don't they try to put themselves into my shoe and see how it feels.
So now, i'm looking for alternatives. at first my aunt(mom's side) said i can move to her place since she has spare room and my cousin is studying overseas currently. Then they took tat offer back by giving tons of excuses that even my mom can't accept them. So now i headed to my next plan, renting a room from my bf's fren(also my fren). 2 sisters staying in a flat at woodlands. walking distance from mrt, suits me almost perfectly. But i had to await for their reply before i head to my last resort, tat would be to move out to my bf's place and stay in his room until he comes home. i didn't plan for that actually but his parents offered, if that's my last resort i'll really consider tat, unless you got better suggestions for me.
This few days, i wasn't feeling well. at the bottom corner of my heart, there is this constant pain and i keep thinking of my bf. So many things had happened while he was gone, and everytime i just wish for him to be beside me, but without fail he will send someone to talk to me. Thanks dear, if there is no you in my life, i can't imagine if i'm happier or worst now.
Memories flow back when i started to flip the old photo albums. looking at all the events that we had together and the happy times we had together. i never remember as happy until now, i'm so foolish. i'm so crazy over you. And this 2 days, i miss you even more. We don't talk as much as we used to in the past, and everynight the topic nv fails to be comforting you coz you are feeling really stress. But sometimes, i just hope to talk about some happy and lightheartened things with you. Everyday, our conversation is the same, i'm not sick of it,but it makes me feel really tired and i just feel that i got no more strength for you, coz i had put in all the strength to support you, so much so that i got no more strength to let myself be strong anymore.
I don't know what i'm talking now, but i am love sick i guess. talking to you only makes me feel so near yet so far. Esp when we chat on msn and skype, it's even worse. seeing you on the webcam gives me the urge to get a ticket and fly immediately to be there with you. i wan to give you a hug but my hands are not long enough to reach. i don't know how long more we can go, but i really hope we can go on forever. i wish for sch to start so tat i can study with you again. i wish sch to start because only when sch start i can focus my mind again on my books and not miss you so much.
Everyday i past without you by my side, everyday seems to be like a never ending tunnel, when will i come to the end of the tunnel again. Dear, come home fast... i really miss you alot.

Let me support you all the way k. i miss your smile. jia you dear.

i dunno

2006-03-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

This is posted specially for you.

Maybe i had said things that i should not have said, maybe i had hurt you more than anyone else had ever done unto you. Maybe i should just shut up and just absorb everything you said like a sponge.Maybe i should not be here at all.

Sometimes i just don't know, what had gone over me? is my life just gng downslope from now onwards? where is my power of motivation? is it not working on you anymore? am i so not understanding and unable to feel as you suffer? where is that piece of love for you?

Everynight, i hope that we can talk about something different, but i just realise that as the days go by, the topic is just restricted to why you are suffering and why not others but you? i told you that i understand that you are very stressed up with your school work and i know it's not easy to be independent especially when you got everything taken care of when you are here. And you said i'll never understand coz i nv experience it before. ( this really hurts) am i so useless that even now, the things i said, you can't even be bothered coz you are too involved in being hurt and hurting yourself even more?

I really don't know what i should do? i really don't know if i am still able to carry on? i'm trying very hard not to give you anymore trouble. but everytime when i have a problem, you are the first one i think of.No matter good or bad, you are always the first one that i want to share that piece of news with. You said you are always there to encourage me when i have a problem (are you telling me that i nv do that for you)

i'm willing to say sorry if that's what you want to hear from me, lastly, no matter how much i said to hurt you, i just want you to be that determined and strong guy that i fall in love with, now i'm searching for him. pls ask him back.

Lastly, i still love you.gd night.The smile is missing in every picture.can you see it?

This is my prayer for all of us tonight:

Answer me when i call to you, O my righteous God.

Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.

Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you i pray. Psalm 5:1-2

Dear lord, pls help those who are suffering, regardless of the quality of life or from the illness, help those who are unable to cry to you.Help those who had cried to you and those who had spoken to you.Hope those who are eagerly waiting for a response each day, and lastly help everyone who walks in your light. Amen.