I just hates it when it comes to quarrel.

Sometimes i really dont want to be the one to say sorry.

Sometimes i also dont think i'm at fault, not saying that someone else is the one at fault either.

But why is it that there should be disagreement.

Can't 2 unlike be together. like pple say the opposite attracts?

i'm tired with all the disagreement and discussion to come to a agreement.

GOD I WANT YOUR STRENGTH.

it's over!

2 wks of hols is finally coming to an end. I can smell the book again.

this 2 wks had been a really busy and tiring and at the sametime, fun but yet some parts are disgusting time for me.

Recap of all i had done:

- met up with my 2 JC class mates.
But then sad to say i didn't meet with Peggy and Jasmine.
Hey Peggy, your bday is next sat right? happy birthday. hope can meet you.

- went out with my classmates for movie
watched John tucker must die and You, me and Dupree.
But havent catch Rob-B-Hood with my mom.
Anyway brought some dvds back so can watch with him when he returns.

- went for photography trip.
Erm went to Clark Quary before attachment and beach Road during this 2 wks.
but haze spoils the photo.so didn't take much picture. Discovered a cool place though.

- drove into JB for the first time.
cool and fun. No hiccups and i returned safely to singapore at the end of the day. Of cos i didnt went in alone. But i dont know if i got the chance to do it again or not.

-started teaching a O level kid who's tking his Os this yr.
the boy is ok, willing to learn.But i only have a month left. He should be able to pass,but i dont know if he can do really well.

IF you have realised, everything i listed there had it's good and always end with a BUT. Why is it that pple are like that. Nv satisfied with what they had alr done and achieved. Always want only the more, the better, and sometimes even the BEST.

I want to learn to be satisfied with what i'm given.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation -

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life -

of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,

when my enermies and my foes attack me,

they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord,

that is what i seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enermies who surround me;

at the tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face" Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;

you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path

because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me,

breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.

Amen.

Amazing Grace. Love the Lord.

Congrats! Uncle got out of ICU today. He's now back at the general ward.

Progressing well, and road of recovery is smooth for him. Seems like prayers are working.

We prayed really really hard.

Now i can go kayaking with a peaceful heart. i'll visit him again later in the evening before meeting my pri sch mate later in the night.

Thanks Yuli for hosting us at her house, and Chunrui for that horror but funny when watched it with Sarah & Yuli dvd.. if can lend me the show again so that i can watch it with really horror.. haha

ok.. just wanna give thanks to the Lord and praise him for his guidance and strength.

Continue to work in the prayers and keep close to him.

Follow the light.

Give Thanks.

It's Amazing Grace!

Life is getting beautiful again each day.

Just wanna remind all who are ill and weak, recovery is not instant, continue to work on it.

Life is so vulnerable...

Driving around Singapore like a mad dog..

i had never been so familiar with CTE... and today i used it 3 times. incredible.

Traveled down to the hospital, then back to sch. Back to Mhss to visit my teachers.. and then back to the AMK yuli's house then back to hospital again.

Wow.. busy schedule, and it's back to back somemore.

Why i say life is so vulnerable?

Cos we never know what will happen to us in the next moment. As i joy over my results of the practical exams, i wish i can share it with him (uncle and kenrick).But both are now ill.. I don't know if my results will make them feel better though.

I knew negative things will start coming out of his mouth, when he merely commented that mobility is the most important in my life.

But how can i just let that comment pass me by. I should have said something encouraging right.

Right after i left the room, i know he started sharing negative thoughts with aunt. So insensitively i walked back into the room awhile later, i noticed something wasn't right, but nothing came out of my mouth. I don't know what i could say too..

Because he hasn't been moving for almost 48hrs. his fingers are swelling abit. But thanks to the occupational therapist who prescribed the anti-embolism stocking to him, the legs were fine. Hence i started to message his hands and help him with abit of finger exercise to lessen the swell.

All i wanted to say is immobility is only temporary. He'll soon be out and walking. He even said to me, i'll jog with you and train you for your 10k marathon. Just wait and see.

Where had that spirit gone? where is it? let's find it back ok?

On the other side of my mind, i had to start reading up on my clinicals stuff.. Next monday, i will not be visiting uncle until i end work at 5.45pm. and then i'll go home and continue mugging. I can foresee my life to be like tat until his discharge.

Ok, we just learn different lessons everyday, be it new or relearn things we had once learnt, or even learning new things from what we had learnt. Lessons are never the same, and everyday we live differently. So treasure and cherish everyday and every love one around you.

God loves his children.

I just want to say,"Thank You God".

Today, uncle finally underwent a 10 hour op.I'm not kindding.. it was so long. And thank god, now he's fine. But i'm sure he's also in pain.

Early in the morning, i fetched aunt to the hospital.We were there by 6.45am. and by 7.30am uncle was sent into the operating theatre. I holded his hand tight just before he went him, and i said, i'll be waiting for you to come out ok?

Somehow, uncle is like someone important in my life now. Taking care for him for the past 5 months and accompanying him to follow-up appointment and all the search to the answer of his pain, we went thru alot together. Staying with him also made me realise that my family is regarding me as an grown up now, that they are trusting uncle into my hands. And i must say i really tried to take care of him.

After seeing him into the op theatre, i sent aunt home to rest and rush home to help my sister to bake cookie for our pri school teacher. I mean we actually still have common teachers together.

Then at around 1.40pm i rushed back to fetch aunt back to the hospital and we waited eagerly for uncle to come out. But by 3.50pm he was still not out yet. So i asked the nurse on duty at the op theatre, she told me they just started the op. i was like this is not possible.. ok luckily at 5pm, i asked another nurse and she checked and told me that they are closing up the wound now.

Then at 6.10pm, i asked the nurse again (now u can see how impatient i'm), and she used a really chim word which none of us could understand, but tat word just mean trying to wake the patient up before sending him out of the op theatre.

Okie, finally at around 6.30 i saw someone who looked, not looked like my uncle. His head was wrapped up with bandage, and all connected to monitor and tubing.. and was pushed to the ICU for observation.Hopefully he'll be out of ICU by tml (depends on the doctor). Anyway he's fine now.. and he was awake and i managed to talk to him. However, he was masked so he used his fingers and wrote on my palm.. And with the months of telepathy with each other, i'm actually able to deciphere what he wanted to tell me. Even i was amazed by that. Haha... where did that mo qi come from man. Anyway, aunt tried to talk to me at the same time, so i wasn't able to catch the last part..

The whole day, i prayed and i prayed.
As i wait outside the op theatre, i prayed harder and harder.
As i waited outside the ICU, i prayed more.. i prayed for everyone.
As i received his SMS that he was running a fever, i prayed again for everyone.

I guess today i lived by prayers. And thank you god. You answered my prayer.

Just last request, hope he will recover asap , i'm talking about uncle and my bf.

i need more rest. i need to start on my Neuro revision.
I need to set my heart for clinicals, and i hope i can do well this time.

Continue to live by prayer and talk quietly to god.

Life should be more beautiful than this.

At the end of Clark Quay Outing...

I was on my way home.This was taken at Little India Station. All by myself..There was not a single soul in the station, or the underpass.. Do you still there to walk there?

In the end i did, to make myself feel less scary... i ended up taking the souless underpass. what's ahead and what's behind me... Exactly nothing..

Haha...

It was an enjoyable trip all thanks to Chelsea, Crystal and YuLi.. We shall set our new destination soon. So we can go photography again..

 

Clarke Quay 6

 

Clarke Quay 5

 

Clarke Quay 4

 

Clarke Quay 3

 

Clarke Quary 2

 

Clarke Quay 1

Clarke Quay Photography

Finally Finally exam's over. And back on my photography trip around singapore again..

Today's spot...

Clarke Quay

i met up with 3 other friends, chelsea, crystal and yuli for a photography adventure around Clarke Quay. Met them at the station at 6. Was alittle late, coz i went to JB in the morning..

Anyway although i didn't take as many photos as the last trip to chinatown. I tot the photos came out really different from the last time..

I realised that it's much harder to take night shots then in the day.. and to get the really nice effect, i tried not to use the flash and tried some exposure and some focus at the centre spot.. and effect came out ok... i wanna explore more on manual function of the camera then just taking auto function shots.. coz it's so auto that the shots dont come out very nice.

Anyway, we chilled at the thai restaurant, food was gd.oh but this time we didn't take the food.. and i chewed on a carrot-looking chilli from the tom yam goong... Hot spicy hot.. can imagine see steam fuming from my nose and ears.. and bloodshot looking eyes.. haha..

Then we started walking to liang Court, visited the Meidi-ya supermarket (no longer Diamaru) and then i watched doramon with the little jap kids.. got caught red handed by chelsea. Haha..

Chilled again at Starbucks.. 4 shared a cup of Java Chip Frappucino, and we chatted.

Now Aussie trip is off, looking forward to backpacking in Vietnam. hope this trip would come true.. wait and see how. Still planning in progress, can't say much.

Really glad that the upcoming attachment i would be able to meet the oldies and the "experienced grown up kids".. Always my hope to get posted to tat area of practice, and my wish finally came true. Hope i get to learn alot this time, and hope i can make full use of my 4 wks.

Busy schedule this wk. need to revise on my neurophysiology too.. then look at the different approaches.. i have to start something and at least know something before i go out there...

now enjoy the photos.. i'll post more along the way..

Inspiring Talk... i'll never forget

Today, after paper, stay in school for a inspiring talk by the first visual impaired man in singapore who owns his own first guide-dog in singapore..

How cool was it?

Super duper cool. He even brought his doggy along, and my class took a class with her too.
He shared with us the troubled he had with the community about having a guide dog and moving around in the community. He told us all the trouble he went to get guide dog ilegalised in singapore and allowing the blind to own their guide-dog and allowing them in to shopping permises and everywhere and every corner of singapore.

He shared with us the trips he went overseas, and the different things he "see" thru all the travels he had overseas. And then he even shared with us how guide-dogs are shared and how he advocated for the Visually impaired. He was so independent and so unbelievably strong-minded and business-minded too.. haha.. and now he's importing all the assistive technology for the visally impaired. I admire his will power.. i think i can never beat that.

Then 2 seniors who went over to Japan for their 4wks of clinical attachment shared with us their clinical experience there and the culture shock they had. and the communication breakdown they had with the japanese supervisors and how they had to act out what they did to "talk" to the supervisors. Was a interesting and pretty humorus and relaxing presentation by them.

Overall, impressed and inspired by the talk tonight. And i'm so spurred on to do something for these pple..

Inspiration shall spur me On..

Oh i'll miss my basil in the hydroponics. Coz i can't possibly bring the whole hydro pond home.So they are staying in sch. and i guess i won't get to see them unless i go back to sch.

Qn now. Should i head straight back to my music tml? or should i give myself a well deserved break?

Ans: I still don't know.

NON-STOP!!!

Freedom?

Yeah.. freedom. for a wk? finally it's over, and a break i waited for so long. Plans? no plans...

What should i do tml.. should i go to piano straight and play my feelings and stress out?

Should i just sleep in the whole day. Funny feelings, mixed feelings. Not that i'm not happy that exams are over. But suddenly the intensity of living seems to be missing now.I sound sadistic, but really, i think you live life the fullest when you are studying and pursuing goals in your Life.

This one wk. i must play my hearts out and prepare myself for clinicals.

I got great realisation today..

Life is an never ending serial..

Everyday is like a epsiode continuing yesterday,

and every chapter of your life are like a different sequence of the long serial. Just like there is Superman, Superman2, superman return. And then later maybe superman return2.. who knows what's next.

Every different chapters there are different obstacles. Seems like everyday you meet into different crisis, all kinds of trails and temptations.. and then i wonder, is there a day when you can just sit yourself down and start reflecting..

Now that exams are over. I am reflecting on what i had done in this world for the past 20yrs. I am asking myself, had I made my life meaningful, and had i made an impact in others life? Have I made true friends, and have i done what i want to do?

At least for the past 1 month, i had really been trying my best to keep to my resolution. I tried to be a gd student and i tried to balance my life with work and relaxation. However, i won't say it was a gd balance after all, but not so bad.

One thing i really miss, the band. I haven't touch my instrument for 2 years. What had happened to the passion that i used to have over music. The bunch of music lovers whom i played music with, appreciate and even cry over the music.The pple that i played with and pple standing below giving us their ovation.. wow.. moments of performance clicks in my head.. moments of competition in VCH and virgin performance at the esplanade 3 yrs ago.. Oh man i totally miss the band, and also the band trips to aust.. although it was aust almost everytime.but i nv regreted going..

Reading blogs where they reported on attending the most recent SAV @ Esplanade, participating in the performance.. looking at all the pictures. i just hate myself not going.. oh how i miss the band and the company.. the music we make and everything.. and where was I when everyone was enjoying at Esplanade. I was mugging For BSM at crystal house. Not that the session wasn't useful at all.. but i just wish to have both the cake and eat it.

Then was Ritz @ National Day. Great memories, courtesy of Chermaine. I enjoyed practising nothing but BSM PRAC again,but interestingly in RITZ CARLTON, and then watching the fireworks in front of my eyes. I was at 31st storey lehz.. great view, great company, great time. No regrets..

And then after this, never ending of sleepless nights, mugging for papers. And all i had with me was Winnie the Pooh and coffee. And eventually i turned into the periodic caffeine Addict.haha.. now that it's over..

I'm trying to look ahead at what i got for the next 6 Wks.

Just last night, uncle seem to had insomnia, maybe he's getting nervous about his op next wk. He off the light, but later got up again, and was scribbling on SUDOKO... haha, maybe that's one of his coping skills for thought stopping. But i could feel that tension he had in him,but he didn't want me to sense it, so instead he showed more concern on me. Constantly checking on me, to make sure that i'm doing ok. Asking me not to sleep too late, and always ask me if the paper was ok. and told me not to be worried coz everything will be fine. I'll be accompanying him the whole of next wk. i promise. Next wk will be spent with him and aunt. going malaysia with them on monday. and then admit him on tuesday, op on wednesday and then hopefully everything will be going well on thursday.. and get him accompanied all the time coz i know one thing, he's scare of staying in the hospital alone. he hate that place.

And then after next wk, it's nothing but clinicals.. hope i can do better this time, coz i really like to get hand-ons, and do something meaningful and impactful. I would hope that everything goes well and i can practise in the arena that i'm interested in.. and hopefully not in community.. You know how i can't stand pple doing things slowly.. oh man, thoughts of it makes me shiver..

Then after 4 wks of clinicals, 2 more wks of hols. can i go brisbane again this time? erm, i'm really keen of going, just waiting for my 2 other friends to decide, if not, where can i go? somewhere cheap, who can recommend.. but ideally i still wish to go brisbane la.

After hols, i'm starting school again. oh, year 2 sem 2 here i come.. not like i can't wait, i just wish things will be better...

Haha.. all this thoughts can be overwhelming to me coz it's just scary to even think about them. That's why i'm shutting off. I wanna slp well tonight, i wanna turn off my brain and let it have a gd rest, it has been running non-stop and i think it really need a time out.

ok... hope i can catch up with peeps before they all get into their own busy schedules again.. pple pls meet up with me next wk ok..

Meanwhile, Take care.

When you gain something, you lose something

Today, i learnt how to spell "Death" and i lost the meaning of "Life"..

I just can't believe this actually happen..

Having spent don't know how many sleepless nights just to study for exams.

End up, it just doesn't worth all the time and effort your had put in.

It was the infamous killer paper.. i can't belive he actually did some stunt again.

Everything thing i could prepare based on his past yr paper.

0 repeated.. really i meant 0..

and then i had to dig deep into my head, but ended up i could only write like 3 points for a 12 marks question. Oh god. were you helping me?

Anyway i learnt a lesson, past yr papers are distraction. They don't always work as antedotes.. so you still have to depend on yourself..

Shocked when i glazed up and saw my friend's paper fully filled.but mine only half filled..

I was utterly muted.. then i ask her how was it she said dead too..

So wat's on her paper.. Rubbish.. Coz the whole class kinda picked question to study.. but all was wrong..

Maybe that's why we are not psychiatrist. coz we can't read others mind.

haha

ok last paper to go.. i going to gain more the next round and loss the minimal.

LET IT BE!

JUST walk behind me... look at my ASs...

2 more papers to Go. So far so gd.

Revising for Exams is So sucky.

End up you only get like 4 hours of sleep a Day.

How to survive?

Life can't be lower than this moment now.

So watch my Ass coz i'm going to move faster and prepare myself for the Last 2 Papers.

2 papers but 5 different subjects. Wow.. Siao liao.

COP 1A = Biomechanics + Intro to Mental Health

Behavioral Science 2A = Abnormal Psychology + Behavior Modification + Patient-Practitioner Relationship

Wow... Overwhelming man.. I just can't wait for thursday to be Over...

Waterfest in Singapore is coming, on the 2nd and 3rd sept, at kallang Basin..

Featuring Watersports, and free tryout of kayaking, sailing, waterbiking and wakeboarding too..
I'm interested to go down..

http://www.waterfestsingapore.com

Friends if you are interested to go, ask me along ok.. haha if not i'll ask you all along.

Ok, back to my lonely island.. 4 more days to gO..

 

wishing her all the best in her exams

She would be having her exams tomorrow. it has been a very tough sememster for her. Never ending reports to write and test along the way. i m sure she must have forgotten how much reports she had done this sememster. yet at the end of the day, there is no study week and even 2 prac test and 2 reports to hand in just before her exams start. there is so much things to memorise yet there is so little time. preparing for exmas is already so tough yet she do not have study week, making life even much harder. I know she had already put in re best effort, looking at her suffer makes me sad as well. i wish i can o more for her but there is really nothing i can do. only thing is worry for her and pray hard for her. i hope god will see how much effort she has put in and let her do well this sem. if her results are not good again, i hope she would tell herself she already put in her best effort. it would b again very sad to see her cry over her results.

these few days i have been feeling very down, i think the main reason is because she is feeling down as well due to her exams. only now that i realise how important she is to me. she used to cheer me up but when she is now on the opposite end having her exams, i just cannot cheer her on because i have my own worries as well. she has been a fantanstic gf, always there to for me whenever i need her and despite her own problems, will still try to smile infront of me. i know deep down she is very scared about her exams. i wish her all the best in her exams. hope we can see each other soon. loving her with my life...

more pictures from EKKA

EKKA... ken

This was my first time gng to EKKA...what does it stand for, i m not sure my self. but it is just a huge exhibition show. I went with all my house mates, had laska for lunch, specially prepared by ChinWen. It was nice. we set of with a very full tummy. It was quite fun but abit expensive i feel. 15bucks for the entry and plus transport we had to pay about 20 bucks. but it is ok, it was an experience. this is such a big show that there is a public holiday for it.

I thought it would be very interesting. intially, it was quite amazing to see horses, and other animals. but the smell was quite bad, after smelling all the animals, i felt giddy and the entire day was quite bad. there were alot of animals to see, like fish, dog, etc. after walking awhile, it was abit boring i feel. of cause there was also fun fair. the part i would prefer is buying of show bag. Show bag is something where they put alot of things into a plastic bag and sell it at a lower price. although it was abit cheaper, alot of stuff in teh bag was quite useless, therefore i did not buy anything excpt a soft toy for my gf. i would be keeping it for the next 4 months before i return to sinapore to give it to her. i hope she likes. as you can see, it is quite cute right. at night, we went to see motor show and fire wworks, that was nice. motorbikers were doing sunts and 4 racing cars were moving round at very fast speed with great precision to do sunts as well. it was amazing how they can drive that well. overall, it was a good experience but i guess it is just worth going once a year, quite tiring coz alot of walking. I just wish my gf would be there with me, it would definately be more enjoyable. miss her so much.. even while enjoying, i would still think of her, thats y i bought her that soft toy.

getting out of hand...

DISCIPLINE

IS ALL I NEED...

i wanna live by my bOoks, i wanna live without sleep. I wanna live like superman!

i'm shutting my doors, shutting all forms of communications.

i want to go to lonely island, with my books.

Life can't be more lonely and pathetic than studying for exams.

I like schooling, without exams. who doesn't.

I wanna be Minister of Education for Once..

I want to change the system and do away with Exams!

I want to make everyone who feels like me feel not pathetic again!!

haha...

it's just a dream. I live life with dreams and hopes, because

Someone told me, " dreams do come true, and miracles happen".

My next qn is, "When is my turn?"

Going back to my lonely island. Signing off for next 2 wks.

i hope someone will keep this blog going, unless he's going to be busy as well.

december rolling blade

Today she sms me telling me how she wish we can go rolling blading together during dec and how much we enjoy each others company. I would like to emphasis how true this is as everything that I did with her, I really enjoy it. Things like gng out for a short movie, plying wosi-basi in e arcade (so old still go arcade), gng out for lunch together. Every moment spend together is so nice and thinking of them is making me miss her so much. As she prepares for exams for the few weeks, I wish her all the best. I know it is tough and even if u study hard does not mean u will do well. This is uni life and I know exactly how it feels. Study hard does not mean one can do the paper when it is so different, during exam condition how to think? haiz…this is life, just get through it ok. I love her.

I wish I was there to help her with her report

I had a 9am class today and was walking back. while listening to my mp3 plyer, I missed her so much. I was thinking of the time when she came over in Brisbane just to accompany me during my first sememster. We had such a great time. I was so happy when she told me she might be coming over here again this time but only for a short 2 weeks. I really hope this would come true as words cannot describe how much I need her. Especially with so much worries right now, i am feel very lost. My thesis just started and I am very unsure how to go about doing it. It is a study on antennas. Another big decision is weather i should continue with EMF subject or change to DSP. Both have their own difficulties but I think I might just go with DSP. God please help me along the way even if i made a wrong decision...

Yesterday, she was rushing her report. Looking at her, I wish i could be there to do all the finishing touches for her. although this might be a simple job, it could as least ease her mind off to do other work while i do the contents page, cover, alightment, printing, etc. All these may also take up quite alot of time. Throughout the one month back in Singapore, I was helping her with all these and I really enjoyed it. I never complainted at all because I was so glad to be helping her. As long as I see her not so stressed out, I would feel happy too. It certainly feels the same for her but all I have done is to show my stress to her. I know it would make her feel very sad whenever I am unhappy. It is not easy at all to enjoy urself and who says going overseas to study is enjoyment. everyday is so stressful!!...

I miss her and hope she would cope well with her school work. I love her....

always loving hui,
Kenrick

Kenrick: She is my motivation

Today was my first day this sememster cooking for everyone. the usual life starts again as i had to cook dinner once a week for everyone. There are 7 ppl and each of us take turns to cook. luckily i have my friend to help me if not it would be real tiring.

I was just broswing through the picture that my gf and I took in Batam. although it was only a very short trip (2day1night), it was so memorable. Although it was a month ago,it is still very fresh in my mind. going back to singapore and straight away gng for a trip with her was all i could dream of. the kind of excitment is unexplanable. however, I now have to face the fact that we are being seperated once more. One week of School just ended and I am very worried about so many things. everything is everywhere, I am feeling quite lost, alot of things I do not know but no choice, i know i cannot just give up like that. I will try my best to push on but somethings hundles become so hard to climb that you just want to give up. I always ask myself that would this be worth it, I really hope at the end of the day, my efforts would be paid off and I could get the results that I hoped for.

My gf is in a worst situation now, with all the test and exams around the corner, what worst, she has 3 reports to hand in. I totally understand her feeling as I have been through this before, but I cant imagine myself in her shoes. There was an incident when i had 2 reports and 1 assignment to hand in, already I was struggling. It is really not easy to handle the mental stress as while u r doing this thing, ur mind would keep thinking about other stuff that is undone. However, she is much stronger than I am. She is working very hard as well and I hope my encouragement for her is enough for her to carry on. Just bear in there ok, I know it is tough, I will always be supporting you all the way. I am sorry I cant do it physcially but I will pray for you every night. In one way or another, throughout my past one year, god has helped me alot so I believe he also can see ur hardwork and help you as well.

I would always love you with all my heart. 3 years is not a short time and every moment spend with you is so precious. I have nv regreted having you as my other partner and I am really glad you have given me the chance to prove I am a worthy boyfriend. Hope I have not dissapoint you so far, I promise i will provide you with happiness for as long as possible. Lets hope that there wil be more beautiful years for us in the future...

...

Today, I Miss Him...

basically, i'm feeling blue and my mood is grey..

I feel weak and tired..

I just don't feel like moving at all..

Preoccupied thoughts flowing out of my mind,

3rd order neurons flowing, but 1st order motor neuron not responding at all..

Not even reflexes are working...

Life has momentarily stop. I just wish to stop forever..

Life in sch is really stressing me out..

Life without him seems to be turning gray..

Lastly Life is not beautiful anymore..

Reports and more reports dateline to meet.

Not last minutes,has been pacing myself,

but still not meeting target.. How low efficient I'm.

Although my dearest hp had been missing for a few weeks,

i still miss it alot.

Haiz, Life has no colour anymore...

Last week dinner together,

this week dinner on my own.

Last week should have just stop at last week..

I wish for holidays to come.

I'm breaking down soon...

Accumulated tears are flowing out of the lacrimal gland,

seems like that is a blockage of lacrimal duct,

coz tears can't be absorbed, and it just can't stop.

I'm not strong anymore.

Today, I Miss Him...

I know that she is suffering, having studied so hard for her prac test yet it did not turn out well. I know she must be saying should have went to lab more often but given that limited time, that was the best she can do so it is ok my dear, we tried out best so let the outcome be what it would be. Alot of times we regret what we are doing becoz we meet alot of obstacles along th way but this cant be helped. Life is not perfect. Nothing is easy and especially as studies get to a higher level, no more like secondary, there is no time to ply and take it easy. Hardwork does not equal to output. At least we have to put in our best effort and just pray to god that at the end of the day, he knows what we are doing and can see how much effort we have put in.

She is so nice to let me use her blog to publise something here. I am just too lazy to create an account. I think for the next few months, this would be another communication tool with her. I miss her hugs and kisses, remember very strongly the last day when we were walking down to adam road for a simple dinner, I had mixed feelings. I may seem undisturbed but deep inside me, I was happily having dinner with her yet I am feeling sad because I can countdown to the number of hours before I board my flight back to Australia. I do not know how to describe that kind of feeling but at the point just hoped that time would just stop there so that i just eat nasi lemak and prawn noodle with her.

I miss her so much, no one can replace her in my life, she is my motivation, my soul, my everything. I cant imagine life without her. As this is my first time blogging, I wish to tell the whole world, I LOVE YOU. Lets now hope we would not have to be seperated again after my degree...

he left me on a jet plane.

Just as i'm writing this post. he's already on the plane.. i just sent him off about 4hrs ago..
This time, i'm strong. I didn't cry at the airport anymore.. but i still miss him very much. Although this is already the 3rd time we are seperating at the airport, but everytime i just miss him more and more. This time we seperated with more fears and more worries for each other.i'm really worried for him if he'll be able to manage the stress level there. Studying is really not easy, especially when you are all alone..

Exams are around the corners, but reports still not completed yet.. and wat's more still got practical exams before paper starts. hAiz.. life is really tough.. don't know how to score.. just wish i can do reasonable well.. but feel tat i'm already lagging behind alot.. i dun know how i can catch up.. too much for me to cope..

Feeling sick on the last 2 days i had left with him.. but still tried to put up a strong front coz i know if i'm sick he'll sure be very worried for me.. but now..i really feel weak..so weak tat i can't concentrate studying..

Tml will be a new beginning.We will be living 2 hours apart again.. Everyday will be a new beginning now.. i just have to live with it until 5 months later.. when will there not be anymore seperation..i'm waiting for that day.

i miss him.

today is a bad day.

I LoSt my HandphOne...

today i lost my handphone which was only 3months old. i could only blame myself. How sleepy head i was, just board the train without checking if i left anything behind. and how sleepy head i was, didnt even realise i lost it, until i reach yio chu kang mrt station. Anyone who were at Newton MRT station on the 12th July 2006 at around 8am. If u witness anyone stealing a Samsung D600-C from a black purse, pls contact me or tag me here..

Tat kind soul actually return my purse with my cards in it,but not with my handphone in it. I dun know whether to be happy or sad. I mean tat handphone had lotsa of feeling attached to it, and had witnessed many events during this past 3 mths. ok, being sad is one thing, i had been sad for almost the past 12hours, despite all the encouragement and comfort from my friends and loved ones, it's not helping. For once, mummy didn't scold me for being so blur. but i'm still blaming myself. Anyway friends, i had lost all contacts, so pls send me your no. ok..

Another 4 more wks to exam.. scare and worried.. fearful of practical exams.. hopefully reports and pract exams will pull me up otherwise i can see no As again... Anyway case studies were quite interesting this time, and the visit to IMH was eye opening and it's much much better than the other place tat i went last sem.. haha..

Encephalitis, AIDs and HIV, Epilepsy, Dementia, Depression.. this is all i'm reading on this whole sem.. anyway, pple go read Lifewise if you have tat small leaflet, there's issue on OT.. if u wanna know What OT does, can ask me for that issue.. i can lend it to you... bye..

some shots of us in batam.. it was a great time there, and really got to get myself away from stress although at some time, i was till think of my oink oink when i was there.. but had a great fun and hope i can go there again...

Anyway it's already coming to second wk of the 2nd term of my 2nd year in NYP.. time is turning really fast.. really scary also.. hope i can commit fully into my studies now,coz play time is over..my lecturer was saying the occupation of the child is to play and maybe go to school? i'm no longer a kid so wad's my occupation? only to go to school and do well? aiyo.. i also dunno la.. also confused...

Let it be.. Let it be..
Let it be.. Let it be...
There will be an answer..
Let it be....
- Beatles 

FInal FantAsi

Finally it's all over.. This is the final product. But do you notice something missing..

Anyway for those who still dunno what this animal is, it's a pig.. it's called oink oink.. some pple will know why it's called oink oink.. anyway i took me about 2 wks to complete it.. and the brown stuff on the ground is mud not shit ok!?!

I was away at batam.. will put more photos on my batam trip when i'm more ready.. it was funny.. did cable ski there, and i completed 4/5 of the route.. i'm satisfied with that performance... haha. had lotsa fun there, despite it being short, only 1night stay.. but it was still fun.. i think i should ask more friends to go nxt time.. will be much more fun.. we can camp together and stuff... Tat's why i said, there is always 2 side to a coin, just like there's 2 side to batam..

Today, did a case study on a HIV positive case.. and my facilitator passed a remark, imagine wad will you see him doing outside working time... will he being queuing at harbourfront to batam.. haha i was laughing to myself inside, i always thought my facilitator was an open-minded person, but now i know... she thinks of batam as dirty too...

But batam is just dirty and backwards.. the only irritating thing about batam is that the horn is not used as an emergency tool anymore, it's a tool they used to attract tourists to take their taxi... i was like WTH.. total noise pollution on the street man, especially when i was walking in town with my bf.. they were about to recognise us as tourist just by one look.. i was amazed..

anyway gtg... will post nicer pictures nxt time. 

a)

b)
erm, hi pple, can you do a poll for me? which is nicer to include into my report? A? or B? erm, can't make up my mind.. rushing out my creativity report by hook or by crook by tonight, coz will be off for a short short and i really mean short getaway at batam tml.. so have to rush my report..

hope everyone's doing fine.. and i guess all my classmates are crashing their report now as well.. i like the idea tat i gave to crystal.. really dreamy and abstract.. i like.. can't wait to see my friends' report and product too..

lastly i can't wait for him to come back.. another like 18hours i can see him face to face.. haha... i hope the sky hurry darken, and dawn to come. but then i still got alot of report to rush before i can go batam tml..

Wad a delimma.. girls are just indecisive.. haha

bYe.