I wish I was there to help her with her report

I had a 9am class today and was walking back. while listening to my mp3 plyer, I missed her so much. I was thinking of the time when she came over in Brisbane just to accompany me during my first sememster. We had such a great time. I was so happy when she told me she might be coming over here again this time but only for a short 2 weeks. I really hope this would come true as words cannot describe how much I need her. Especially with so much worries right now, i am feel very lost. My thesis just started and I am very unsure how to go about doing it. It is a study on antennas. Another big decision is weather i should continue with EMF subject or change to DSP. Both have their own difficulties but I think I might just go with DSP. God please help me along the way even if i made a wrong decision...

Yesterday, she was rushing her report. Looking at her, I wish i could be there to do all the finishing touches for her. although this might be a simple job, it could as least ease her mind off to do other work while i do the contents page, cover, alightment, printing, etc. All these may also take up quite alot of time. Throughout the one month back in Singapore, I was helping her with all these and I really enjoyed it. I never complainted at all because I was so glad to be helping her. As long as I see her not so stressed out, I would feel happy too. It certainly feels the same for her but all I have done is to show my stress to her. I know it would make her feel very sad whenever I am unhappy. It is not easy at all to enjoy urself and who says going overseas to study is enjoyment. everyday is so stressful!!...

I miss her and hope she would cope well with her school work. I love her....

always loving hui,
Kenrick

Kenrick: She is my motivation

Today was my first day this sememster cooking for everyone. the usual life starts again as i had to cook dinner once a week for everyone. There are 7 ppl and each of us take turns to cook. luckily i have my friend to help me if not it would be real tiring.

I was just broswing through the picture that my gf and I took in Batam. although it was only a very short trip (2day1night), it was so memorable. Although it was a month ago,it is still very fresh in my mind. going back to singapore and straight away gng for a trip with her was all i could dream of. the kind of excitment is unexplanable. however, I now have to face the fact that we are being seperated once more. One week of School just ended and I am very worried about so many things. everything is everywhere, I am feeling quite lost, alot of things I do not know but no choice, i know i cannot just give up like that. I will try my best to push on but somethings hundles become so hard to climb that you just want to give up. I always ask myself that would this be worth it, I really hope at the end of the day, my efforts would be paid off and I could get the results that I hoped for.

My gf is in a worst situation now, with all the test and exams around the corner, what worst, she has 3 reports to hand in. I totally understand her feeling as I have been through this before, but I cant imagine myself in her shoes. There was an incident when i had 2 reports and 1 assignment to hand in, already I was struggling. It is really not easy to handle the mental stress as while u r doing this thing, ur mind would keep thinking about other stuff that is undone. However, she is much stronger than I am. She is working very hard as well and I hope my encouragement for her is enough for her to carry on. Just bear in there ok, I know it is tough, I will always be supporting you all the way. I am sorry I cant do it physcially but I will pray for you every night. In one way or another, throughout my past one year, god has helped me alot so I believe he also can see ur hardwork and help you as well.

I would always love you with all my heart. 3 years is not a short time and every moment spend with you is so precious. I have nv regreted having you as my other partner and I am really glad you have given me the chance to prove I am a worthy boyfriend. Hope I have not dissapoint you so far, I promise i will provide you with happiness for as long as possible. Lets hope that there wil be more beautiful years for us in the future...

...

Today, I Miss Him...

basically, i'm feeling blue and my mood is grey..

I feel weak and tired..

I just don't feel like moving at all..

Preoccupied thoughts flowing out of my mind,

3rd order neurons flowing, but 1st order motor neuron not responding at all..

Not even reflexes are working...

Life has momentarily stop. I just wish to stop forever..

Life in sch is really stressing me out..

Life without him seems to be turning gray..

Lastly Life is not beautiful anymore..

Reports and more reports dateline to meet.

Not last minutes,has been pacing myself,

but still not meeting target.. How low efficient I'm.

Although my dearest hp had been missing for a few weeks,

i still miss it alot.

Haiz, Life has no colour anymore...

Last week dinner together,

this week dinner on my own.

Last week should have just stop at last week..

I wish for holidays to come.

I'm breaking down soon...

Accumulated tears are flowing out of the lacrimal gland,

seems like that is a blockage of lacrimal duct,

coz tears can't be absorbed, and it just can't stop.

I'm not strong anymore.

Today, I Miss Him...

I know that she is suffering, having studied so hard for her prac test yet it did not turn out well. I know she must be saying should have went to lab more often but given that limited time, that was the best she can do so it is ok my dear, we tried out best so let the outcome be what it would be. Alot of times we regret what we are doing becoz we meet alot of obstacles along th way but this cant be helped. Life is not perfect. Nothing is easy and especially as studies get to a higher level, no more like secondary, there is no time to ply and take it easy. Hardwork does not equal to output. At least we have to put in our best effort and just pray to god that at the end of the day, he knows what we are doing and can see how much effort we have put in.

She is so nice to let me use her blog to publise something here. I am just too lazy to create an account. I think for the next few months, this would be another communication tool with her. I miss her hugs and kisses, remember very strongly the last day when we were walking down to adam road for a simple dinner, I had mixed feelings. I may seem undisturbed but deep inside me, I was happily having dinner with her yet I am feeling sad because I can countdown to the number of hours before I board my flight back to Australia. I do not know how to describe that kind of feeling but at the point just hoped that time would just stop there so that i just eat nasi lemak and prawn noodle with her.

I miss her so much, no one can replace her in my life, she is my motivation, my soul, my everything. I cant imagine life without her. As this is my first time blogging, I wish to tell the whole world, I LOVE YOU. Lets now hope we would not have to be seperated again after my degree...

he left me on a jet plane.

Just as i'm writing this post. he's already on the plane.. i just sent him off about 4hrs ago..
This time, i'm strong. I didn't cry at the airport anymore.. but i still miss him very much. Although this is already the 3rd time we are seperating at the airport, but everytime i just miss him more and more. This time we seperated with more fears and more worries for each other.i'm really worried for him if he'll be able to manage the stress level there. Studying is really not easy, especially when you are all alone..

Exams are around the corners, but reports still not completed yet.. and wat's more still got practical exams before paper starts. hAiz.. life is really tough.. don't know how to score.. just wish i can do reasonable well.. but feel tat i'm already lagging behind alot.. i dun know how i can catch up.. too much for me to cope..

Feeling sick on the last 2 days i had left with him.. but still tried to put up a strong front coz i know if i'm sick he'll sure be very worried for me.. but now..i really feel weak..so weak tat i can't concentrate studying..

Tml will be a new beginning.We will be living 2 hours apart again.. Everyday will be a new beginning now.. i just have to live with it until 5 months later.. when will there not be anymore seperation..i'm waiting for that day.

i miss him.

today is a bad day.

I LoSt my HandphOne...

today i lost my handphone which was only 3months old. i could only blame myself. How sleepy head i was, just board the train without checking if i left anything behind. and how sleepy head i was, didnt even realise i lost it, until i reach yio chu kang mrt station. Anyone who were at Newton MRT station on the 12th July 2006 at around 8am. If u witness anyone stealing a Samsung D600-C from a black purse, pls contact me or tag me here..

Tat kind soul actually return my purse with my cards in it,but not with my handphone in it. I dun know whether to be happy or sad. I mean tat handphone had lotsa of feeling attached to it, and had witnessed many events during this past 3 mths. ok, being sad is one thing, i had been sad for almost the past 12hours, despite all the encouragement and comfort from my friends and loved ones, it's not helping. For once, mummy didn't scold me for being so blur. but i'm still blaming myself. Anyway friends, i had lost all contacts, so pls send me your no. ok..

Another 4 more wks to exam.. scare and worried.. fearful of practical exams.. hopefully reports and pract exams will pull me up otherwise i can see no As again... Anyway case studies were quite interesting this time, and the visit to IMH was eye opening and it's much much better than the other place tat i went last sem.. haha..

Encephalitis, AIDs and HIV, Epilepsy, Dementia, Depression.. this is all i'm reading on this whole sem.. anyway, pple go read Lifewise if you have tat small leaflet, there's issue on OT.. if u wanna know What OT does, can ask me for that issue.. i can lend it to you... bye..

some shots of us in batam.. it was a great time there, and really got to get myself away from stress although at some time, i was till think of my oink oink when i was there.. but had a great fun and hope i can go there again...

Anyway it's already coming to second wk of the 2nd term of my 2nd year in NYP.. time is turning really fast.. really scary also.. hope i can commit fully into my studies now,coz play time is over..my lecturer was saying the occupation of the child is to play and maybe go to school? i'm no longer a kid so wad's my occupation? only to go to school and do well? aiyo.. i also dunno la.. also confused...

Let it be.. Let it be..
Let it be.. Let it be...
There will be an answer..
Let it be....
- Beatles